A note: I was going to try and do a line for line analysis of this song. Unfortunately, Blogger doesn’t seem to like spaces. So I apologize that I am unable to do this. I will, in italics, add my personal comments at the predetermined breaks I have made (www.lyricsplanet.com doesn’t show this broken up into stanzas (is that the right word? I can never remember).

Now. Please keep in mind that this is my own personal opinion. I do not really think that Maria Muldaur is on Crack for recording this song. But there are things about this song that scare me. Really scare me.

Maria Muldaur Midnight At The Oasis or (IMHO) Woman on Crack. Crack Song.

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Shadows paintin’ our faces
Traces of romance in our heads
Heaven’s holdin’ a half-moon
Shinin’ just for us
Let’s slip off to a sand dune, real soon
And kick up a little dust

It’s midnight at the oasis and your camel is tired. What I’m wondering, is this a camel? Or is this actually your wife and I don’t like her so I’m calling her a camel. Or is the camel your chaperone? Because, really, if it’s an actual camel, then what does it care if we go running around in the shadows? It’s probably just sitting there watching two adults play peek-a-boo as they figure out whether or not they’re going to have sex. Because no matter how you pretty up the words, with the traces of romance and the half-moon that’s just for us, the minute we start talking about kicking up some dust, you know that’s what we want. We want sex. Unless we’re talking about dancing. But I doubt it.

Come on, Cactus is our friend
He’ll point out the way
Come on, till the evenin’ ends
Till the evenin’ ends
You don’t have to answer
There’s no need to speak
I’ll be your belly dancer, prancer
And you can be my sheik

Okay, now that’s just weird. Cactus is our friend. He’s point out the way? I keep picturing this cactus with sunglasses and a sign that says “This way to the Oasis.” Which is really kind of frightening, especially if you know me and how I feel about fruits and vegetables and now plants wearing faces. And then there’s the whole you don’t have to answer or speak so I’m figuring this guy is really pretty but stupid. So you don’t want him to talk. And again, we’re back to sex. Or dancing. And are you being a belly dancer and prancer or are you calling your sheik your prancer?

—— guitar solo ——

I have nothing against guitar solos. I enjoy them. Yay to the guitar solo.

I know your Daddy’s a sultan
A nomad known to all
With fifty girls to attend him, they all send him
Jump at his beck and call

So your Dad is pretty famous. Gosh, I am all a-twitter with my brush with celebrity. And wow, what an entourage he has! Side note – I remember seeing this movie about Hercules once. And there was this Queen and she had a harem of these extremely buff men and whenever she would get tired of them, she would push them into a pool of plaster (or wax, can’t remember) and had all of these statues. And then Hercules resisted her charms and she threw herself into the plaster (or wax) because of the unrequited love. Anyway, my point is, I wouldn’t mind having her harem myself, except for the whole plaster part. That’s kind of gross.

But you won’t need no harem, honey
When I’m by your side
And you won’t need no camel, no no
When I take you for a ride

Okay, so apparently, you are so full of yourself that you can exceed the charms of 50 women. 50 women! C’mon. Of course, if your sheik is your true love, well, then anything’s possible. And here we go with the camel thing again. Is it a camel? Or is it his wife. I must know! And then, yes, here we go. We’re thinking about sex again. How exciting.

Come on, Cactus is our friend
He’ll point out the way
Come on, till the evenin’ ends
Till the evenin’ ends

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Got shadows paintin’ our faces
And traces of romance in our heads

Anyway, this is what goes through my head when I hear songs like this. One of the best versions of this song I’ve heard was in Waiting For Guffman. It is a great movie and anyone who appreciates the absurd will love this mockumentary. I hope you enjoyed the vant. I am trying to come up with movies that this song has been in and so far I know about Waiting For Guffman and American Pie. If anyone else knows about one I’ve missed, let me know.

Previous Comments:

At 3:10 PM, brooksba said…
First off, maybe I missed this. Why is Woman on Crack. Crack Song: IMHO? Are you saying the woman is a Ho? Maybe. I was trying to figure this out. Please explain to me. Thank you.

Now, for my book report on your post:

I read the post Midnight at the Oasis – The Vant. DM wrote the post. I would recommend the post to anyone looking for an enjoyable time.

The post works on a play by play of the popular (why is it popular???) song by Maria Muldaur. It’s a shame that her last name is so close to wonderful character on the X-Files played by David Duchovny. Ah, David Duchovny… Oops, sorry, I should stick to the book report.

DM takes the first verse of the song which talks about putting the person’s camel to bed because two adults want to kick up a little dust. DM explains how the lyrics sound like people wanting to have sex but they’re afraid the camel (maybe wife of one of the people) will be watching or upset. Maybe they’re putting the camel to bed because they feel icky having it watch. I think this would be like the people who make the dogs/cats sit outside the room while the bed springs creak.

The next verse discusses the cactus, the friend of the people wanting to get it on. The cactus seems to be pointing the way to the Oasis. DM uses this verse to go on a lovely vant about how fruits, vegetables, and plants should not be personified. It reminds me of her vants on Rainbow Foods and the scary billboards. Classic! It will be adored for ages!

The segment on the guitar solo is to the point and a perfect statement. Guitar solos are enjoyable.

When DM analyzes the section about the person’s father being a sultan, she discusses a movie she once saw about a queen and her harem. DM discusses the possibilities of having a harem but not putting the men into plaster. This is something I also think would be gross. And what would you do with all those statues?

The next section of the song DM talks about is the ego of the woman singing the song. She appears to have the idea she is a good enough romp in the sack to have the man forget he has 50 women at his beck and call. I wonder how much she charges. DM also tells us about the camel again.

The final discussion from DM is about which movies DM has heard this song in. I agree that Waiting for Guffman had the best rendition of Midnight at the Oasis. I need to watch that movie again.

All in all, I enjoyed DM’s post about Midnight at the Oasis – The Vant. I hope you enjoyed my book report.

DM – at least I posted a comment right? I hope you enjoyed.

At 11:40 AM, CarpeDM said…
Oh, this is great! I can’t believe you actually did it. What a great book report.

At 1:55 AM, brooksba said…
You thought I wouldn’t actually do it? Come on, it’s like an assignment. I thought you understood my need for horrible tourture and textbooks.

=)

Love you. I’m glad you enjoyed the book report.

(In case you check the comments, I didn’t get a chance to find out when your break is on Thursday. I didn’t get much done at all. Please email me it. I’ll be checking email when I get up. I’m expecting an important one but hoping for a better one from you.)

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