As much as I am enjoying the fake memories on my last post*, it is now time for some real memories. And yes, they are karaoke memories!

*If you have not yet made a fake memory up for me, you should go do so now because, honestly, this is the most fun I have ever had. And then go make up a fake memory for Beth. And Diana. And anyone else we can talk into doing this.

A few days ago, it was Sunday and it was good. There was the picking up of the Dana by the sister, Kari and the mother, Carol and the young nephew, Josh. There was the visit to the Minnesota Children’s Museum (still really cool). And then, there was Karaoke. And it was good.

Apparently Kari tried calling me at about 9 Sunday morning, thinking for some odd reason, that I would be awake. Obviously Kari is on some form of drugs because that is just not possible, I do not get up that early. Plus, the phone is way far away in the living room and there is no way that I would hear it (No way am I having a phone in my room, I constantly wake up when the phone rings, even when it’s not for me and that is irritating (and why is it that we only really have one phone that works? That’s just kind of weird)). She was supposed to call me Saturday night and let me know what time we were supposed to go out but didn’t so I didn’t set my alarm. I finally realized that she had called at around noon or one but by that time, Josh was going down for his nap.

So the museum closed at 5 and it was agreed that I would be picked up at about 4. They (that would be the museum) didn’t have the same Raceway exhibit that they did the previous time, it was this snow thing which was kind of boring. Josh’s favorite thing to do last time was to play with the boats and the water so we headed over there again.

I have been waking up with my back being extremely stiff the last few weeks. I am blaming the weather, I wasn’t having problems with my back during the summer. So going up stairs has not been fun. Walking around is not fun. Both Kari and Mom think this is not helped by the fact that I carry around what people have referred to as a suitcase. So I found myself sitting down in the water area and ended up watching the cutest small child ever.

He was Arabic (not sure what nation), small and cuddly and adorable with this beautiful smile. He was splashing in the water and chortling that cute baby chortle and I, at that moment, so desperately wished he was my baby. Kari sat down next to me and we were watching him together when I turned to her and said “I want a baby.” She didn’t say anything.

DM: What are you supposed to say when your sister says that to you?
K: You’re insane.
DM: Close. It’s actually ‘No, Dana. You do not.’

If you watch Lost, you will understand when I tell you that this little boy looked like he could have been Sayid’s and my son. Fortunately for me, there were several not so adorable children (Josh, of course, was not one of these children. He was an angel as always. A stubborn angel but still…) running around wreaking havoc and screaming ferociously. So I soon lost the urge to ask random men to impregnate me. Probably a good thing that happened before I saw Gil. That would be an awkward conversation. Can’t you just imagine it now?

G: Hi. How are you?
DM: I’m good. I want a child. Do you think you could knock me up?
G: You are a freak. I must leave now.

Yes. This would be bad.

I went home, took a quick nap and woke up eagerly when Beth called. It was Sunday, the most exciting night of the week and the evening was filled with possibilities! If only I could start my work week out this way. Yeah, not going to happen.

When we got to the Chalet, we saw Angie, Amy and Becky. Becky seemed to be minus Nate. Hmm. Didn’t think much of it, Angie went and got my Avon and I had fun looking at all my new stuff (all make-up. Apparently I have decided I want to be girly). Amy and Becky were talking intensely to each other and then I heard Becky say something that caught my attention.

DM: Am I missing something here?
Becky: Nate dumped me tonight. I got dumped.
DM: WHAT?
Amy & Angie: That was our reaction.
DM: That bastard!

Periodically through the night I would come up with other comments that would pop in my head and immediately out of my mouth. These included:

Rat bastard.
The afforementioned bastard.
Sacana (rat bastard in Portuguese).
He’s bald (well, he is. And we’re not just talking about a slight receding hairline here. He is in the “Dude, just shave it off already” stage. Otherwise known as “Please, for the love of God, leave your hat on” stage)!
You deserve a man with hair.

I have never been known for my tact, okay? But I was just angry and she was upset and we were trying to make her laugh. And let me state for the record that bald men (shaven or naturally bald heads, I mean) are sexy. So there. And I always appreciate a crew cut.

Beth and I decided to go and put on make-up in celebration of my new Avon treats. It was very fun. We ran into Nicky (or is she Nicole? I can never keep them straight) of the Super Classy Whores in the bathroom. She is so very fun.

James, Matt, Dean, Liz and some girl named Ann came up later. I told James what his theme song for life is (Sweet Child O’Mine) and he was less than pleased. We were not able to convince him that it would be a good idea for him to sing it. Dang it.

I’m trying to remember what else happened that night. Anything other than the usual karaoke stuff of having great conversations and tons of fun and the drooling over Gil (yes, he was there as well)? Well, let’s see…

I was told that I looked really nice (by Gil! Yay)!
James asked both Beth and I why we never tried out for American Idol – my reason (other than the fact that I’m not good enough) is that I’m too old. Beth said to ask her in a year when she’s no longer 27 (the cut off age).
There may or may not have been a period of 3 or 4 minutes where Gil and I were close enough to each other that our legs were touching and I wanted to kiss him but did not because I am not insane (or brave enough). Sorry.

Beth, what else happened? I can’t remember.

Oh, it was Dean’s birthday. He got to choose the songs for us. I ended up having to sing Beth to Beth and she was NOT pleased. She is not fond of that song at all.

Stephanie and Lisa Jo sang a song that none of us really recognized. About halfway through, they tried to quit but Bryan wouldn’t let her. Instead, he sat in the back of the bar, pulled out a Family Circle magazine and started reading it. It was hilarious.

Beth has pictures here. They are fun.

There are less than 20 days left to Christmas and I have one gift purchased. For Liz. Not my family or Keem or Beth. Although Jeff is done.

Oh, since I do not know any of my family’s address (cousins and uncles and aunts, not Kari) and Kari hasn’t sent me the addresses yet, I have a ton of Christmas cards to send out. If you want one (and how could you not?), you should email me at greenduckiesgirl AT myway DOT com. If you had previously emailed me, I am having a ton of problems getting into gmail, it is stupid and I hate it. Plus, I accidently deleted a bunch of emails in error. Dang it!

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