And then I agree to be interviewed for my company’s newsletter and read the finished product and everything is made clear. For your reading enjoyment, I bring you 30 seconds with Dana Vittum.

Our exclusive interview with the Self-Proclaimed Queen of the Universe. Here is but a brief glimpse into that universe.

Q. When did your involvement with NABABNA begin and how did you get to where you
are today?
A. Started on January 10th of 2000. I left the dark-side to come to NABABNA phone center, and I worked in the phone bank for 4 plus years and then I came to Stock Holder Services in October 2004, that’s how I got here.

Q. What do you like most about your job?
A. I like the variety, I like the fact that I am not being screamed at by people with overdraft fees, who don’t understand that its not bank error. I like customer service. Its really a big thing for me, and I want to provide good customer service. I find that here, I have the opportunity to do so, but there’s also enough variety that I’m not getting asked the same question over and over again.

Q. Are there any hobbies you’d like to share?
A. OH gee, let me think, uh, karaoke, Thursdays and Sundays, you’re all invited, Sundays are better. Scrapbooking…I have a blog, I scrapbook. Did I mention scrapbooking? I might have mentioned scrap booking, but that’s very important. I like to travel, I went to Portugal a couple years ago. So I like to do stuff, especially road trips, they’re great because they involve taking pictures and that means scrap booking! I also like to read transcripts of television shows.

Q. What’s your favorite cubicle decoration?
A. Oh gee hmm…Frogs! Lots and lots of frogs and those are actually, I call them green duckies because my friend Beth, who’s a friend of Kim and mine, went out around Christmas and I love rubber duckies cause you can sing the rubber duckie song, and so I saw those and I was all happy and I’m singing the song to myself and I turn and see big rubber duckie eyes but they were green and I’m like {gasp} ‘green
duckies!’ and then Beth said, ‘No, Dana, those are frogs.’ And then she left Mervyns cause she was laughing so hard.

Q. What is my cost basis?
A. Unfortunately NABABNA (thanks, Beth!) does not calculate cost basis, however if you need to order statements I can help you with that.

Q. What’s something other people don’t know about you?
A. That I’m shy. [When nervous] I have a tendency to babble and just throw a lot of information out there. That’s how I survive. A lot of people, when I say that I’m shy, say I seem to be the exact opposite. I am also the self-proclaimed Queen of the Universe, most people don’t know that, but I’m not insane. I promise. That’s something else people probably don’t know about me, that I’m not insane.

Q. When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?
A. A Super Friend, a gangster’s Moll, and a writer. I wanted to be a gangster’s Moll not because I wanted to rob banks but because I wanted to wear a polka-dot dress. I loved the 20’s, flappers and everything like that.

Q. Which Super Friend?
A I’m not sure but it had to be something to do with Aquaman and because I figured we were perfect for each other because I am a Pisces and he spoke fish, so it worked perfectly. But, you know, it never worked out.

Q. If you had 10 days to live and a million dollars, what would you do?
A. Go to Portugal. I love Portugal it was very European in feel, its not overly expensive. Kind of like Mexico, if you get can get money from somewhere else to live there its worth it. The people there are so friendly; I can’t tell you the amount of times people just came up and started talking to me in Portuguese because apparently I look Portuguese.

Q. Are there any additional pastimes other than the ones you already mentioned?
A. I’m addicted to the show Heroes you should watch it ‘cause its wonderful. Hiro is perfect, he’s Japanese, and he likes Karaoke and he quotes Star Trek, and he likes comic books. He’s just so perfect and he can stop time! That’s cool, I mean, that’s an awesome power. I like to read too, anything pretty much. Anything science fiction or fantasy, depends on the author. I like novels with dragons in them. Nora Roberts is my favorite author because she is a very suspenseful writer.

Note: Dana has more than 25 frogs in her cubicle.

If you haven’t guessed, they pretty much just put a tape recorder in front of me and let me babble. This is verbatim (well, other than the fact that I really don’t work for a bank called NABABNA).