Okay, this was my weekend.

Friday – play Zuma until it is time to wake Keem up. While it was a bit difficult to get her up, she did not hit me this time. She also commented on this.

K: Hey, at least I didn’t hit you this time.

DM: Yeah, I know. That’s because I’m over here (indicating a distance out of striking range).

Then it was off to Fridleykins (Perkins. In Fridley). It was a nice night, playing cards with Beth and Matt.

We had the worst waitress ever. She was even worse than the one who told Keem that her toast looked “Nummy (Yummy?)” and offered Beth ketchup for her open faced turkey sandwich served with mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and cranberry sauce. Turkey and ketchup do not belong together. I’m just saying.

No, this waitress was worse. First of all, if I say to you, my food server, that you have the cappucino pie because I saw it in the display case and you don’t believe me, hey, perhaps you could walk up to the front and see that I am right.

Second, when you bring the food out and drop some of my french fries on the ground, the thing to say is “Oh, I’m sorry about that.” Not “You didn’t want those fries.” Because, while, yes, you’re right, it’s not a big deal to me that a few fries fell on the ground, it is a big deal that you made a comment that is really close to “You don’t need those fries.” Which makes me feel fat. And I’m already aware of the fact that I am fat, I just don’t always want to feel that way.

Third, all you need to do is show up every once in awhile and make sure we have beverages. If you do that, you will be rewarded with one of the biggest tips you’ve ever seen from a group of four people. For good service, we have been known to tip 50-100%. You will never receive one of those tips because you never came back. Scott, who was not our waiter, did make sure we had drinks and good service, even though he was working very hard. He got the tip you did not earn.

Okay, enough vanting about food service. Yes, Beth, you were right. I thought I had saved this, not published it. Keem made me stop blogging last night and I wasn’t quite done with the part about Fridleykins.

Saturday Keem and I were thinking about going to see a couple of movies but it was almost impossible to manage a double feature. We want to see National Treasure for sure (Oh, Nicolas Cage, how I adore you) and then either After The Sunset or The Incredibles. But the theater thwarted us. Either we would miss the first 15 minutes of the 2nd show or we would be waiting for well over an hour. So we decided to skip the movie and proceed to the 2nd item on the agenda. Christmas shopping (imagine that I have just said “Getting injected with ebola” and you’ll have an idea of how I feel about Christmas shopping. I hate it. It might have something to do with working in a freakin’ mall for ten years. 10 years of being pushed and shoved and having my ears assaulted by screaming children and being treated like pond scum. Yeah. Love Christmas. Don’t love shopping).

We went to Fleet Farm, Keem is looking for a car thing for her nephew. She did not find the car thing. However, I did find a present for someone who is not Keem and have decided what this year’s theme presents will be based on. I do theme gifts only for the Sheepsheadians. This year the theme is “What’s the most important thing to that person?” Is it wrong that I want to purchase a Narcisscus flower for one person? For those of you not aware of the myth behind the Narcisscus flower, Narcisscus was a young Greek man who became so enamored with his own reflection that he wasted away to nothing. So it’s a subtle way of saying to someone that “I know what the most important thing to you is. It’s you.” Okay, maybe that’s not so much a subtle way as it is a pretty one.

We then went to the grocery store. Ooh. How exciting. More pushing and shoving and screaming children. Shudder. But it is actually a little exciting. Neither Jeff or Keem are going home for Thanksgiving (Keem – Wisconsin. Jeff – Wyoming) so we are having our own Thanksgiving with lots of yummy food and watching Christmas movies and apparently they are decorating the Christmas tree. I do not decorate Christmas trees. I prefer to be surprised. Plus, Keem? Yeah, she’s extremely anal and everything has to be just so and I have more of a haphazard decorating style.

Then Sunday, Keem did laundry, cooked pork chops and Mexican lasagna and cleaned the kitchen. I took the trash out. We watched the CSI: episode that we taped on Thursday. Or maybe that was Saturday. Actually, I think that was Saturday. Good episode.

Sunday is karaoke. I took my nap and got ready to go. I had a problem in which I tried to put on a front hook bra. Not used to the front hook bras. It was a little small for me so it was interesting trying to wrestle my breasts into submission while I struggled with the hooks. There were at least 20. Why would you need a bra with 20 hooks? That’s just stupid. I should mention that these are not bras I bought. These are bras that were given to me by a friend who told me I was stupid for wearing underwire bras and I was taking these bras. Since this friend once threw her lunch at me, I figured it wasn’t worth arguing about (long story).

