Oh, Blogger, you are driving me insane. Here I have lots to report and you are thwarting me! Thwarter! I hate to be thwarted! However, I do rather love the word thwart because it is ever so much fun to say but it is not fun to happen.

Okay. You read about the hug. The hug was great. I loved the hug. You may also have read Beth’s little prelude to the story you’re going to read today. If you did not, I will repeat it here so you don’t have to go back to the comments (I bolded it).

“CHICKEN! Hee hee hee hee. I was ROLLING over here. My neighbors now hate me. Chicken, chicken, chicken!

It was a hilarious night. Did you notice that it was 1 year to the weekend that this happened from when Q was hitting on you?

He did hug you. And I cannot WAIT until you expose the wonderful news from tonight to your adoring readers… I’m evil.”

So. Thursday night. I’m at the Chalet. James is there. James is yelling at Beth because she tried to pay for the movie when we went to see X-Men: The Last Stand on Memorial Day. Apparently, when we come to his theater, we are not allowed to pay. And we should know better. He also yells at me after Beth goes to sing (or elsewhere) once he realizes that I would have paid if Beth didn’t. A little part of me enjoys the fact that he is so adamant about this. A little part of me enjoys everything he does because that little part of me is a freak. Trust me on this. “Ooh. James is being forceful. I am thrilled!” “Ooh. James is breathing. How exciting!” Pathetic.

He is sitting across from me which is both frustrating and enjoyable. Frustrating because when he sits next to me there is the occasional touching of our legs (see! See! I told you I was pathetic. “Ooh. James’ leg is pressed up against mine. What ecstasy!” Yes. I am a freak (although the occasional touching has started to be constant. There’s this connection between us that no one else can see. I love that (ARGH! I’m such a dork)). It is enjoyable because I can look at him directly when he is talking and also look at him but look away quickly when he looks at me and watch him look at me but look away quickly when I look at him (that sentence made absolutely no sense but I think you know what I mean. Right?).

We are talking about the next movie I want to see. I want to see this movie very badly because I was excited when I saw the preview because this is a comic book character that I either actually read one of the comic books for or saw this character on an episode of The Incredible Hulk (the cartoon but I’m not sure which one it was for. I don’t think it was the one from the 80’s because that looks totally cheesy). Beth, however, didn’t look overly thrilled with the plot. I think she might have said something along the lines of “His head turns into a skull and his motorcycle bursts into flames. Yeah. You can go with Keem.” However, Keem was also not excited about this when I told her about the movie. I do not know how my friends expect me to be a true blue comic book character movie geek unless they support me in my obsession. Sheesh (I know, I know. Get a car (and a license (I can hear Beth and Keem chorusing this in my head))).

Anyway, people have been telling me that I need to ask him out. “C’mon, Dana, just go for it already.” Yeah. That is not going to happen. I am extremely shy, people. And yes, I can hear you laughing. I know you think I’m not shy. Look. I may be the most outgoing person in the world. I can walk up to complete strangers in Portugal without knowing any Portuguese besides Bacon (Bacon), thank you (Obrigada), kisses (Beijos) and Rat Bastard (Sacana) and ask them for directions. I can tell complete strangers that they should sing at karaoke. I can tell people that I really like their shoes or hair style or shirt or the way that they smell. I can even flirt shamelessly with Craig and do a mock little shiver when he says he’s going to hurt me. But. If one of those people happens to be someone I like, I panic and get all scared and don’t know how to deal with it and can’t talk to them at all.

Why is that? Why? It is so stupid. I like James. I would be happy if we were friends for the rest of our lives but I also find him very attractive and want to smack him up alongside the head and scream “Damn it, are you ever going to kiss me?” I’m pretty sure he likes me. I think the reason I can flirt so easily with Craig but not with James is the following reasons because, yes, Craig is attractive. Yes, he’s nice and funny and everything but he doesn’t take my breath away when he brushes against me. Everything isn’t brighter and better when he walks in the door. His smile doesn’t sustain me when I think about it later. As I said to Beth on Sunday, “Give me a moment. I’m on a James high.” That’s just so sad. Why am I such a dork?

