Okay, I bring you the first of three memes. Just because I am in a memey mood. And yes, I am aware that memey is not a word, Spell Check. Shut up.

I’ve seen this on a few websites but hadn’t tried it yet. I just found this on DeAnn’s site and decided to give it a try. Because I love memes! Especially ones that allow me to think. So, here’s how it works. You choose five of the following and then also add one and pass it on.

If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…I would return to the stage and star in brilliant musicals and everyone would be my adoring fan. It would be like karaoke but with costumes and handsome co-stars that worship me and I would not have to do any dancing. I would have back-up dancers.

If I could be a doctor…

If I could be a painter…I would paint bold, vivid, confusing abstracts with grandiose titles that would make everyone think that I was either a genius or insane. Or quite possibly both.

In Junior High, I took an art class, thinking it was an easy A. Let me just laugh hysterically at that because I cannot draw a straight line without a ruler. Perspective puzzles me. People are usually stick figures. I did manage to impress my teacher when it came to working with charcoal. I did an abstract picture that vaguely resembled a cave with figures dancing around a fire. I entitled it “Alien creatures, dancing madly, shouting their triumphs to the gods.” She loved it and oddly enough, when the end of class came, it had disappeared.

If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…

If I could be a librarian…I would never get anything done because I would be too busy reading. In fact, I worked in an elementary school library once and had a great time sneaking books out and devouring them at home. There are some really good books out there that are for “children” but adults could benefit from reading them as well.

If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor…

If I could be a writer…I would be able to finish a stupid novel! Or I would find a way to take my rather unique writing style and make people fall madly in love with it and demand more. It could happen, right?

If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…

If I could be a world famous blogger…wait. Aren’t I already? Self proclaimed Queen of the Universe, people! Seriously, I am thinking that I would get a lot more hate mail but I would make fun of it in my charmingly askew way and my readers would clamor for me to publish a book. And then Hollywood would demand to make a movie of my life and I would let them on two conditions – Marisa Tomei plays me and I get to meet Rowan Atkinson.

If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
If I could be married to any current famous political figure…
If I could be a show dog owner…
If I could be a character from a book or TV show…
If I could be on any game or reality show…

And this is my addition:

If I could be a private detective…I would wear a trench coat and a fedora and wear cool disguises and solve mysteries and never ever take divorce cases. And I would talk all film noir and have handsome and mysterious gentlemen who may or may not be bad guys come to my office. And they would fall in love with me and me with them but we could never be together. And they may or may not get killed and die in my arms, proclaiming their love for me and I would be very sad but soon get over it because the next handsome and mysterious gentleman would be in my office. And anyway, he was probably a bad guy if he was killed in a shoot-out with the police, right?

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