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- I’m in a somewhat of a cranky mood so I am going to vant for a moment.
- I promise these will be funny vants though. No panicking, loyal subjects…I mean gentle readers.
- So my friend Annette lent me a book series which I may read. They are about vampires and I like vampire books (It’s actually more of a fondness of the paranormal, not the actual “I really hope that I meet a vampire” feeling). But one thing is keeping me from possibly discovering another author that I might absolutely adore and have another way of staving off boredom. And that is that the woman who wrote the books is named Raven Hart. Right. Your parents decided that you should be named dark deer. Please. I am fine with nom de plumes but does it have to be so cheesy? Sheesh.
- I am sick. I am sick of being sick. So very sick. Sadness.
- Okay, that wasn’t so funny. Unless you could hear me singing the sickness song in my completely off-key, scratchy voice.
- I like to sing. It amuses me.
- Huh. I think that might be it. Is the only thing making me cranky the fact that I don’t like this woman’s name and that I’m sick? That can’t be right.
- Oh, wait, I forgot. We’re out of Mountain Dew in the break room and no one will go up to SA for me. Amber offered me an apple. I am not sure how an apple is going to work. She said she doesn’t have any symphathy for me because there are plenty of other pops. Beau said there is no substitute for Mountain Dew and I agreed.
- Beau also rejected candy earlier today from Keem because candy doesn’t have caffiene.
- I think Pepsi should make a Mountain Dew flavored candy. That is sugar free and tastes just like the pop and has no calories and would stave off my cravings for the sweet, sweet nectar of the gods.
- Rykken left early. I am all alone in my corner of the office. Aloooooooooooone.
Okay, I think I’m done. Except it is supposed to snow and I reject the snow. I wish I could greet it with the enthusiasm of Kalli (she chatters when she sees it and it is seriously cute. Will post video someday) or this cat.
Stupid LOL cats. They ruin a good crankiness with their cuteness. Now I am smiling.
Sheryl from Paper napkin has been doing this and I’ve really enjoyed reading it. She has been posting about the things that make her happy, something about 365 days of Grace or something like that. Anyway, since it’s the close to the end of the year 2008 (how is this possible? I once thought I wouldn’t make it to be 30 and now I’m living in the 21st century and am 41? And where the heck is my flying car?)
I kind of did something like this yesterday and figured what the heck, why not again? I doubt I could do this every day but it helps to think of pleasant things, especially when my old “friend” Depression is nipping at my heels. She’s such a bitch.
- Comments! I am a comment whore and I admit it freely.
- Friends, both IRL and on the interwebs.
- Books. I love books so very much. I love them with the passion of a thousand burning suns (the same passion for which I hate Nickelback (funny story (or sentence actually) my credit card has a contest going on where I could win the opportunity to follow Nickelback on tour for five days. If I was to win, I think I’d have to decline because you would all wake up one morning to news stories about how I bludgeoned them to death with their instruments shouting “You should not be famous! You are no-talent hacks!”).
- Um, I think I was talking about books, right? Calming down now. Hoping that no one actually budgeons Nickelback to death because I could be in big trouble.
- Anyway, books. I love to read so very much. I try to have a book with me at all times because you never know when you might have to wait for something. Especially in the break room at work. 4 minutes waiting for your lunch to heat up just flies by when you have a book.
- Food days at work. Someone brought in spiral hams and I was able to have ham sandwiches. Plus there were ham pieces that were overly cooked and those are my favorite. Mmm. Ham. Maybe I want a 3rd sandwich.
- The fact that my mom loves me enough to think about buying me an iPod for Christmas. I have, however, squashed that idea by suggesting she visit my wish list on Amazon and choose something from that.
- Joss Whedon. Neil Patrick Harris. Nathan Fillion. The fact they have combined to create Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog makes me incredibly happy. One of my suggestions on the Mom list.
- Discovering Charlaine Harris not only writes the Sookie Stackhouse books but has other series. Found Grave Sight at Barnes and Noble the other day and have been devouring it. This is a series about a woman who was struck by lightning when she was younger and can now find dead people. I love paranormal mysteries. Book 2 and 3 from the series are also on the Mom list.
- Knowing that Keem, Kari and I are going to make cookies this weekend with the nephew. Should be seriously, seriously fun. Or drive me insane. One or the other. And we need 20 pounds of flour. This scares me. That’s a lot of flour.
