Hello, internet. I am back in Minnesota. Be thrilled about it because I sure am not. Minnesota is bloody cold! Normally, I do not have a problem with the weather here but when you return from glorious, wonderful Portugal with temperatures of 50 or 60 degrees to 38 degrees in Minnesota, there is a lot of complaining on my part.

You may have noticed that I did not do a lot of blogging while we were gone. That is because Beth and I worked out a great system, while she blogged, I read my Iris Johansen books (love her. If you like thrillers, you should check her out). I was able to read approximately 12 books on holiday. This is one of the best things about being on holiday, the ability to kick back and read.

Beth figured out that we took over 4,200 pictures while gone. The majority of them are from her camera, I had some battery problems while away. We went through our combined masterpieces and managed to come up with 160 pictures which we have shown to her parents and her mom’s boyfriend, Char and Tom and also people at KARAOKE last night (did we mention that we missed karaoke? We did). I, being overly brilliant, appear to have left my pictures at Beth’s and am very sad about this. But I will survive.

This is going to be a short post because I am very tired. With jet lag and then going to karaoke last night, I am beat. Last night, after Beth dropped me off, I dragged up two bags of books, two suitcases, my CPAP machine, a bag of dirty clothes and my purse. By the time I maneuvered everything through the apartment, trying very hard not to wake up Jeff (his parents are in town and he is sleeping on the portable mattress in the living room while they sleep in his room) and set up the CPAP, it was 4 AM. Did I mention that I changed my schedule and now start at 8 AM? Can you say yuck? I can.

Plus, I got my order from flea’s shop and I had to open that right away. I ordered the coolest thing called Pussy Pucker Pots. It is vegan lip balm and I got areola apricot and it is yummy! Their tag line is “For the tastiest lips north of the hips!” You have to love it (I also ordered “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” from her as well. Its full price but she is donating 15% of the proceeds for the Harry Potter books to Chicago children’s charities). The best part of this was that there was a personal note from flea in the box (yes, I did order other stuff. No, I am not telling you) telling me she was sorry for the delay and to enjoy Portugal. It was like receiving a personal note from Shakespeare. Seriously. She’s an excellent writer and if you have never read flea, you are missing out. She is brilliant and you should so go check her out. Here is a link to something she wrote about “Gone With the Wind” that almost makes me want to see/read the movie/book again. Almost.

Today, before I broke down and got coffee (I did have cappuccino this morning but that’s different. I like cappuccino. Coffee sucks), I was having a difficult time staying awake and dealing with stock holders. Consider this example.

Stock Holder (SH): I would like to sell my shares.
DM (me. I am back to DM. Deya was my Portugal name): I’d be happy to help you with that. You could do the following. You can sell your shares over the phone by setting up a pin number or you could place them in the overhead compartments…
SH: What?
DM: No. Sorry. I mean you can sell them online.
SH: Oh. Okay. Freak.
DM: I’m sorry. I just got back from Portugal and I’m having a hard time getting back into the swing of things (translation: I stayed up way too late last night and am falling asleep as we speak).
SH: What is your fax machine number?
DM: It is (651) 555-1234. Wait. No, it’s not. Its (651) 555-0987 (Realizes that she had given SH the phone number for the job she had before this one).

And also, I may or may not have told a shareholder she had to sell her shares through the invisible fence. What really worries me about this is that she didn’t question me. So now I’m wondering, what if this woman is wandering around the city, with one of those collars on, looking for the invisible fence?

Hopefully tomorrow, I will be normal again (normal for me) and will be able to tell you all about the exciting stuff that happens in my world.