I am a dork. You know it, I know it. It’s time for the entire world to know it.

Here is what I’ve managed to do so far this week (thankfully, it is Thursday, the week is almost over):

Throw up in my mouth (and then have to swallow it because the only place else it could go would be on the food I was carrying. The words you’re looking for here is “Ew, gross.” Believe me, I know).
Throw up through my nose (the burning acid reflux way).
Start falling asleep on Beth on Sunday night on the way home from karaoke (I’m sorry again, Beth).
Get left behind (not in the scary religious way or in the nice way that Sheryl encountered but by Keem when I overslept on Monday. And it’s not like she hasn’t warned me a hundred times before).
Almost get left behind again yesterday.
Slam the car door shut on my leg.
Get trapped in the car door with the stringy things that hang from my coat. I hate the stringy things.

I am sure that there is other stuff but I seem to have forgotten them all. Maybe I fell and hit my head.

Oh, yeah. I remembered.

Put my shirt on backwards.
Spend five minutes trying to figure out why a shirt that fit loosely before is suddenly choking me before I realized I put my shirt on backwards.
Realize I walked around like this for a good hour before I figured it out.
Spend another five minutes trying to figure out what I did with my work badge. Dig through my purse. Dig through my desk. Say to myself “Well, I know I had it this morning. I opened the door.”
Realize my badge is where I put it. On my shirt. I just can’t see it because I attached it to what I thought was the front of the shirt that morning.

Also, I was working on this today. Since we already discussed Scooby Doo, let’s move on to Star Trek. No, I don’t watch a lot of TV.

An Essay on Loving an Android
(Not Recommended)

As you may or may not know, one of my hobbies, if you will, is to read transcripts of television shows I have enjoyed. I started this with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, moved on to Angel and found myself searching out transcripts for CSI:, Lost and others. Recently I have been working my way through Star Trek: The Next Generation (or Star Trek: TNG as I like to refer to it) scripts.

My favorite Next Gen character has always been Data. I am fond of Worf, had a minor crush on Wesley and Barclay always amused me. But there is just something about Data.

I have mentioned before that, in the Star Trek universe, the character that I have the most affinity with is Captain Kirk. I even did a test once to prove it. We are both open to adventure, likely to jump into a new situation whole-heartedly (even before making sure that that exciting new planet has oxygen). I have made it clear that Spock is my least favorite character. The man is too logical and harshes buzzes.

So what is it about Data? He’s logical, has no emotion, is constantly spouting off facts and figures about why you shouldn’t do something. Why do I like him so much? And the answer is simple. Data wants to be able to feel. He wants to have emotion. He tries.

Today I finished reading one of my favorite episodes – In Theory. It took place in the 4th Season. An ensign, Jenna, decides to make a pass at Data. They start a relationship. He modifies his programming to be able to maintain a romantic relationship.

But it is doomed, of course. He is incapable of feeling. So while he is able to go through the motions, he doesn’t understand the whole point behind it.

One of the most touching scenes in the episode is when Jenna realizes that this will never work out. She tells him that she has learned from this, she got out of one relationship with an unemotional man to fall for a man incapable of emotion. Data says to her, as she is leaving his quarters “Jenna. Are we no longer…a couple?”

When she replies in the affirmative, he says “Then I will delete the appropriate program.”

Reading the episode brought some truths close to home for me. Jenna is a little flighty, not exactly neat, artistic and a lot like me. Data is logical, smart and very much like James. I have gone and made the same mistake Jenna did. I fell in love with an android.

So what do I do? Do I continue to pine after him, hoping that the day will come when he will insert an emotion chip and realize that I’ve always been the perfect one for him? Or do I, like Jenna, come to my senses and realize it will never happen? That it is better to just enjoy his friendship and forget about anything romantic?

I’m leaning towards the latter. And I’ll probably be able to keep this opinion. At least until I see him tonight.

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