Hmm. I seem to have wandered away from my point which is that I asked James out. Sort of. Here is the conversation leading up to it:

DM: I really want to see Ghost Rider but neither Beth or Kim will go with me so I’ll probably show up at your theater.
James (J): The theater will either be closed when it comes out or, if we’re still open, we won’t be showing Ghost Rider (He’s known his theater is going to close for awhile. There has been talk that it will remain open and show art films. Which is cool).
DM: But you could do a special screening of it for me!
J: I’ll probably go see it.
DM: Good. We could go see it together.
J: We could do that.

It is the end of the evening so I reach for my purse to put my notebook away.

J (laughs): Are you going to write it down?
DM: No. I am putting my stuff away.

Beth comes back to the table. James says that he is going to leave but waits a few minutes for us to gather our stuff and then walks out with us (which is new. The last three times we’ve been there (including this Sunday) he waits so he can walk out with me. Allow me my sigh of romantic mushiness. Sigh).

Beth and I get into the car.

Beth (B): So? What happened?
DM: I asked him to go to Ghost Rider with me.
B: And?
DM: He said yes.
B: What? Seriously? I can’t believe I didn’t hear you scream when that happened.
DM: I know. I can’t believe it either.

There is a moment while I sit back and reflect on the events of the evening.

DM: Oh my God. I actually asked him out.
B: You did.
DM: And he said yes.
B: You have a date.
DM: Wow.

Pause.

B: Wait a second. When is Ghost Rider coming out?
DM: February.
B: You have a date in February. That’s eight months away!
DM: I know. But it’s a start!
B: Yes. Yes, it is a start. You’ve liked him for a year. Almost a year and a half. And now you have a date. In eight months.
DM: This has to be the longest courtship ever.
B: Did you just use the word courtship? You’re such a dork.
DM: I know.

Pause.

DM: I really like him.

The responses to the fact that I finally asked him out (sort of. It was more of a casual suggestion, technically) have all been excited and joyful (and there have been a few “It’s about time!”). The responses when these people find out when the said “date” is actually taking place have been varied.

Sarah (to Beth): Isn’t there another movie you don’t want to see a little sooner than February?

Amy: What? What (Amy actually screamed in excitement when I told her and gave me a high 5. She was somewhat confused when I told her about the February part)!?

Keem (Laughs): Well, at least you have something to look forward to.

I can’t think of all of the other responses, other than the hysterical laughter from my brother-in-law, Eric.

Sunday was very slow, there were not a lot of people singing except for Beth and I and this girl named Theresa that we don’t like (she comes up every once in awhile and she sang Picture with Bryan this Sunday and also sang some other songs and she gets all dramatic with this “I’m the best singer in the world” attitude).

Theresa sang Crusin’ with Bryan which is a very fun song but she got all weird with it.

Bryan (after the song was over): You were harder to follow than some of the maps I’ve gotten off Mapquest.

This guy that was sitting at another table came over and asked me about the song books. I was explaining how they worked and told him that the one I had was by artists and offered to let him look at it. Apparently that means “Come sit at our table, complete stranger.” Although he was nice and not a crazy creepy guy so that was in his favor. We started talking about what brought him up to the Chalet and he mentioned that he knew people that came up here but they weren’t there at the time.

There was no creepy crazy guy for me this week but Beth got a double visit of past suitors (and I am using the term suitor very loosely in which that I mean these are men that she would never ever be interested in).

Craig (and not our friend Craig, the hot guy who, according to my heritage.com, looks like George Clooney) the possible fake Scotsman was there. With his red beret on. Because nothing says sexy like a man in a beret. He did not sit with us at first, thankfully.

And Matt was there. While Beth and I agree that Matt is a lot more fun and enjoyable to be around when he has not been drinking heavily, it is readily obvious that he is quite fascinated with Beth. He ended up sitting next to her.

