Last night I finished Dear Mr. Right by Eileen Dewhurst. I picked it up at the library and it was a good book, well written and set in England (so 10 points for it right there). There was a woman who was murdered and an innocent man framed for her murder. There was true love and Good kicked Evil’s ass. As Good should always do.

But the one thing that truly disturbed me about the whole thing? I can never use the name Malcolm again to epitomize all of the hopes and dreams of a terminally single 37 year old woman can have of finding Mr. Right. Of course, I can’t tell you why because that would give away the ending of the book…so instead, I will tell you what my dream lover is like and perhaps you can help me come up with the perfect name for him. Now that Malcolm has been ruined for me.

My Mr. Right will have an odd sense of humor that I will get but others might not. He will like to read and watch movies. He will understand that sometimes I just don’t want to talk to anyone. He will cook and clean and understand that I hate to do both and will not expect me to do so (or he’ll be rich enough so that I can have that ultimate of luxuries, a staff). He is artistic and sensitive and loves my friends. And they love him. He will wear suits that are tailored to fit him. He will strut. He will be articulate. He may speak with an accent (preferably British). He will be bookish and charming. He will sing to me and occasionally dance in fountains. He will want to make love in the rain. He will be playful and fun and make me laugh. He will like movies with martial arts and car chases and buddy cops and will also appreciate romantic comedies and musicals.

He may or may not be Black. If he is, he may look like Lenny Kravitz, Delroy Lindo, Gary Dourdon (from CSI), Will Smith, Alonzo Bodden or Will Smith.

He may or may not be White. If he is, he might look like Jason Statham or Jeremy Piven. He might look like William Petersen (from CSI. I love that show) or Colin Firth or Rowan Atkinson. He might look like Seth Green.

He may or may not be Hispanic. If he is, he will look like Antonio Banderas. Or he will look like Danny Trejo.

He may or may not be Asian. If he is, he looks like John Cho (who finally has been in a movie that proves to me that he would be a good kisser, thank you makers of Harold and Kumar). He may look like Jet Li. Or he could look like Chow Yun-Fat. Or Jackie Chan for that matter.

I am an equal opportunity dreamer. Any suggestions for a good name? I’m thinking maybe Keegan. It means fiery.

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