One of my co-workers sent this to me this morning.  I don’t know if this actually is a Jeff Foxworthy thing but it could be.  And it is very true.

Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by – You might live in Minnesota (Okay, I personally think this is insane).

If you’re proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation – You might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March – You might live in Minnesota (Actually the Dairy Queen is open.  It’s the A&W that’s closed seasonally).

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time – You might live in Minnesota (I don’t actually wear shorts but I have worn capris and my heavy coat at the same time).

If you know how to say Wayzata (Why-zetta), Mahtomedi (Mah-toe-me-die), Cloquet (Clo-kay), Edina (Eee-dye-na) and Shakopee (Shock-oh-pee) – You might live in Minnesota.

If vacation means going “up north” for the weekend – You might live in Minnesota (Done it when I’ve gone to Brainerd for the weekend before.  Not for many years but it’s been there).

You measure distance in hours – You might live in Minnesota (I didn’t even realize I’ve done this before but I will typically say “It’s about 15 minutes” as opposed to “It’s about 5 miles.”

You know several people who have hit deer more than once – You might live in Minnesota.

You often switch from “Heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again – You might live in Minnesota (Or, in my case, you keep the air conditioning on throughout the winter).

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching – You might live in Minnesota (fortunately I don’t know anyone who is that big of any idiot).

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events – You might live in Minnesota (oh, dear God, no).

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked – You might live in Minnesota (maybe in the 70’s).

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison – You might live in Minnesota (No, Hell no and no).

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them – You might live in Minnesota (I even know how to use jumper cables and I’ve never had a car).

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill’s Fleet Farm at any given time – You might live in Minnesota (Don’t spend that much time at the Farm but probably true).

You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit – You might live in Minnesota (ruins a good costume if you have to wear your coat over it).

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow – You might live in Minnesota (true).

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction – You might live in Minnesota (they forgot Mosquito season).

You can identify a southern or eastern accent – You might live in Minnesota (can’t everybody?).

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce – You might live in Minnesota (personally I prefer pink flamingos).

If “Down South” to you means Iowa – You might live in Minnesota.

You know “a brat” is something you eat – You might live in Minnesota (I had brats this weekend.  Yum).

You find -10 degrees “a little chilly” – You might live in Minnesota (depends on what time of the year it is (if we’ve had a cold snap of minus 30 degrees for a week or more at a time, then yes, minus 10 is “a little chilly.”)

You actually understand these jokes – You DO live in Minnesota (or Wisconsin).

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