- Daily Dose of Imagery. He’s in Canada somewhere and takes pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. Today is a yellow tram and it is very cute.
- Music. I love having my iPod at work and whenever this particular song comes on, it makes me want to sing and dance along. It’s happy and funny and the video is really cute. I’ll have to check out her other music. Thank you iTunes for free music on Tuesdays.
- I mentioned my fondness for the LOL cats, right? At first I resisted them (it was the grammar and the spelling. It made me hurt) but I learned resistance is futile and gave in. Really, I should be pleased the cats can type instead of expecting them to spell correctly. And look! I have figured out how to insert the pictures properly! YAY!
So. Had quite the day yesterday. Burst into tears twice (once frightening a male co-worker who then offered me his tea. Which was sweet). Possibly more than twice. Thought about saying screw it all and quitting. Realized making a decision like this when I’m having a crappy day and in this economy is probably not the best idea. Came to my senses after crying on Co-Worker Jessica for a half hour.
Anyway, long story short, I am EXTREMELY overwhelmed at work. Extremely. Lots and lots of whelm is piling up on me (what exactly is a whelm anyway and how can it be over you? These are things I wonder about) and I am at the edge about ready to jump (figuratively speaking). When I get this way, it is helpful if there are things that make me laugh.
- The Snowmen that Keem and I spent hours on (figured out how to link them. Kind of mad that they’re so small and you have to actually click on the picture to make it big enough for you to see but the one of Patrick Stewart is well worth it. Trust me)
- LOL cats
- Anything and everything Star Trek related
- Imagining crushing my enemies like the little bugs that they are…oh wait, not that last one
- Reading about how some stranger’s kid starts talking about how the earth is COLD and DARK (not sure why that makes me giggle but it did)
- Keem’s dad being out of the hospital (okay, that didn’t make me laugh but it made me happy)
I hope you are not under a huge pile of whelm, gentle readers. Have a good day. I’m going to go read my book now. Yay, books!
So part of my job is tracking who has sent in questions to our Electronic Library here at NABABNA. We have a log that I have to type in information about who sent what and if we added it. Last week, I was somewhat tired and found myself nodding off at my desk. You know, your eyes start drooping, your head starts bobbing and next you know, you’re drooling on your keyboard. So far I’ve been able to avoid the keyboard drooling.
Anyway, I notice this happening last week and manage to wake myself up a little bit. I stare at what I was typing. It was supposed to be a brief description of a problem we had here, where we found out certain replacement checks had to be ordered through a different department instead of following our normal procedure. But that’s not what I wrote. No, I ended up typing “Certain Department/Cowboys cannot work together.” What? This makes no sense at all. What does the certain department have against cowboys? Is there a range feud?
Today it happens again. Except this time it is not in the log, it’s in the actual Electronic Library. The one that gets read daily by tons of people. And what I’ve written could have been displayed on the front page for all to see that I am completely insane.
Today’s information for the representatives? “Information has been added to the Electronic Library about cashing pirates.”
WTF? Am I on drugs that I am not aware of? Do I have a rich fantasy life involving work, pirates and cowboys? I have no clue. And the real question – since when can pirates be exchanged for goods and services?
Prior Comments
Whatever drugs they are, I’d like some of them, please 
Pirates, they are good for almost anything. Arrrrrrrgggggggggg
Sleep more! I know you can, anywhere, obviously! This is all I have left, since Joe stole my line. Meh.
“Do I have a rich fantasy life involving work, pirates and cowboys? “
Okay, I am cranky. I admit it. I’ve been kind of cranky this entire month because someone who works here at NABABNA has crossed my path and I now feel the need to annihilate them.
This person (and I have not been able to establish if I am overreacting. I am possibly overreacting but dang it, my feelings are real and you have hurt them beyond repair (Okay, not really)) has done some things this month that have really irritated me and I want to talk about it but I really can’t because, let’s face it, I don’t want to get fired for my blog. Or for possibly saying “Dear co-worker, I really want to stab you with a fork” to said person. Because, you know, it’s really hard to get another job once you’ve said that. Or done it for that matter.
But the best part of this is that Co-Worker Jessica understands exactly what I am going through and is the vantee to my vanter (Vant, for those not in the know, is a word I coined years ago when I was still at NABABNA’s main call center. It is a cross between vent and rant and sums it up perfectly). Today she was telling me that she can’t control other’s actions and so she takes deep breaths (yeah, she really is that perky) to help her deal with it.
