So last Sunday, Beth and I went to karaoke. There was yet another annoying person who just had to sit with us (why? Why? We are good people! We don’t deserve this!).

When he first came over, he sat at the end of the table and mainly talked to Craig and Angie. No big deal. He seemed nice enough. Until, of course, the evening progressed. Angie, Craig, Amy and Dan all left.

Robert (Not Bob, he made that perfectly clear): Does anyone need a ride home?

Beth and I stare at him blankly.

B: What?
DM: Huh?
R: I’ve been drinking.

Okay, that makes even less sense. You’ve been drinking so why would we let you give us a ride home?

B: I drove myself.

A little later he asks if he can sit by Beth instead of at the end of the table.

R: It would make it easier to see who is singing.

Sure it would, Robert. That’s your only reason for wanting to sit by Beth. You keep telling yourself that. Beth nicely says yes.

He attempts to make conversation but he is not very good at it. The man is somewhat boring.

A woman comes over to our table and asks Beth and I if we know a song.

Woman: Do you know the song “Passionate Kisses?”
Beth and I: Yes. Sort of.
R: No but I’m all for them.
Woman (ignores him, says to Beth): Would you be willing to sing it?
B: I don’t think I know it well enough.
DM: I’m not even sure it’s in the book.

Apparently it is in the book because she sang it with her friend and Beth and I enjoyed singing along with it. I love that song. This also explains why it has been stuck in my head for close to six days now. I have caught myself singing it in the shower, in between phone calls and humming it to myself as I walk along. I have come very close to singing it to shareholders and that would just be bad (but very amusing to John when I keep telling him the song is still stuck).
Anyway, later on, Liz came in. Robert wandered off and Beth was telling her that Robert was making her somewhat nervous. Beth suggested that I sing “Addicted to Love.”

Liz: I wonder why she’s suggesting that. Hmm.

When I got back from singing, Liz told me that we were going to visit the bathroom one at a time so none of would be left at the table alone with Robert. I find out later that Robert asked Beth a question while I was singing.

R: Would you dance sexy to this song for me?
B (flat out, no qualms about hurting his feelings at all): NO.

Later on, I was scanning the song book, looking for something new to sing. I have always wanted to try Joan Jett and the Blackhearts’ song, “I Hate Myself For Loving You.” I like Joan Jett and find her music a challenge but fun to try. So I thought I would give it a shot. I’m not going to list the entire song lyrics but the chorus goes as so:

I hate myself for loving you
Can’t break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that’s why
I hate myself for loving you

Anyway, apparently while I was singing this, Robert (and I am imagining that he had a smug look on his face, not sure why, but I just do) says to Beth:

R: She hates me.
B: Uh, no, she doesn’t.

When Beth was singing, Robert tried to get me to talk to him.

R: So what do you do?
DM: I work for NABABNA Stock Transfer. Mainly I talk to old people about stock all day.
R: That sounds like a real turn on.
DM: It’s not.

Then I just turned back and watched Beth sing. He made other attempts to start conversations but we just ignored him, choosing to talk to Liz and James instead. Eventually Robert got the idea that we were extremely not interested and moved on to another table with these two semi-regulars.

And then he proved to me that he was not only not interesting at all but he was a complete jerk. Apparently he had called a cab. The cab driver walked in the Chalet and Bobby pointed him out to Robert.

R: Oh, I don’t know if I can trust him. He’s black.
Cab Driver: Well, that’s your decision, buddy.

The cab driver walks out the door. There’s a brief discussion between Robert and the girls that he is sitting with about how they could give him a ride home. Robert decides to take the cab.

Here are the things that I am surprised about:

I am surprised the cab driver waited for Robert. I would have left him there.
I am surprised that the girls Robert was sitting with offered him a ride. They are Asian. Robert has already indicated that he’s a jerk, even though he made his comment in what I’m sure he figured was a joking manner, it still wasn’t appropriate. If he’s a bigot about one race, I’m sure he’ll be one about another.

Hopefully we’ll never see Robert again, especially after this last Sunday, as I was telling Beth that I was writing a post about him, she told me this:

B: Oh! I forgot to tell you!
DM: What?
B: He asked me if you were a lesbian.
DM: What? Why?
B: Apparently the song you were singing had the word girl in it.
DM: So?
B: I know! He asked me and I just looked at him and said ‘No.’ And he said ‘That’s a valid question.’
DM: Because the song had the word girl in it.
B: Yeah. I was thinking ‘Dude, it’s karaoke. Who cares?’

While nobody has topped the Shrunken Head Man, I swear that these people keep getting stranger or more annoying. And yet, karaoke is still the highlight of my week.

Hope you all had a great weekend. I’ll be around to your blogs shortly. And yes, today is a bit better, the air conditioning is working in half of the building. We’re still busy though.

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