Keem and I went to Weight Watchers again yesterday (Week One is here). We had decided to skip the meeting since we are not very fond of the leader. There are two of them, the one we like (whose name I cannot remember) and the other one. The other one did not win my heart when she stood in front of us on our first meeting during Orientation and said “I lost 25 pounds 17 years ago and have maintained that all this time.” Both Keem and I know that the important part is not how much she has lost but the fact that she’s managed to keep it off all of this time. We know that. No lectures necessary. But when you’re sitting there, realizing that you weigh the most you have ever weighed in your entire life and while you know you’re making a great change to your lifestyle, it is still a bit annoying to be confronted with a tall, slender woman who is waxing eloquently about her fricking 25 pound weight loss.

There are reasons we aren’t fond of her, of course. This isn’t the only one. She doesn’t have the personality that our favorite leader has (yes. Our favorite. Whose name we can’t remember. Actually, now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure it’s Lisa) or lead a meeting very well. But that’s the one that sticks out the most in my head. I know it’s petty but still…a little part of me wants to say “Hey. Can you get a leader whose lost over a 100 pounds? Would that be too much to ask? Because it would be nice to see that kind of success story.”

After weigh in, and the dance of joy to realize that I lost another 4.6 pounds (total so far is now 11.6 pounds. Woo-hoo!), Keem and I tried to decide what we were going to do for the rest of the afternoon. The discussion turned to food since we were both hungry. We talked about going to Don Pablos but reasonably decided that as much as the Queso Blanco sounded really frickin’ good, it was not a wise choice to make. We ended up going back to the apartment and eating sandwiches. Not as exciting as Don Pablos but a much better decision.

Things that I have learned this week:

  1. Ordering Girl Scout cookies back in January, knowing full well that I was going to join Weight Watchers, was not a wise choice. I was confronted by the absolute stupidity of this decision on Friday when the four boxes (I know! Four! What the hell was I thinking?) of Thin Mints was placed on my desk. I love the Thin Mints. They are evil little cookies with chocolate and mint and crunchy goodness. But you know what? Weight Watchers makes a two points bar that is also chocolate and mint and chewy goodness and they are actually better. Isn’t that weird?
  2. I have some of the greatest co-workers in the world. Jodi, bless her heart, when I was talking about the stupid Thin Mints and how I wanted more of them after eating two servings (6 points for 8 cookies. What a waste of points), asked me if I wanted her to stash them at her desk. Yes! I love her. She also works at a wine bar and brings me wine corks. Which is completely unrelated to weight loss but is one of the reasons I love her. Do you drink wine? You should save the wine corks for me so I can make a cool cork board. It would be fun. Well, for me. I’m not sure how much fun it would be for you. You should try it and we can find out how much fun it is for you. I am sure I will receive emails of glowing recommendations about how exciting saving wine corks is and how you just wish you had done it sooner.
  3. Speaking of email, gmail will not load on my stupid, piece of crap computer that hates me so I have a new email address now. It is greenduckiesgirl AT myway DOT com. If you spam me, I will hurt you. I am overweight and will smush you when I sit on you. Trust me. I am a vengeful person.
  4. One of the things that has helped with the weight loss is that I actually listened to my doctor when he said “Just try walking a little bit more each day. Every little bit helps.” So, when I print a letter for a customer, I walk to the mail box thing that is farther away (about five cubicle rows) than the one that is right next to my desk. When I’m listening to music, I sort of chair dance. If I’m standing and there is music, I sort of bounce around in place. I once read that fidgeting can help you lose weight so I’ve become a great fidgeter (I am not sure if that is how you spell fidgeting or if fidgeter is even a word but I don’t care. I am such a rebel). Another thing I will do now is, when putting the cart away at the grocery store parking lot, I will walk to the furthest away cart corral. Unless it’s below zero. Then I figure I’m losing weight just by living in the stupid state of Minnesota and shivering incessantly.
  5. Weight Watchers makes a Giant Cookies and Cream Ice Cream bar (well, technically I think it’s ice milk but seriously, who cares? There’s not that big of a difference) that is only 2 points. It is gigantic (probably why they named it the Giant bar) and one of the best things I have ever ate in my life.
  6. Bacon is not 3 points a serving. This is very sad. It is actually 4 points for 3 slices and not 3 points for 4 slices. I somehow feel a little gypped by this. But it could be worse. It could be 17 points for a serving (Chicken Kiev. I have not had Chicken Kiev in years after finding that out. I used to eat two of the damn things at the same time. Oh, the horror when I figured out what I was doing to myself).
  7. Thanks, Mark, I have now found out when I am going to die. So glad I took this stupid test. Okay, actually, it was fun.

I am going to die at 73. When are you? Click here to find out!

Hope you’re all having a great week.