Today Beth and I spent a lot of time scrapbooking. We also met Char for dinner at Texas Roadhouse. As always, when Beth and I spend time together, there are some weird things being said. And yes, usually they are from me.

*******************
I was telling Beth about Co-Worker Rykken’s response when I said I didn’t understand why Bryan was not famous and Nickelback was. Rykken had said “I often wonder about that myself.” Rykken has never heard Bryan sing but understands the evilness that is Nickelback (for one thing, I hate the way their name is spelled because I always want to type Nickleback. That just makes more sense).

DM: I don’t know why I hate them so much.
Beth: I don’t know, maybe because they’re no talen hacks who have tortured all of America. And at least some parts of Canada. I think they’re from Canada. So probably all of Canada.

**********************
I have just completed a layout for my Portugal album (only 2 1/2 years after the trip, of course).

DM: Pretty. Pretty pages. Pretty.

I may have been stroking them gently.

Beth: Okay, that was weird.

**********************
We have gone to Texas Roadhouse. Our waiter has taken our order for appetizers and walked away.

Char leans over to Beth and says

Char: I may be wrong but I think our waiter might be gay.
DM: For a young ‘un.

Beth and Char stare at me blankly.

DM: Eh. I’d do him.

Beth and Char start laughing hysterically.

DM: You didn’t say he was cute, did you?

***********************
Beth looks at me sternly.

Beth: Did you put socks on today?

Char almost spits out her pop.

Beth: That sounded kind of weird, didn’t it (or motherly or something)?

Char looks confused.

DM: I don’t like to wear socks.

Our waiter walks up.

DM: I don’t believe in Winter.
Waiter: Okay.
DM: Tries to explain in a rational manner. Fails.

See, the thing is, if I wear socks, that means I am acknowledging Winter’s exhistence. And I like to pretend the son of a bitch doesn’t exhist. It doesn’t work very well.

Char: Is that like not believing in fairies?
DM: I believe in fairies. Just not Winter.

************************
Beth orders a baked potato with her meal. She asks for the butter and sour cream on the side. I also order a baked potato and ask for the potato to be loaded but want the butter and sour cream on the side. The waiter looks at me. I feel that I need to explain.

DM: I like to eat the cheese and bacon first.
Beth: I don’t think you needed to explain your dining habits.
Waiter: I don’t think that’s crazy.

It is obvious he is lying from his expression. This is revealed when I return from the bathroom and found out that he told Beth and Char that he thought not believing in Winter was a little nuts.

*************************
We come back to Beth’s to scrapbook. Char is going to hang out with us for a little while. I am becoming frustrated with a page layout. I am staring at the paper trimmer, trying to figure out measurements (never a good thing).

DM: Are these real inches?
Char: No. they’re fake inches. They’re posers.

I hold up the piece of paper I am trying to trim.

DM: Well this is 8 inches, right?
Beth: I don’t know.
DM: Well, it’s supposed to be 8 inches. It’s 8 1/2 x 11 inch paper.
Beth: Then it is 8 1/2 inches.

I realize what I have just said. Beth and Char laugh hysterically. Beth hands me her pencil.

Beth: Write that down.

***********************
DM: I am being mocked again, aren’t I?
Beth: Rightfully so.
Char: You’d think you’d recognize it by now, it happens so often.

**********************
It has been a good weekend. And now I am headed home. Hope you had a good weekend.

Advertisements