2010 May « Green Duckies & Other Tales about Dana

Well. I had a sucky weekend. I hope you all had a much better on than me.

Long story short, I seem to have developed some version of the plague. Not the dying one, just the “You will want to die” version. I am not going into any more detail than it was horrible and gross and disgusting.

Did I get to go to Beth’s for an exciting scrapbook weekend? I did not.
Did I get to go see my Uncle Bill for his 75th birthday celebration? I did not.
Did I get a Dr. Chicken balloon? I did not.
Did I get to stay home and be harassed by starving cats? I did.
Did I irritate Keem so much that she has forbidden me to ever say “Keem, I am dying” or “Keem, can we go to the library?” ever again. I did. Also, apparently, sick people don’t get to go to the library. I think that’s just dumb.

Plus, this was the big season/series finale week.

I sobbed through Grey’s Anatomy (even though none of the characters I like died (yet)) because I hate it when people die. Keem kept handing me tissues and laughing at me (although she did get a little teary eyed)
We watched UP and I sobbed through the first 15 or so minutes because his wife died and I knew she was going to die but still, he was going to be all alone and then they wanted him to go to the home and it was all very sad. And then the ending was happy. I cry at both happy and sad things. I am an equal opportunity sap.
I sobbed through LOST because people died and people didn’t die and people were reunited and it was all happy and sad and very confusing. Thank God this show is over. It has taken up way too much of my life that could be better spent playing Plants vs. Zombies (It’s a computer game. And there are zombies that want to eat your brains and you have to defend your brains by attacking them with plants. It’s quite fun)
I also watched The Mentalist’s season finale and did not cry, mainly because while some people died, I didn’t really like them all that much or they were not pivotal to the plot. There were a few tense moments but I was okay since there were no clowns

Last night I turn to Keem and bellow (completely off key) the song that is haunting me.

DM: Take a goooooooood look at me now. If you look cloooooooosely, it’s easy to traaaaaace the track of my tears. Whoaoaoaoao.
Keem: Wow. It’s my face and that’s not even close to being on key.
DM: Oh, yeah, that makes more sense. Face and trace rhyme. Should I sing more?

Suffice to say, the answer was a resounding no.

I am feeling much better and am glad that I no longer have the plague. Hope you all had a much better weekend than I did. Also, I have stopped crying whenever someone brings up Grey’s or UP or LOST. This might be due to the fact that my dear friend James (some of you may know him as the guy I was completely head over heels for but soon realized that we can never be together because a) he’s the most annoying man in the world, b) he may be an android and c) I told him that he was like Adam West Batman when I was drunk. Good Lord. I just reread that post and remembered that I glow-ducked that night. As in I took rubber ducks that glow and danced with them in a glow-sticky, rave-like manner) sent me the link to the most inappropriate YouTube video ever but it made me laugh hysterically. Apparently there has been a parody of Batman made that is, well, explicit and by Vivid Entertainment (can you tell that my work is blocking certain words?). A Adam West Batman parody. The trailer is hilarious. I may have to buy it just because I love Adam West Batman that much. It can go with the Pirate explicit movie I won with a picture of Jesus.

I have been thinking that it’s been awhile since I’ve done a photo essay and maybe I will regale you with pictures the next time I post. What should it be about?

Why my kitten is roughly the size of a football and both the dorkiest and most annoying cat in the world?
My exciting trip to La Crosse this weekend?
Random pictures that amuse me?

Only the shadow knows.

I have no idea when the chicken conspiracy started but I’m sure I could figure out if I checked my archives. The main thing is that, once upon a time, Beth discovered that pointing out chickens and chicken related things to me is funny. And, after much resistance on my part, I discovered that yes, it is funny. Unlike Laffy Taffy jokes which are just wrong and stupid.

The chicken conspiracy is responsible for my having a stuffed chicken named Mr. Calitri and for there actually being a picture of me wearing a chicken hat (not that I can actually find said pictures right now since my Flickr pro account expired).

Today, my boss asked me to call a florist and order flowers for one of my co-workers who is recovering from some sort of surgery that involved the gall bladder or a kidney stone or something like that (I don’t pay attention to these things, people. All I know is that since she’s been gone, there have been no random 7 layer bars appearances and that makes me sad).

I Googled local florists and found one that meant my qualifications (1. Local. 2. Didn’t make me sit on hold for 15 minutes before they even bothered to talk to me. 3. Willing to have the driver come pick up the card we had all signed for her before bringing it to co-worker’s house). While I was looking, I came across the best get well bouquet EVER!