Hi. I am alive. After my last post about the “manageable” hives, they all laughed hysterically and came back. By 12:30 I was in a cab on my way home. At about 3:30, the hives said “Hey, we’ve not done anything to really inconvenience her yet. Let’s attack.” That’s when my lips started swelling. But only the left side. The right side was normal. At 6:30, I was at Urgent Care, waiting for my doctor.

A prescription of Predis something or another later (steroid. I don’t now how to spell it. Predisone?) and a stop at Target where I apparently, in a pain-induced trance, managed to spend over 60 bucks on books (40 dollars on the nephew and Kari) and a $2 prescription, I spent the weekend itching. A lot. And redoing my laundry. No trip to LaCrosse for me. I also missed out on the party James threw Sunday but, quite frankly, I was not ready to be seen in public.

That’s pretty much it. I am only itchy in some places but I’m back at work and alive so what more can you ask for, right?

Below is the post I started about Beth and my trip to Wisconsin. Enjoy.

Do Not Get Eaten By a Bear

Beth picked me up at work and we were on our way to Wisconsin (several Fridays ago). I was wearing my “Road Trip USA” shirt which I love (except for hating the collar. When will I learn that I should only wear v-neck and cowl-neck collars? Anything close to the neck feels like it is choking me) as I had promised her. The journey to Waupun was enjoyable. There was a lot of giggling, and, as normal for us, strange conversations. For your enjoyment (and my blogging pleasure) I list them as follows:

DM (after something hit me in the head (possibly a spark from my cigarette)): Ow! Are there pygmies with darts?
B: Possibly. In Wisconsin, unlikely.

I started digging through my purse to find my notebook and pen. Unfortunately, I was unable to find my pen. Beth pulled hers out with a flourish and made a Ninja noise.

One of us: It’s a Ninja pen!
***
DM: Snort, snort, snort. Hee, hee, hee!

I was amused by this very tiny little Cat machine. I don’t know what they do but I want one.
***
DM: This is the best road trip ever! There are cows & buffalos & horsies!

A flock of birds fly over us.

B: And birds.
DM: Yay!

I clap in enthusiasm.

B: You clapped.
DM: Yay!

I clap again.

DM: I just clapped for my claps.
***
Beth (to someone who is driving incredibly wrong in front of her): Why are you braking? Why?

We pass the car.

B: Oh. Because you’re old. Now I get it.

A few moments later, the old people decide to pass us.

B: Now the old people are passing me. You’re going to pass all the people who passed you. Ooooooh (makes scary hand motion as if she is a ghost).
DM (snorts): Stop it! I can’t write that fast!

A few moments later.

B: I passed the old people! Blllllhhhh! Raspberries to you!
***
We pass road work signs that have boards across them where there would normally be words explaining that there is road work.

B: There’s no road work. It bothers me that those aren’t absolutely symmetrical (the boards). If you’re going to do something, do it right! That’s what’s wrong with our infrastructure!
DM: Don’t look at my bookmarks (I have issues when it comes to cutting in a straight line. I’m working on it. But dang it, they are charmingly askew! Just like me). You would think they would just take the signs down.
***
Johnny Lang is playing. The song is either “School Girl” or “Hey, there, little School Girl” or something else. But it is hot.

B: If you’re bad in bed and you dress like a school girl, do they send you out into the hall? Do you have to go to the principal’s office?
DM: Wait! Wait!
***

DM: I want to play with the fire.
Laurie (Beth’s Mom): Okay.
B: After the food. You should eat before you get 3rd degree burns.
L: But we have aloe.

She gestures to the aloe plant sitting on the picnic table. I reach for my notebook.

B: Now she’s not going to let us talk until she writes this down.
***

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