James was there. Yay! It turns out that he knows the complete stranger that was sitting at our table. His name is also Matt. James sat between us and then asked me if he introduced himself to us. He also told Craig he should come sit with us. Oh, the joy.

DM: He asked about the books and I told him he could look at it and then he came over and sat with us. I introduced us.
J: I’m horrible with names, I know him but I can’t remember what it is.
DM: It’s Matt.
J: Matt? Are you sure?
DM: Uh, yeah. That’s what he said (And, hello, you don’t remember!).

James was wearing this t-shirt that I have seen before and I absolutely love it because it has a comic strip on it and I can use this as an excuse to touch his chest. Why, I’m just trying to straighten out the comic strip. I’ve used this same excuse every time he wears the shirt. I have the comic strip memorized by now. But hey, what are you going to do, right? I’d like to think that I was very subtle about this and I probably was before but now I am sure he is on to me.

See, Craig had gone up to sing and I mentioned something about how I wasn’t overly fond of him and James and I had a slight argument over it.

J: Why do you have to be such a bitch (yes, he was kidding)?
DM: Because I like it. And, please, the only impression I have about him is that he was staring at Beth’s chest and stroking his moustache!
Matt (Little Matt, he’s called, apparently to distinguish him from other Matts (but the other Matt that was there didn’t have all that memorable turns of phrase so we’ll stick with Matt)): It was only the one time!
DM: No, it was at least two times (realize he’s talking about himself). Oh.

Matt leans forward and starts staring at James’ chest.

DM: Matt, you have to be more subtle about it (reaches out and touches James’ chest). You just pretend that you’re reading (stops suddenly when I realize that I am giving away a major secret. What was I thinking?)…

When I told Beth about this later in the car, she burst out laughing.

B: I think that’s the best thing you’ve said today. You actually told him that!
DM: I know. Oh my God!

There was the before mentioned leg touching for most of the night. If I moved, he would move it back. I love this. There is such intimacy involved with it, how we are connected without anyone else knowing. But I think I already said that. He has also started leaning into me when he talks to me, turning so that our arms are pressed together and we are looking directly into each other’s eyes. Again, loving that as well.

Have I mentioned that I like him lots? Have I? Because I do.

Anyway, to end my tale of Extreme Like at Karaoke, I bring you a meme that Teri did. You ask her to assign you a letter and you have to come up with 10 words that start with that letter to describe you. Beth did this for the letter “T” and I loved helping her come up with words.

When Beth asked us to help her at karaoke, Craig started throwing out unBethlike words – tapeworm and testicular cancer. I looked at him and said “Uh, these are supposed to describe Beth, not you.” Bryan also had a good comeback for him as well, as Beth documents – “No, this is about Beth. But I have a T word for you. Tourette’s Syndrome.”

Teri was going to assign me either the letters “Q” or “X” but instead she assigned me “J.” I wonder why. It’s not like one of my favorite things ever starts with a “J.” Anyway, if you think this is fun and want to do it yourself, leave a comment and I will assign you a letter.

J words that describe Dana:

Jubilee – A time or occasion of rejoicing but also one of the X-men. From the Superhero dictionary (and how freaking cool is that?) – “This young mutant has the ability to generate light-energy plasmoids that explode with tremendous force. This spunky teen fights evil whenever she is not in the mall.” Jubilee was not one of my favorite characters when I watched X-men but where else am I going to list my love of comic book characters and movies based on them? Plus, I love the definition of jubilee – I have noticed that life is so much more exciting for me since I’ve started taking Effexor. I’ve always been goofy and silly but now I enjoy being this way for myself. It’s not just to amuse others. Which I love to do. Why else do you think there are pictures of me with multiple birthday hats on my face if not to make people laugh?

Jamming –I have chosen this word to describe my love for music on a whole. I enjoy music so much that I will seriously get into it and have been told on several occasions that I shake the entire car with my enthusiasm for foot tapping. I can’t sleep without music, I love to have it in the background when I am scrapbooking with Beth or hanging out with her talking or whenever I’m in the car, preferably singing along (and Keem will say “Dana! No singing! You are not at karaoke!”). We be jamming now.

