Just hit him with a shovel, Dougal.
Shove him out the window, Joe.
Bury him in the back, Jack.
Make sure he’s got an insurance plan, Stan.

I could go on and on.

The reason for this mangling of 50 ways to leave your lover?

I call my sister today to tell her what I want for Christmas. The really cool George Foreman Next Grilleration with the 5 (FIVE!!) removable cooking thingies (I believe they are called plates but thingies also works and one of them is even a waffle maker which is very handy because I killed our waffle maker the other day). My bother-in-law (spelling deliberate) picks up the phone.

Eric: Pat got me a free ticket to the game.

The game, for of those of you whose entire life doesn’t revolve around football, would be a game between the Minnesota Vikings and someone else, possibly the Cardinals. I’m not sure what state the Cardinals are from. I only know about the Minnesota Vikings because I live in Minnesota.

This game takes place at noon and ends at 2 PM.

DM: Your point?
Eric: Why can’t you move tomorrow?
DM: Because they won’t let us in until Sunday.
Eric: But its a free ticket!
DM: Your point?
Eric: Kari! Your sister is on the phone.

I talk to Kari for a little bit. I tell her what I want. Fortunately she has also seen the commercial so I don’t have to be very technical (especially because I keep referring to it as the Grillinator).

Kari: Eric can’t help you move tomorrow.
DM: I heard.
Eric (in the background): I didn’t say I was going to go. I said I was thinking about it!
Kari: You can tell what his priorities are. Apparently football is more important than family.
DM: I guess so.

I personally think this is revenge for the fact that he left the room yesterday and Gina (his step-sister-in-law (? Well, if his Dad and Betty ever get married) turned the channel from football to HGTV and I wouldn’t let him change the channel back. He spent 3 hours watching various home makeover shows and was less than pleased.

There was also the comment I made later. That might have something to do with it.

Rob (Eric’s Dad): Where’s Eric?
Kari: I think he’s in the bathroom.
DM: No, he’s checking his reflection.

We all laugh. This occurs often. Eric is a tad vain.

DM: At least we know Eric will never become a vampire. He wouldn’t be able to check his reflection out.

We laugh harder.

Eric: Yeah, I’m not helping you move on Sunday. Make a smart-ass remark, get a smart-ass consequence.

He’ll be there. I know my sister. She can guilt anyone into doing what she wants.

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