Carol Vittum proudly announces the wedding of her daughter, Dana Marie Vittum, to Jamie Something or Another Jones (because he’s too afraid to have his real name on here, in case someone Googles him. Wimp).

The couple work together at NABABNA and decided to get married when Ms. Vittum proposed (and I quote) by saying “Jamie, I have decided we should get married. I want to get married before I die. You can still date.”

The couple will continue to reside in their separate domiciles since Ms. Vittum wishes to “be married but not actually live with someone (except Keem (and Eddy))”. They will be married by Bryan McDonald, atheist preacher and karaoke host. Big ticket items such as Plasma televisions and El Caminos are requested as wedding gifts.

The date is set for sometime in the future. Perhaps at Como Zoo, even though Mr. Jones seems to think that because he is a bigwig at the Minnesota Zoo, the wedding should take place there. Ms. Vittum scoffs at this.

Please join us in our celebration of a marriage of convenience.