In other words, a post of things that irritate me, make me say WTF and have made me giggle.

Let’s the start with the irritants, shall we?  Did I mention there would be bullet points?  Bullet points are fun!

  • Kalli has started urinating in non-approved areas.  After doing some research, it appears that this is due to the fact that she is going through the cat version of puberty.  Which would explain the general bitchiness and the “Don’t touch me, I hate you” cries that we get on occasion.  The accusations of neglect (because, you know, we’re mean and cruel and don’t feed her), the sulking, the hair styles we can’t figure out…all explained.  Kalli’s a teenager.
  • We need to get her spayed.  While the chances of her running into a non-neutered cat in our apartment is slim to none, I, like Bob Barker, believe that your pets should be spayed and/or neutered.  But do you have any idea how much it costs to do this?  We’re looking at $355 so far being the cheapest (she needs shots as well).  We are debating getting her declawed but the more I read about it, the more I think I don’t like the idea.  Granted, apparently they use a laser nowadays which is just kind of awesome (because lasers are cool) but still, she’s not much on the scratching of furniture.
  • Humans are another story.  I don’t know if I ever mentioned that she likes to knead.  So she’ll climb up on to either Kim’s or my arm and start kneading like crazy, tiny little claws puncturing your skin.  And then she licks you while she’s kneading.  And apparently I may have a slight allergy to her saliva because my arm is one inflamed mass of scabs and general ouch.  And last night, when Kari was putting a couch cover on our couch, Kalli thought this was a game and hid about halfway up the back of the couch and removed a nice chunk of Kari’s skin.
  • I am sick.  Again.  I am so sick of it (pun intended).  I really didn’t want to come to work today but I told myself to not be a wimp.  Mainly I’m just coughing on occasion and feel a little dizzy but other than that, I’m okay.  The one good thing about this?  Walgreens  has cough drops that are flavored like Dad’s Root Beer.  You would not think that Root Beer and Menthol are a good flavor combination but they work.
  • I am sure I am irritated by other things because, hello, it is Monday and I am always cranky on Monday but I can’t think of anything else yet.

Things that make you go WTF?

  • How did NickelBack get on my iPod?  In what universe would I actually download something by NickelBack?  I hate them so very much.
  • Speaking of  iPods, Kari’s iPod is being given to my mother and so I ended up with some of Kari’s purchased music.  It’s Raffi and some annoying bunch of children singing nursery rhymes.  So you’ll be jamming out to some music and all of a sudden some kid is saying “Five Little Speckled Frogs” and it’s kind of creepy.  Usually I skip past this quickly but there’s this one Raffi song that I kind of enjoy.  Okay, that’s a lie.  I like it a lot.  It’s “This Old Man” and it’s funny and bouncy and I listened to it this morning and then listened to it again.  What the heck is happening to me?
  • I’m in the bathroom at work this morning and glance over at the stall wall (which rhymes!).  There is something on the wall.  It appears that someone has decided to pick their nose and wipe it on the wall.  Who does this kind of thing?  I mean, really, right? 
  • And this makes me think of a former “friend” of mine who actually did this and then thought it was hilarious that I accidently bumped up against the wall and then got his “boogers” all over my “fat ass.”  Yeah.  Apparently he was 30 going on five.  Surprisingly enough, we haven’t been friends in years. 
  • I am muttering to myself in indignation and taking a piece of toilet paper to remove this obscenity when I realize it’s a feather.  I think there’s a moral to this somewhere but don’t know what it is.

And that which made me giggle incessently:

  • Keem and I rented “Mama Mia” last night on Comcast.  SO VERY CUTE!  I love musicals, of course, and also adore ABBA so we were having a great time singing along.
  • Kalli’s sudden change in her way of expressing her affection to Eddy.  Before it was “Hello!  Let me climb all over you and steal your treats and attempt to eat your head because I want to PLAY!”  Now it is “Hello, sailor.  Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?  Do you know how to whistle, Eddy (my cat has turned into Mae West)?”  She’s making these little purring noises at him and taking his face into her paws and rubbing her cheeks up against him.  Eddy is backing away in horror, of course, with a look that says “Listen Lady, I don’t know what you want but you’re not getting from me!”
  • Miss Melissa sent this to me the other day and I absolutely love it.


Save the llamas, people!

And in other news:

It’s Tuesday now.  I’m at home because Keem got the flu.  In other words,  I couldn’t get a hold of anyone this morning to get a ride into work and unfortunately our shiny new building is not on a bus line.  It’s probably just as well that I was home, I was able to fetch water and Sierra Mist for the sickee and also feed the cats so they would stop harrassing her (Kalli gets loud when she feels she hasn’t had enough to eat.  It’s a wonder that she doesn’t weigh 400 pounds).  The thing that sucks about this is I have Friday off but have to give back the time because I have way too much to do this month and I’m behind.  While we’re working on making my job easier, it is a work in progress.

The dentist does not accepts felines as payment but a) did not yell at me and b) was seriously and totally hot.  Also very young and was probably still in high school the last time I went to a dentist.  But oh well, still, he looks like Greg from CSI: and even made me laugh a couple of times.  I have a dentist appointment on the 17th, let me rephrase that, I have two appointments on the 17th, one at 10 and the other at 4 because apparently I have a pretty small mouth (my mother would be surprised to hear that) and he’s worried about filling my 6 or 7 cavities in one appointment.  So we’re splitting it up but because I have to take the entire day off just to go to the dentist, we’re going to do it in one day.  And then, because I am so very lucky, I get to go to a specialist and talk about the peridontal disease I have or am in the first stages about.  And then I get to have the ultrasonic scaler!  The joy!  The rapture!  The absolute pain.  I may ask for nitrous oxide for that.

In two days, I had to explain why my personal email address  is greenduckiesgirl AT comcast DOT net.  The first time was at the dentist office and the second time was when Kari and I wandered into Northwestern Book Store.

Kari:  Why are we here?
DM:  Because there are books.
Kari:  So?
DM:  I need to find a book.  I can not leave a book store without buying a book, Kari.  That’s unheard of.

I did find a book, a joint effort by Frank Perretti (I really like the couple of books I’ve read by him and named a cactus Mr. Perretti after him) and Ted Dekker, both writers of paranormal suspense and horror that just happens to also be religion based.  It was called “House” and it creeped the hell out of me.  I had to flip to the back of the book to find out what happened before I could read any more.  Long story short, demons and a serial killer trap this couple in an abandoned house and they have to find their way out.  Will they survive?  It took me a long time to be able to sleep Sunday night.

Anyway, the woman asked me to sign up for their email newsletter and said she loved how creative people are with their email addresses.

Kari:  My email address is my name.  I’m not very creative.
DM:  I think we’ve established who the creative one in this family is.  And by creative, I mean insane.

The woman told us a story about her son who is home schooled and somewhat bizarre (not because he’s home schooled, just one of those creative types that are never understood (Which I understand)).  Anyway, she picked him up from a study group and he came out to the car with pink and yellow post it notes up and down his arms.

Woman:  Why?
Son:  I’m a bird.

And then he began flapping his arms.  I burst out laughing and said I’ll have to try that someday.  I then shared the story of how I was trying to convince Beth to let me use her hedge trimmer (failed) and then gathered the small hedge trimmings.  I held up a few by my face and said “Look!  I’m a bush!”

Kari:  Sometimes I wonder how we’re related.

Hope you all had a good weekend and that you are not sick.  Sick is bad.