Hi. I am trying to convince myself that I am not sick. I am losing the battle.

I have, in no particular order, today:

1. Coughed up part of my lung

2. Sneezed explosively all over my computer screen (yuck)

3. Ran out of Kleenex at a very important time (see afforementioned explosive sneeze)

4. Almost threw up on a very sensitive client (well, no, not really, it’s not like they are sitting in my cubicle but I’m thinking it would still be bad if he heard me hacking into my wastebasket)

5. Drank 5,000 ounces of orange pineapple juice on ice (can’t handle it unless it is really cold)

6. Decided I have leprosy (this probably has nothing to do with the cold/flu/whatever the hell I have but my right hand is peeling and I can’t figure out why)

7. Lost about 5 pounds from shivering (as I pulled out my blanket, Laurie asked “Are you cold, Dana? That’s unusual.” I am usually complaining about the heat) and another 5 pounds from sweating.

8. Felt like 3 trucks took turns running over me and then backed up and did it all over again. And then started a truck ballet, perhaps Swan Lake.

Anyway, Beth, just to let you know, I will be going home after work and sleeping. Forever. Because I cannot afford to miss any more time (I like my job a little too much to lose it), I will not be able to make it to karaoke tonight. I am sorry.

And for the record, yes, I am embellishing slightly for entertainment purposes but not much (it was only 64 ounces of orange pineapple juice).

Advertisements