Yes, yes, I know I’m behind.  It’s all TV Guide’s fault. 

I should probably explain that, huh?  So TV Guide is mailed to you about a week in advance.  So I got the issue, started reading it (not noticing that I was on the wrong week) and noticed that there was a Last Comic Standing article.  You can imagine the excitement at the table when I mentioned this to Keem, especially since it was Tuesday night and LCS would appear on our TV. 

DM:  Ooh, Keem, look…Last Comic Standing article!

Keem:  Oh, cool.  I want to read it after you.

DM:  Ooh, look.  John Heffron.  He pretty.

Keem:  I like Gary Gulman, he’s very cute.

DM:  Ooh, shiny picture of Alonzo Bodden.  I like.  He pretty as well.  I lick picture now. (Okay, no, I did not lick the article…but Alonzo Bodden is hot.  Freakin’ Hot!)  Ick.  Corey Holcomb.  He annoy me.  Take article away.  Bad article.

Keem:  Wait, why are there only six of them?  Tammy and Kathleen are here but who’s missing? 

This is when we discovered that we were on the wrong week and that our beloved Jay London would obviously be leaving the house.  We were sad.  There were tears involved.  I was almost too depressed to watch LCS.  I still did, of course, because, hello, Alonzo Bodden and John Heffron?  Not going to miss them.

Jay went up against Gary and they were both hilarious…it’s just that Jay’s sense of humor is witty and bright and (why do I want to break out into song (I feel pretty, oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright)) not everyone gets it.  Not all people are fans of one-liners.  While Gary tells humorous stories and more people got it, I guess.  Sigh.

And last week, well, my dream came true.  Corey Holcomb is gone.  Hahahahahaha!  Now, that’s funny! 

There was the reality show twist of bringing back all of the comics that had been voted off back.  These comics wouldn’t perform, had no chance of winning but they did get to vote to see who would go into the head to head that night.  Bonnie McFarlane made some comment about how hard this was for her because she hated everyone.  Please.  Let’s hold a grudge because it’s just a game! 

So the decision was made, John Heffron against Corey Holcomb.  And then Jay Mohr comes out with another twist (stupid reality shows with all of their twists) and it’s a three headed head to head.  Alonzo Bodden is up on the chopping block as well.  I am now seriously annoyed because if one of my boys loses, I will be very, very upset. 

Jeff wandered into the living room to watch with us earlier.  He’s not so much of a stand up comic fan but it was on and he wanted to spend some quality time with us as well.  So he was there when I made the following comment (please do not read this, Mom.  You don’t want to know this) “I think Gary and John and Alonzo should all win.  And then they should pour oil on each other.” 

Keem replied with “Dana!  Please, keep your fantasies to yourself.”  But she was eyeing up Gary and thinking about the butter in the kitchen.  I know her.  And yay!  Alonzo and John trounced Corey’s ass because he proved what I knew all along…he’s only got two funny jokes and he didn’t bother to tell either. 

I look forward to Tuesday.

Oh, Jay Mohr was doing his usual stand up moment before the comics came out at the head to head.  He was talking about how it’s almost impossible to hit a bird and then, one day, he’s driving down the road with a buddy and they’re having a theological debate and Jay says something to the effect of “Well, I’m not really sure that there is a God.”  And suddenly, he hits a bird.  He and his buddy are freaked out.  And he leaves it at that. 

Keem laughs and says “Jay, God flipped you the bird.  Pay attention.”  Do you see how funny she is?  Do you see why I want her to blog?  Would other people start asking her to blog because she’s threatening me with a blog-harrassment suit?