So, when I got an email from the co-worker who I wish to strangle if she sends me one more email telling me how to do my job (okay, maybe it is not that extreme. Remember I said I might be overreacting?), I had to forward my complaint to Jessica.
To be on the safe side, I deleted everything except the last part. Otherwise, it is possible that someone would be able to figure it out.
From: DM
Sent: Tuesday, November 25, 2008 12:55 PM
To: Co-Worker Jessica
Subject: FW:
Oh, good Lord. Are you a bad word* idiot (not you, Jess, the irritating co-worker)?
Grumble, grumble, bad word, grumble.
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths not working. Banging head on desk.
*I try very hard not to swear at work. So instead of swearing, I say bad word a lot. It makes Jessica giggle.
I am trying to be a better person. I’m not succeeding. Also, I may have scared my co-workers when I hissed “Stop sending things to the Virtual Library” in a deep, gravely devil voice. Since I started out the day with 15 emails in there and have received about 20 more.
I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.
Hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving. I am actually cooking!* Be amazed.
*Technically I am cooking tonight. And what I am cooking is pretty easy because it is a Pampered Chef recipe for a turkey ring. And I’m substituting Rotisserie Chicken from Super Target for the turkey. But still, I am cooking.
Turkey Ring Recipe
2 pkg. refrigerated crescent rolls (garlic butter flavor because the only other ones left were reduced fat and can you say blech? I can)
2 cups chopped, cooked turkey (Or chicken if you can’t find a stupid turkey loin at Super Target because they had to carry 500 20 pound turkeys instead. Convince roommate to chop chicken because the last time you tried using the Ultimate Chopper, your delicious Szechuan Chicken ended up being really spicy chicken pate)
1 1/4 cups grated Swiss Cheese
1/2 cup chopped celery (or none if you forgot to buy it)
1/2 cup sweetened, dried cranberries (the best part! I love Craisins!)
1 tbsp. dried parsley or 3 tbsp. fresh chopped parsley (whatever)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tbsp. Dijon mustard (Please. I reject your Dijon mustard. I use yellow mustard. And possibly some of the Sweet and Nicely hot mustard from the Mustard Museum)
1/2 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper
1 egg white, lightly beaten (Oh, yeah. I forgot about this part)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. In mixing bowl, combine chicken, 1 cup of the cheese, celery, parsley, mayonnaise, mustard and black pepper; mix well (or combine everything if you are me).
Scoop filling evenly over desired crescent rolls that have been laid out in an overlapping circle pattern with long point to the outside like a starburst pattern. Bring long points over filling to center, joining with short points. Brush outside with egg white and sprinkle with remaining cheese (or don’t. It’ll still work). Bake in oven 25 to 30 minutes, until golden brown. Serves 8.
It is fantastic. I love it. I’m also going to try duplicating a Turkey Pasta Salad recipe that I’m addicted to. With chicken instead, of course.
It is getting to be close to the end of the month and I am very stressed out. Work has been crazy busy and I am extremely tense. My work load seems to have doubled and it is insane. But I have a nice weekend planned. Beth and I are going to scrapbook like crazy. I am looking forward to it.
Last night we went to karaoke and it was really slow. At one point Beth turned to me and said “And this is why we still go to karaoke.” Bryan was singing “Halleluiah” from Shrek and it was beautiful.
This morning, Co-Worker Rykken asked how karaoke went and I was telling him and Christy about the song.
DM: I cannot understand why he is not famous and Nickelback is.
They were amused by that. I’ve mentioned that I hate Nickelback with the fierceness of a thousand burning suns, right?
Anyway, off to take a nap before Beth calls. Hope you all have had a good week.
Can you believe it is the 21st? The month is more than half over and I’ve made it every day so far. Amazing.
So Co-Worker Christine (not Christy) got married last month and then had her honeymoon/symbolic ceremony in Mexico this month. She sent out the pictures and there were some that caught my attention and, yes, amused me.
This was the view from her room. Very pretty. And yes, I am a little jealous.
This amused me because of the whole frog aspect. She also brought me back a Senor Frog’s shot glass which one of my many frogs now looks like he is imbibing from it.
