Last night the demon spawn also known as Kalli came into the kitchen as I was sweeping the floor.  She leapt up onto my back and used me as a springboard to reach the counter.  There she sat and stared at me for awhile.  Since it was a welcome change from her trying to “help” me sweep (which involved sprawling in the middle of the floor or attacking the broom or deciding to bounce a ball right through the dust pile), I decided not to worry about it.  She was just sitting there and not causing trouble.

Yeah.  Right.  I turned my back for two seconds and suddenly heard a scrabbling noise.  I turn quickly and the next words out of my mouth are:

DM:  Kalli!  No!  We do not climb on the toaster!

Fortunately I managed to get her down before she managed to electrocute herself.  I haven’t figured out why she thought the toaster was the best place to perch but I’ve learned not to turn my back on her for very long.

It reminded me of going with a friend to get her hair cut.  While this was happening, she asked me to watch her small child.  Small child was probably about 3 years old and was given Mom’s keys to play with.  I figured she was entertained enough so I could read my book.  I was wrong.  Next thing I know, I hear the hairdresser shout “No, honey!” And turn around to see the small child has taken one of the keys and inserted it into an electrical outlet.  The words “Holy F**k” came to mind.

The hairdresser knocked the keys out of the outlet with a broom and there was no harm done, unless you count the shower of sparks that came with it. 

And this is why I should never be left alone with small children.  I have a tendency to forget about them once I get engrossed in a book.

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