Hello! How are you all today?

May I just tell you how wonderful things are for me right now? May I? Please? Okay, thank you.

Today I took the bus to work because Keem is still sick. I woke up with a sore throat which seems to be the start to what everyone at the office has, including Keem. I have a condition that is just too gross to go into too much detail (let’s just say the words bloody hell describe it perfectly well). I had a doctor’s appointment that I had to get to today and I ended up getting lost on the way there. And then, once I found my bus, the bus driver told me to get off on the wrong street and I ended up walking an extra city block, huffing and puffing the entire way. The doctor I saw today told me that yes, I probably do have sleep apnea.

And you know what? I don’t care. Today was a spectacular day!

Do you know what I did today? While waiting for the bus, I stood in the sunlight and basked in it. It was about 30 degrees this morning but the sunlight felt wonderful on my face.

I smiled at strangers.

I went down an escalator and told myself there was nothing to be afraid of and suddenly, I was on the escalator instead of working up the nerve to get on. Escalators are still not my favorite thing but I can deal with that.

When I went to Subway, I ordered two small tuna round sandwiches without cheese or oil. It was filling. Normally, I’ll eat a foot long with extra cheese and heavy oil.

I walked down both the chip aisle and cookie aisle at Wal-Mart and the only thing I bought was a box of Cheez-Its. Which, amazingly enough, has not yet been opened and devoured.

I lost 3 pounds (well, not today, since I was at the doctor’s last).

Jeff bought me a box of chocolate for Valentine’s Day and I opened it tonight. I had one piece. Just one. That’s all I wanted. Okay. I want another piece. But that’s only because I wrote about having chocolate. And then read Finslippy’s post about how she got chocolate from her husband. It’s pretty cute. Check it out. Dang it, why do I keep getting the fruit fillings? Before it was orange and I think this might be raspberry. Blech. Okay, that’s getting tossed. Let’s try again. Strawberry. Yuck. And again. Ah, chocolate filling. Okay, we’re good now. Sweet tooth has been satisfied.

When I was at the doctor’s, I had to fill out this questionaire about how I’ve been feeling this last week. The least was marked 0, the most was marked 3. They all were about depression, feelings of unworthiness, etc. As I was going down the list, I realized that, while I was marking them all as 0, 2 weeks ago they would have all been 2 or 3, including the sometimes I think about killing myself (Before anyone freaks out, it’s not so much that I have thought about killing myself recently, it’s more than I would imagine my funeral and if anyone would show up).

I know it’s only been, what, two weeks since I started the Effexor? But my life has been changed. I am so damn happy right now, it is unbelievable. I could not tell you the last time I felt like this…oh, wait, yeah, I could. The last time I was on Effexor.

God bless you, makers of Effexor.

Previous Comments:

At 2:56 AM, brooksba said…
DM,I am so happy that you are feeling better. You deserve to feel better. Bask in the feelings and I smile knowing that my friend feels good. Love you. Keep smiling. I will, knowing that you are.Beth
At 3:38 AM, wally said…
DM,I caught your blog through, Weary Hag. Thought I’d stop by and say hello. I got a kick out of your chocolate (sampling) adventure. Have a wonderful day!
At 9:18 AM, annebrev said…
So glad to hear! Yay, Effexor!–anne
At 4:41 AM, Weary Hag said…
Aren’t happy pills just the cat’s meow? So glad you’re feeling more like your true self these days. It really shows in your writing!Keep smiling!Carol
At 3:26 PM, angelia said…
yay you, I am glad that you are feeling better and that I can read your blog now that I have internet. 🙂
At 10:25 PM, Mom said…
and suddenly, I was on the escalator instead of working up the nerve to get on. Escalators are still not my favorite thing but I can deal with that.Hey, my Dana, didn’t you and Kari always make fun of my hesitation to get on an escalator, acting like you both had no fear, and usually you were way down the “stairs” before me?”If you wondered why I took so long to respond to your note re feeling better, is cause I just got back from San Felipe, Baja, MX late last night, and went to work, started another scoring project today. Probably will quit the night job tomorrow, lied abt Mom dying to leave town for a week, wanted to be sure I got any commissions expected possibly would make this past week (callbacks from former week) Otherwise, the supr would just grab them. I just sent you a long email, and it is time for bed. You will be interested in new pet, especially, fool that I am, I suppose. Concerned if you have planned to follow-through with getting the apparatus used for sleep apnea, mucho importante!God bless you, Sweetie!Love, Mom