The reason I was trying to wear this bra was because I am a one bra woman. I find one that works and I wear it all the time (except for laundry, of course). Since I was going to a bar, I knew that it would be smoky and I didn’t feel like smelling stale smoke the next day. I figured that I would wear one of my old bras. I ended up finding another one and wearing that instead. So today I am very tired but not smelling stale smoke. Mondays are bad enough.

Anyway, last night was fun. It was somewhat busy, there was a big group of people there celebrating Brenda’s birthday. I have no idea who Brenda is, I just know her name because two people sang happy birthday to her. It was a little frightening but sweet. Then it died down about 12:30 or so and so the rotation was as follows: Beth, Dana, Chris (woman who was sitting at the table next to me. Very nice. Sang Bobby McGee among other things) and, on occasion, Rick (man who was sitting with Chris. Sang something about someone strutting and King of the Road).

There was no THE BOY. Bobby was there. It was not memorable. He is as attractive and still has his Diet Coke pouring skills but the connection (connection sounds so much better than seething lust) seems to have faded. I am afraid that it is because he doesn’t have a beard and that worries me.

I do not want to be attracted to Data. He annoys me on many levels, the least level being he rarely ever makes eye contact (Or talks to anyone unless you initiate the conversation or a man (which means that he is either very shy or gay. Or both, with my luck)) and the most being that in some odd, nagging way, he reminds me of Cream Puff Man. I can’t put my finger on what it is, it may be what I am perceiving as arrogance and what might actually be shyness. I don’t know. I suppose it is harmless enough to be attracted to him, even if I am annoyed by it.

Why am I attracted to this android? I am a vibrant, dramatic, joyful, Queen of the Universe! Why am I attracted to this quiet, logical, irritating mortal who may or may not be an android? Is it just the beard? Am I actually attracted to logical people? Could I secretly be yearning for a Mr. Spock (Or Data) of my own?

No matter what, I know I will never act upon it, I have learned from previous mistakes. I think I have these flights of fancy because I am horribly, terribly alone (but also kind of like it. Yes, I know. I’m weird) and like to imagine what it would be like to be in a somewhat normal, non-WWIT? type of relationship.

I think, deep down, that I am waiting for that big kiss still. Looking for my frog prince to come and swoop me away. I am a romantic, I know it. And I know that this will probably never happen, the older I get, my chances of finding true love dimishes. But I like to dream about it. And obsess about what a random guy has said or done because it gives me something to do then obsess about whether or not I’m lonely.

This is more depressing than I meant it to be. It’s not supposed to be. I’m just slightly irritated with myself.

It’s just a beard, dammit! It’s not that big of deal! I am so weak.

Comments:

At 2:03 AM, brooksba said…

Dana,You are funny. Admit it, you like him! Hee hee. Sorry, but I like seeing you giddy.Hey, is there a sentence or two missing about Scott at Fridleykins? It just ends without punctuaction and there’s extra space. I’m sorry the connection wasn’t there with Bobby this week at karaoke. I still had fun and we just got some good Dana and Beth time. That was cool. I liked it. But then, I always like karaoke. Who knew?I’m sorry I was so late to dinner tonight. I really didn’t think it would take as long as it did.Talk to you later! Can’t wait for Wednesday night!Beth

At 2:45 AM, DeAnn said…

OK, first, I also LOVE Zuma. And I HATE bad food service people.And we are ALL romantic. Or at least we think we are. But then too much romance can annoy. Not that I would know or anything.

At 9:16 AM, The Lioness said…

No no no no!!! Though I agree that the older we get the harder it is to find love, I believe that the older we get the easier it will be for life to find us a REAL love bcs we know better what we do not want and what we must have. For the past few years I had relationships that i KNEW were not going to the right place and I think that’s why i chose to meet those men (that old theory of we attract a certain type according to what we’re telling life at that time). It would prevent my growing up, kids, marriage – iaiks! So I’ll go on having relationships even if they’re not the ONE (*she says wishfully*) but I’ve decided i must open up a bright wide window so the right one can stumble in. Bcs we meet people in the most unexpected ways. And I’ve seen ugly people finding real love. I’ve seen people who are not so decent finding real love. That can’t be it. Must be the vibes.The Boy – he tires me!!! How can someone give so much grief to a group of people he doesn’t even know??? SHOW UP AND TALK ALREADY!!! Argh.

At 8:05 PM, Firebear said…

i am at a loss for words, so i will agree with what my friend lioness said. I beleave there is some real insight there

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