May I just say HA! I have felt like this many times. Probably a good thing I don’t drive.
And I just thought this was a pretty clever way of saying “Please don’t litter.”
Congratulations to Christine and Wilder. I am very happy for them both and wish I could have been there to help them celebrate (Keem and I were invited but I ran out of PTO months ago. And there was no way I could come up with the money for it either).
So I was updating our Internal Library today and was getting more and more depressed at the state of our economy. Two of our clients have suspended paying dividends, one is filing for bankruptcy and another one is rumored to be going bankrupt.
I asked Co-Worker Rykken if I could vent and he agreed. I pointed out the Internal Library alerts and bemoaned how bad things are. He reminded me tomorrow was the beginning of the change and that did help but I wasn’t completely convinced.
I went back to the Internal Library inbox and found this email from him:
______________________________________________
From: Co-Worker Rykken
Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 1:44 PM
To: Internal Library Inbox
Subject:
Happy Funtime Company announced that sales are at an all time high. CEO Jerry Smiles said the future of Happy Funtime looks positive, “The future is so bright you will need to wear shades.” Coincidently, Sunglass Hut sales are up 2%. Sales of Cory Hart’s CDs are still rock bottom.
This made me laugh (of course) and Co-Workers Jessica and Christy asked me what was so funny. I forwarded the email to them.
Christy: Who is Corey Hart?
DM: Groan (she’s really young). “I wear my sunglasses at night so I can…so I can…”
Rykken: Oh. That means I was wrong. I meant the other song, the future’s so bright one
Being me and knowing that this will drive me crazy if I don’t figure out who sang the song, I Googled it.
DM: It’s Timbuk 3
Christy: Well, that’s an interesting name.
Rykken: Might explain why they don’t have a lot of popular songs
That led to a discussion of 80′s movies (started because I remember the Timbuk 3 song being in Kuffs and Rykken thinks it is in The Secret of My Success) and Rykken’s trying to remember Michael J. Fox’s name led to the discussion about how awesome the Back to the Future movies are (Keem and I had a mini marathon Saturday night (they were playing in order on Encore. I love cable)). And now my mood is better. I love my job.
I’ve also been typing November 4th, 2008 on everything today. I may just be a little eager for tomorrow.
We received an email today from our supreme commander (boss’s boss’s boss’s boss) that one of my co-workers passed away. His name was Kelly and he was a sweet and funny man. I didn’t know him that well (since he was up there in the high echelons of the company) but he always had a smile for me and would occasionally ask me if I was still going to karaoke (which was something that was brought up in my first “Welcome to NABABNA Stock Transfer” meeting four years ago).
I am leaving work early today because I started crying when talking to my boss (the awesome Cheryl). I’m crying now. I’m trying to stop but there’s so many things piling up on me again. It’s the end of the month so there was a lot of stress over getting all of my calls monitored. I updated 20 items in our Internal Library which took me all day. When I got the email, I started thinking about how I would feel if anything happened to Cheryl. And, of course, I keep forgetting to take my Effexor. Cheryl said she’s going to add that to my job requirements. Maybe if my raise rides on it, I’ll remember (yes, she’s kidding).
Have a good night. Don’t die. I hate it when people die.
On a lighter note, last night I opened up the mail box and was incredibly excited to see this:
I love www.despair.com with all my heart. Is that wrong?
A sign of the impending apocalypse
I was listening to the radio the other day and a song came on. This is actually not that surprising. Radios = music (well, in my world. Not in the world of those people who like the news or talk radio*
(*Not that there’s anything wrong with that (unless you listen to Russ Limbaugh. I can’t stand him (Or Howard Stern for that matter (Is he even still on the air?)). Beth’s mom has MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) on the radio in her bathroom. The first time I walked in there and switched on the light, there was this deep voice and my response was “God?” And yes, I did figure out it was the radio.
Now if I have to go to the bathroom when I’m there, I’ll say that I’m going to go talk to God. Or respond to conversation with “God was just telling me about that upstairs.” It’s fun.).
Anyway, back to the sign of the impending apocalypse. This song came on the radio and I was seriously enjoying it. For a moment, I thought Lyndyrd Skynyrd had released a new version of Sweet Home Alabama and I was thrilled (I love Lyndyrd Skynyrd. What’s not to love? Southern Rock, um, (rocks for lack of a better word)).
