This last weekend, on Saturday night, Beth and I were sitting at her dining room table, scrapbooking. I looked up and said, in a voice filled with trepidation and excitement and maybe just a little insanity “It’s the Princess of Doom.”

Beth stared at me. In a normal voice, I said “I’m not sure where that came from.”

But I’ve been thinking. I think Beth is the Princess of Doom. I tried to tell her this on Sunday at karaoke but she’s not buying it. Her reasoning, of course, is that she’s definitely not a princess. I disagree. If you look at the definition of princess on, you get this:

prin·cess (pr n s s, -s s , pr n-s s )n.
A woman member of a royal family other than the monarch, especially a daughter of a monarch.

A woman who is a ruler of a principality.
A woman who is a hereditary ruler; a queen.
A noblewoman of varying status or rank.
The wife of a prince.
A woman regarded as having the status or qualities of a princess.
We’ve all established that Beth is my daughter and I am the Queen of the Universe (yes, it’s weird. Just deal with it). I also think that she has the qualities of a princess. Of course, I’m not talking about today’s definition of a princess which is a spoiled rotten little brat. I’m talking about the princesses of ancient times, someone who was good and kind and lovely and adored by all who know her. That is Beth.

However, I’m a bit concerned about the Princess of Doom thing. Is that her principality? The Country of Doom? I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of it. Maybe it’s in Europe. Or is it that she has mystical powers? What exactly would powers of Doom entitle? Is she able to curse someone? Does she use her powers for good or evil? I’m thinking she would use them for good but sometimes she secretly yearns to be bad. Take this example:

As Beth and I headed back to her place from shopping, she pulled up to a stop sign. “Should I blow it off?” she asked.

“No,” I replied.

“Oh, c’mon. We could live dangerously.”

“If we want to live dangerously, I think we could find something more exciting than running a stop sign (The sad part is I can’t really think of anything more exciting than running a stop sign. That’s so pathetic).”

Now I’m concerned. Beth is the one that’s supposed to keep me in line. If she is questioning the authority of stop signs, what is next? Bank robbery (Probably not because we both work for a bank and are appalled at the amount of people who think defrauding or robbing banks is a cool thing to do)? Drunken dancing on top of bar tables (Probably not since neither Beth or I drink)? Making vague threatening gestures with her fork (I really don’t think so since she gets so uptight when I do it. (As if I would actually stab anyone. Please. I’m so normal and not at all high strung))?

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about this for the last few days and I remembered how much I love super heroes and Beth and I were watching “Quantum Leap” and Char, Beth, Tom and I were talking about “X-Men” on Sunday and then Tuesday Keem brought up how the television show “The Greatest American Hero” is coming out on DVD and we’re both very excited because hey, super heroes are cool. And then I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if there really were super heroes and maybe we really are super heroes but we just don’t know it yet? And then we could form a team called The Royal Squad and we would all have cool super hero names that were revolving around royalty names.

I would be the Queen of the Universe (of course), Beth could be the Princess of Doom, Char and Tom would so have to be the Emperor and Empress of Cool and Keem could be the Baroness of Practicality and Reason (She’s always telling me she’s the voice of practicality and reason. Why shouldn’t she get the title?).

Maybe we could make Bryan the Royal Entertainer. And Bobby could be the Royal Disburser of Beverages! We could go around, using the Royal We and saving people from…well, I’m not sure what we’d save them from because we don’t actually have any powers that I am aware of (I learned this when gesturing emphatically at the cars in front of us did not make them move out of the way of Beth’s car on Friday), unless you count having an extremely overactive imagination.

Maybe we’re saving people from Boredom. Boredom is a worthy foe. We will trounce him! We will triumph over our enemies! We will…go quietly with the nice men in the white jackets.

Previous Comments:

At 3:04 AM, brooksba said…
DM,Insanity plea? I think I’d buy it. So I’m the “Princess of Doom” because you are the self-proclaimed Queen of the Universe? Does this just mean I’m waiting for you to die before I can take over and assume power? I don’t like that. That’s why I’m not the “Princess of Doom”. This was a fun post. I do agree that Char, Tom, and Keem all need to be part of the Super Hero squad (although still not sure about the royalty aspect). Actually, the more I think about it, I think I’d renounce my title just because I’m not a big fan of royalty. Okay, wanted to say hello! Talk to you later!Beth
At 5:02 AM, The Lioness said…
Good grief, Blogger letting me in! Well, “The Country of Doom? I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of it. Maybe it’s in Europe.” OH YES IT IS! You’ll see. And for excitement, real excitement, you can come to school w me and help hold the cow/donkey/sheep/goat while I grab their tongues and give them their pill/inject them. Exciting enough for you? I’d pay to see it actually. HA!
At 2:29 PM, DeAnn said…
You two seriously are a riot. I’m so glad you’re out there saving ME from boredom by doing fun stuff and telling me about it.How sad is it that that’s my idea of not being bored? Reading about other people’s fun!