Why am I allowed to talk to men? Well, not all men. I’m usually good at having a conversation with co-workers that are male. I can talk to Bryan without embarrassing myself completely. My brother-in-law Eric and I can have great conversations about a lot of different topics (although he is confused and thinks that he is right most of the time. Then I correct him. I figure it is my duty). Dan Lang and I can spend a good twenty minutes talking about our favorite movies. No problem.

But let there be someone that I have just the slightest attraction towards show up and sit next to me and I turn into the biggest idiot arround. Or I say things before I think them through.

Here’s the latest example. Sunday. Karaoke. We have decided to go to the wheel (otherwise known as karaoke roulette). Dan is singing “With A Little Help From My Friends.” Here is where we run into trouble (and when I say we, I mean I).

Background Vocalists: Do you need anybody?
Dan: I need somebody to love.
DM: Tell me about it.
Beth and Angie: (Start laughing)
Liz: What did she say?
DM: Did I say that out loud?
Beth and Angie (through their laughter): Yes.

Great. Wonderful. ARGH!

Then it was my turn at the wheel. Guess what I got to sing? Because my mean friends decided that they wanted to know what the last song was (1-1 is “Like A Virgin”) and asked for 99-18.

It’s “Whip It.” Just in case you were wondering. I had to sing “Whip It.” That is quite possibly the dumbest song in the world.

After I finished, I was mentioning how much I sucked at the song.

DM: That was horrible.
James: You whipped it good.

Sudden inappropriate thoughts swirl through my brain. Fortunately I do not say any of them.

It is brought up that my schedule has changed and that I am now starting at 7:30. I am informed that I am insane.

James: I do not understand this 7:30 that you speak of.

He sounds exactly like William Shatner. I love William Shatner (I may have mentioned this before).

DM: Shut up!

He is puzzled. Of course. How would he possibly know that, when he talks like this, I want to scream “Take me, Captain Kirk!”*

*Okay, I don’t think I would actually scream that but still…as I said to Beth the other day “Only I would fall for a guy that talks like Captain Kirk and thinks like Spock.”

Sigh. I am such a dork.

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