To put it simply, yesterday I ended up in a co-worker’s office crying. A lot of things have led up to this:

  • I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m still a little stuffed up and that has an effect on how well the CPAP works. It takes longer for me to fall asleep and I keep waking up because I can hear myself breathing and it’s very annoying.
  • We’ve been very busy at work. Thursday Jessica and I had to get ready for a conference call with another group and I got really behind because I was distracted by my co-workers. I felt like I had let Jessica down because she had to work harder to help me catch up. Fortunately she had made a mistake about the time of the meeting so we had another hour.
  • During the conference call, it became apparent that the other group seems to think that their job is just sooo difficult and that Jessica and I have nothing else to do but answer every single question they have instead of them reading the handouts that have been prepared for them. Believe me, you haven’t lived until you hear someone say “Well, how am I possibly supposed to know that?” You respond with “Did you check this?” And their response is “Why can’t you just tell me?” Unfortunately you can’t shout at them “Do your frickin’ job, you moron!” People frown on that.
  • Meanwhile, during the time we were getting ready for the conference call, several catastrophes took place and messages were sent to our Intranet site (a resource library for reps, part of my job is updating it). When the meeting was over, I pulled up my email to find a total of 15 messages in the library inbox & 25 in my own inbox. Yay!
  • Since I’d been sick since Christmas, I hadn’t been able to spend much time with Beth so I really looked forward to seeing her Thursday night. Going to karaoke with her and seeing James & Liz was a lot of fun but I had the worst time falling asleep when I got home. I stared at the clock until about 4:00, woke up at 5:00, 6:00 and 7:00. Keem woke me up at 7:45. I was so tempted to call in sick but told myself no!
  • Cheryl asked me to go to a meeting at 1 PM because of a crisis that took place this week with one of our new companies. I hate meetings. I get why they are important but honestly, if I could, I’d rather stay at my desk and do my work without having to talk to anyone. Plus, I was so tired at this point, I knew staying awake in the meeting would be difficult.
  • Kari had left me a message Thursday night and I didn’t get it until it was too late to call her. So I called her Friday and left me a message. She called me back and told me my Aunt Rita had passed away, Uncle Jerry’s wife and my godmother.
  • I flagged Cheryl down and told her. She asked me if I wanted to go home and I said no, I’d be fine.

Heh. Yeah, that was a mistake.

About 15 minutes later, I was wandering around, trying to find Cheryl and trying to keep the tears from pouring down my face. I had heard she was in the other Jessica’s office (first there were the two Cheryls, now I have two Jessicas. Sigh. This Jessica is a manager, the other Jessica also works in the Quality department with me). She wasn’t. Manager Jessica is one of the most beautiful women I know – not just because she’s gorgeous but because she’s so sweet and funny. She right away knew something was wrong (possibly the heavy sigh I let out when I slumped into the chair next to her desk gave it away, I don’t know).

With a sob, everything came pouring out.

DM: My aunt died and I’m really tired and I haven’t been sleeping and I’m so busy and kind of overwhelmed and I know it’ll get better but it just doesn’t seem to be stopping with the busy and some of my co-workers are so loud and I can’t concentrate and…

Her face was so sympathetic.

DM: And I found a dead squirrel in the parking ramp.
MJ: What?
DM: He was just lying there. His tail was over his head and it made me sad. I like squirrels.

Jessica bursts into laughter. It makes me smile.

DM: I asked Keem if he would frolic again in Heaven. She said yes.
MJ: Are you going to be okay?
DM: Yeah. I think I just need to go home and get some sleep.

I found Cheryl and let her know I had to go home. She was very understanding. I do not think I told her about the squirrel. I might have (I had this awesome post started about how tragedy struck the parking ramp and now I’ve ruined it but these things happen).

Anyway, I’m doing better now. I did get a little sleep yesterday. The funeral is Monday morning where we’ll be saying goodbye to both Uncle Jerry and Aunt Rita (he wanted to be cremated and his ashes will be buried with her (which is sweetly romantic to me)).

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