And then I looked at the display on the radio. It read Kid Rock. All Summer Long. Not Lyndyrd Skynyrd. Not Sweet Home Alabama. Oh my God, no!
DM: How can I possibly like a Kid Rock song? This is wrong! WRONG!
Keem: It’s pretty good though.
DM: But Kid Rock!
There are those of you that will remember how Beth and I are absolutely convinced that “Picture” is the worst song ever and those who sing it at karaoke should be shot (Actually, I’m not sure Beth ever mentioned shooting people. That might just be me). So the fact that I like a Kid Rock song makes me feel that I am betraying my own karaoke rules. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.
**************************************
Why I should not be allowed to own scissors
Yes. I cut my hair again. But in my defense, I was provoked beyond reason. My hair was being irritating and aggravating. The worst part of this is that Keem sent me an email today that I didn’t figure out right away. And when I did figure it out, I was already half way through cutting off the pony tail (Former Boss Matt told me that’s how his brother used to cut his hair. Back when he had hair). And I’m buying a laptop (Yayayayayayay! My sister is awesome!) and thought this would be a good way to save some money (my budget has now gone from Tight to “Oh my God, I can’t spend any money for the next six months.”).
When I went over to see Keem and ask her if I was correct about her indicating that we could go and get our hair cut, she said yes. And then I silently turned around and showed her the back of my head. And then all of my co-workers silently (and not so silently) dissolved into laughter.
Martha: Dana? Did you cut your hair again?
DM: Um, yeah.
Jessica and Christy: You need to stop doing that!
Carla: What did you do?
DM: I kinda cut my hair.
Carla: How do you kinda cut your hair? Is that the same as being kinda pregnant?
Andrea: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Keem: Turn around.
Carla and Andrea: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I will post the before and after pictures for you. Keem said she would take the pictures tonight.
And here is the email. My explanation regarding my suggestions are included. I have bolded the text so it makes sense.
_____________________________________________
From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 9:12 AM
To: DM
Subject: Since we aren’t doing laundry tonight…
Do you wanna (Insert something you’ve wanted here) …?
Keem
_____________________________________________
From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 9:14 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Since we aren’t doing laundry tonight…Inserting things I’ve wanted
Go to Senor Wong’s? (Best Chinese/Mexican food in the world and right in our building)
Go to the Library? (I’ve been trying to get her to take me here for years. No luck)
Go to the hardware store? (I have started making memo boards for people at work. I want to be able to add a magnetic section to it so I want metal (I also need tin snips because I have been trying to cut up mint tins. Regular scissors don’t work very well). Jo-Ann’s doesn’t sell metal that I could use as a magnet board)
Have yummy, yummy potatoes and garlic bread? (I’m thinking this is pretty self-explanatory. But, if you were not aware, Keem is the best cook in the world. And we went to the Farmer’s Market on Sunday where I bought Roasted Garlic baguettes)
DM
_____________________________________________
From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 9:20 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Since we aren’t doing laundry tonight…Inserting things I’ve wanted
No.
NO!
NO to the Nth degree.
Emphatically no.
Probably not.
Try again…
Keem
_____________________________________________
From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 9:22 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Since we aren’t doing laundry tonight…Inserting things I’ve wanted
Work late? (I’m running out of PTO and have Friday off (doctor’s appointment). I have to make up time)
Sit across the street and take pictures? (Discussed this morning on our way to work. There is a park that overlooks the Mississippi River)
Get our new badges? (Pogo reference)
DM
_____________________________________________
From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 10:10 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Since we aren’t doing laundry tonight…Inserting things I’ve wanted
I am so sorry that you took your hair into your own hands. I can’t believe you didn’t get that that was what I was trying to say to you. 
(This is obviously after I showed her my hair.)
Keem
_____________________________________________
From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 10:13 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Since we aren’t doing laundry tonight…Inserting things I’ve wanted
You can’t be cryptic with me! My brain doesn’t respond to cryptic! (It really doesn’t. I can sometimes pick up on it but it requires a lot of effort. And I prefer to use that effort for solving murder mysteries (not real ones, ones in books and on television))
No biggie. Will you take a picture of my hair before we go so I can blog about this?
DM
_____________________________________________
From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2008 10:26 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Since we aren’t doing laundry tonight…Inserting things I’ve wanted
Yeah. I think that you also need to do the emails too.
Keem
