Not having children myself, sometimes I feel like I might be missing out on something. A lot of my favorite blogs are so-called mommy blogs (there was an article in the NY Times that I am still a bit upset about. Apparently the author feels that bloggers are self-absorbed. Jerk), Finslippy, Mimi Smartypants, One Good Thing, Dooce and I think we can include DeAnn now that she’s the mommy of Cash (I think I may do a post about the diversity of the blogs that I enjoy).

I’ve talked about how I know I do not want to have small children and the reaction I get when I say I don’t want kids. I’m not maternal and I know it but yeah, every once in awhile I wonder what it would be like to have a baby. I usually come to my senses when I’m at the store and every child I see is screaming like a banshee. But sometimes, when I see Josh and what a great mixture of Kari and Eric he is, I think about how I’m never going to be able to see myself in the face of a child.

Until the other day. I called Kari and was talking to her about something when she said “Oh, Josh just woke up.” She walks into his room and says “Do you want to talk to Auntie Dana?” The phone is grasped by the small child in his chubby little hands and I hear this:

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I immediately pull the phone away from my ear. Jeff, who is sitting about two feet away from me, looks up. “Can you hear that?” I ask him. He nods.

Kari comes back to the phone. “Is he always like that when he wakes up?” I ask her.

“Yes,” I’m told. “He’s very dramatic.” I can hear in her voice that she is rolling her eyes over this.

“OH! He has inherited something from me!” I have, on occasion, been informed that I am overly dramatic. I’m sure it’s quite the exaggeration. I am so sweet and loveable. And the self-proclaimed Queen of the Universe. Dramatic? Hah!

Kari laughs. “I guess so.”

Then, on Tuesday, after my doctor’s appointment (I have my happy pills! Thank God), we went to Sam’s Club. She picked up a book for him and we were talking about how much he loves books. One of his favorite words is book.

I am an avid reader. Here’s something else we have in common.

One of his Christmas gifts was a book with sing-along Bible songs and a tiny microphone. He also got a little piano with a microphone. Apparently, Josh likes to take the microphone and sing into it.

Yes! I am forseeing many years of going to Josh’s plays and musicals! And we’ll be able to go to karaoke together!

I should probably wait until he’s 21 to take him to The Chalet, I suppose. 16 months might be a bit early to start him out in karaoke.

Thank God for Josh to help me through those twinges of parenting pondering.

Previous Comments:

At 2:00 PM, brooksba said…

DM,Too funny. I like that you’re going to have things in common with Josh and that you’ll get to show him so much wonderful stuff in this world. Beth

At 4:21 AM, Weary Hag said…

Hi Dana, I too read that NY Times article about bloggers and I agree with you … just because we’re not accomplished authors (published) why shouldn’t we claim our spot in the world? Does that mean every author is self-consumed? Hardly. And with reference to your comments about the whole parent or non-parent thing, I don’t blame anyone in the world for not wanting to raise a child. My daughter came as a surprise to me, and it frightened me half to death! I will always wonder “did I do the right thing by her? … did I make huge mistakes? … etc” but on the upside, I feel very lucky that she’s becoming her own little person now and has a real positive outlook on life. I admire the fact that people without children often have an uncanny ability to “surrogate” other people’s kids and yet still remain true to themselves. Loved your post!WearyHag

At 1:58 PM, Robert ~ Marlénè said…

Nieces and nephews are so cool… all the fun of seeing your bloodline survive without any of the unpleasant responsibilities. Every time I see something of myself in my nephew, I rejoiced; every time I send my niece back home to be difficult to my sister instead of to me, I rejoice. And it’s so much easier to be a cool uncle than a cool dad. It’s really the best of both worlds.

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