Jerk –Sometimes. I think everyone has the capacity to be jerk-like. I am occasionally selfish, have a tendency to interrupt people without even thinking about it, forget to say thank you (even though I am incredibly appreciative of things that people do for me, I very stupidly forget the magic words please and thank you) and I’m sure there’s other things I do. I try to work on these faults and I am glad that I have Beth and Keem to point out my aberrant behavior and also to model myself on because they are very cool and not jerky at all. Well, not always. They are bossy and won’t let me buy hair things which is very mean. There is no such thing as too many hair things (or books or anything they tell me I shouldn’t buy because they are practical).

Jotter – technically it’s a small notebook to jot down hurried handwritten notes but I also think that it describes my writing style. I’m definitely not a journalist, my writing tends to be very similar to how I talk – hurried and, well, kind of silly. But I like it. If only the rest of the world would recognize that Danaspeak is the way to go, I would be a famous author.

Jesus – No. I do not think I am Jesus. But I believe in Him and God and the Holy Spirit. I am more of a spiritual person than I am a religious one. Organized religion irritates me with all of the judging that goes on. I am not a judgmental person by any stretch of the imagination. Unless, of course, you are Hitler. Or George W Bush. Then I will judge you all I want, thank you. I really try to accept people for who they are. But sometimes I am a bitch and will decide I don’t like you because you think you are so cool. You know who you are (well, actually you probably don’t because you don’t read my blog which is good because you probably wouldn’t like my description of your singing quality, Theresa).

Jupiter – Roman counterpart of Zeus. And no, I don’t think I’m him, either. But I always enjoyed Greek, Roman and Norse mythology. I used to check out all of the mythology books from the library when I was younger. When watching movies/television shows based on these myths, I get very frustrated and have a tendency to scream at the screen “That’s not what happened!” I suppose I should give James, Dean and Matt less crap about relaxing and just enjoying the movie, even though it’s not completely accurate.

I’ve read Hawaiian myths, Japanese, etc. It’s funny, the creation story in many different myths is very similar to the one for Christianity. Hmm. I wonder if that could mean that all religions are connected in some way? And maybe we shouldn’t go around judging people for not being the same religion as us?

Juror – Someone who serves or waits to be called to serve on a jury. How hard is it to get called for jury duty? Both Keem and Jeff have been selected. I never have. I vote at every single election there is (well, it helps that our voting area for my district is in my apartment building) but no, the government doesn’t seem to want me. It is my civic duty, damn it! Why, yes, I am just going through the dictionary and selecting words, how did you guess?

Justifiable – I can justify anything. It may not be logical or factual but I feel that these things have no place in my world. Quite often you will hear me mention something and have Beth or Keem say “Uh, no, you mean this” and I will reply “Same thing” and they will say “No, it’s not the same thing, it’s not even close” and I will say “In my world it is. So there.” So maybe it’s not so much justifiable as it is slightly insane but insane doesn’t start with a “J.”

Jovial – I am amused by everything. I can sit and play with an air freshener until Keem tells me to stop batting it around. My imagination is such that I can entertain myself for hours by making up stories in my head (one of the reasons why I enjoyed mowing the lawn when I was a teenager, one of my scenarios involved the Dukes of Hazard coming to rescue me from my drudgery). I truly enjoy such movies as Saving Silverman or 8 Heads in a Duffle Bag. If you make me laugh enough, I will snort. I hate that. It’s so not dignified.

Plus, I’m fat. Fat people are jolly. It’s a law. Yes, yes, I’m kidding. Please don’t hit me. It makes my fat jiggle (Another “J” word!).

James – This needs no other explanation. Except I will give you what Beth wrote in her T post about our recaps of the evening at karaoke.

“Read as DM saying, “James this. James that. James, James, James, James… OMG, Did I? James, James, James…”

I would like to say I’m not that bad but, let’s face it, I am.

Good night all, it is almost time for me to go home so I’m going to spend some time working on cross stitch. Hope you have a lovely day.

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