I bring you this Literary Meme, provided to us by Ms. Stinkypaw.  She hails from Canada and can read books in French (which is terribly exciting, don’t you think?)!  As always, I don’t expect anyone to do this but if you do, please leave a comment.  I love to know what other books people are reading.

 What author do you own the most books by?
Nora Roberts.  She is my favorite author.  There are very few authors who can do descriptions, dialogue and character development (I am only good at dialogue, unfortunately) and she does it every time.  I’ve been reading her for years and really like her later books, once she broke away from Silhouette.  Her books are still considered romantic but they’re also suspenseful and I love that!  After that, I’d say Dean Koontz but he’s usually hit or miss (example – Tick Tock?  Awesome.  Your Heart Belongs to Me?  Lame).

2. What book do you own the most copies of?
The Stand by Stephen King.  It’s one of my favorite books.  If I see it at a garage sale, I always end up buying it.  I think I have 5.  For those of you that have seen Conspiracy Theory, think of it as being my Catcher in the Rye.  Except I’m not sure how the black helicopters are going to find me since I don’t buy it at book stores.  But they’re tricky, those black helicopter pilots.

3. Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Yes, sort of but that’s not something I completely obsess over.  I do love my grammar and will try to not end sentences in prepositions but sometimes you can’t help it.

4. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Oh, that’s easy.  Roarke from the Eve Dallas books.  He’s her husband and he was a former criminal that reformed when he fell in love with a homicide cop.  However, he’s still got that dangerous side and can be considered a bad boy.

5. What book have you read the most times in your life?
Probably Kane and Able by Jeffrey Archer.  I am pretty sure I read it over 12 times.  The Prodigal Daughter by Jeffrey Archer about 10 times.  These are great books.  I also love to reread Nora Roberts books and just reread the Begariad Series by David Eddings.  I love rereading books; it lets you revisit old friends.

 6. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
I really don’t know.  This may sound like I’m bragging (I’m not) but in 4th grade, I was reading at a 12th grade level and there was talk of moving me to the 5th grade (however, I was doing horrible in math so no skipping grades for me).  I think I was really into Shakespeare and mythology at that time.  I still adore Shakespeare but prefer to read the translated versions – Old English is HARD!  And above all, I’d rather watch it performed.  It’s like opera; I don’t care that the words are in another language as long as I’m watching it.

 7. What is the worst book you’ve read?
I’d like to say it was Twilight but since I lost the copy lent to me, I can’t honestly say that’s so.  I tried reading it because I felt I couldn’t irrationally hate a book if I haven’t read it (but yet I can irrationally hate Ryan Seacrest and Taylor Swift (and her hair)) but honestly, did not get far.  If I hadn’t lost it, I might still be choking through it right now.

 The worst book I ever read was called Soap Opera by Eileen Fulton.  I don’t know why I thought it would be good (maybe because I enjoyed Soap?) but decided to give it a shot.  It was horrible.  The main character spent most of her time bemoaning the fact that she slept with her fiancé before they got married.  After all, that made her a slut, you know.  Oh, and then he went insane and started stalking her so they never got married.  Good Lord.  I have this curse where I have to finish reading a book once I started it but let me tell you, I was really displeased with it (Twilight doesn’t count because I lost the book). 

8. What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?

You know, I started this list of books that I’ve read this year and I suck at keeping it up.  I would have to say one of my favorites was InkHeart by Cornelia Funke.  I loved it.  If you have ever dreamt about being able to enter your favorite book, you’ll enjoy it as well.  I also really liked the movie and it was exciting to know she created the main character based on Brendan Fraser.  I adore him.

 Speaking of being able to enter your favorite books, you may enjoy Jasper Fforde Thursday Next books.  They are hilarious.  I’m also rereading the Hitchhiker Guide to the Universe series again by Douglas Adams.   I like the funny!

9. If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
I’m not a tagger, sorry.  Keem is constantly calling me a book pusher because I get excited about books and then tell her she should read them.  Also, I really think what I like is not going to be the same thing that someone else likes.  Now, if you want recommendations, I’m happy to give them.  Give me a genre and I’m sure I’ve got a book for you.  And this does include paranormal romance, by the way.

10. Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for literature?
Again, what I like is not the same as what everyone else likes.  Nobel Prize literature books are typically too dark and depressing for me.  I love to read but it is for amusement mainly.  It’s kind of like movies – I’m not a drama person, I prefer comedies and action (best movies are ones that make me laugh and things blow up in them).  Beth will typically make me watch dramas with her and I’ll enjoy them but they’re not something I seek out on my own.

11. What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
This is hard.  I know most people don’t like the movie versions of their favorite books but I’m usually able to suspend disbelief and accept the changes (example – Harry Potter Goblet of Fire.  Much as I love Quidditch, I knew it wasn’t possible to have the giant Quidditch match they had, the movie would be three times as long).  I loved InkHeart the movie even though there were changes to it.  I loved Ella Enchanted (but I saw the movie first before I read the book). 

Uh, let’s go with the Eve Dallas books.  I know there was talk they were going to be made into a movie at one point.  I want to see who they get to play Roarke.

12. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
How about Soap Opera?  Since it was the dumbest book in the world, it would probably be the worst movie ever.  Although that Sally Field/Kevin Kline soap movie was pretty funny.  Not that I can remember the name.

13. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
Not a clue.  Well, let’s rephrase that, I have a clue but I’m not sharing.  Let’s just say that it involved my crush on Snape and Oliver Wood from the Harry Potter books.

14. What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

Stinkypaw said it best – “I read for my pleasure, not to please others.”  I don’t care if you don’t like my choice in literature.  I read what makes me happy.  I love books about vampires.  I love young adult books.  I like fantasy novels.  I love chick lit (but only if it is well written).  I love Shakespeare.  I love Douglas Adams and Neil Gaiman and Stephen King.

15. What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

What Came Before He Shot Her – Elizabeth George.  Remember when I said that once I’ve started a book, I have to finish it?  This was horrible.  It’s described as the anatomy of a murder and involves these three kids who are abandoned by their grandmother (mom’s in an insane asylum) and dumped with their aunt who really tries to help them but is completely overwhelmed.  It was the most depressing book I have ever read.  I would not recommend it to anyone – not because it was a bad book but it made me so sad and horrified and appalled.  I wanted to gather up these children and save them.  And unfortunately, I could not.

Other than that, I would say The Shining by Stephen King.  It took me 3 years to read this book.  I would start it, get freaked out and stop reading it.  I’d return a couple of months later; get freaked out again and stop reading it. 

16. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean.  I think you either love Shakespeare or don’t.  Either way, it’s not a big deal.  The community college I went to would put on Shakespeare plays during the summer and I adored going to them when I was younger.  It was awesome.  Although I much prefer the comedies.

17. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Why do I need to have a preference?  This strikes me as book snobbery because I know this is referring to “The Classics” and what I consider a classic is not the same as everyone else.  For example, I loved Jane Eyre but hated Wuthering Heights.  I’ve never read any Voltaire that I remember and I certainly have no desire to read War and Peace.

18. Roth or Updike?
Wow.  How absolutely descriptive.  Again with the book snobbery.  I know Updike is John Updike but who is Roth?  Phillip Roth?  I believe I read a short story by him once and didn’t care for it.  Also, just for the record, I don’t like Ernest Hemingway either.

19. David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?

I love David Sedaris.  Beth purchased the audio books and listening to him read his stories makes me laugh hysterically.  I also found Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim in my laundry room and found that reading Six to Eight Black Men and Nuit of the Living Dead is just as funny as listening to him read it (but for some reason I always call it “Louie of the Living Dead.”).  Dave Eggers?  Who is that?

20. Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?

Shakespeare is my favorite.  Milton irritates me.  Chaucer is impossible to read but if you have the translations from Old English, it is pretty funny.

21. Austen or Eliot?

Okay, again, book snob that created this meme, I understand you’re referring to Jane Austen but which Eliot?  I’m assuming you mean George Eliot.  Honestly?  Haven’t really read either.  I would assume I like Jane Austen.

22. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Wow.  I wasn’t aware that I had any gaps in my reading but since you think so, I must throw myself off of the nearest bridge.  Good freakin’ Lord.   If anything, it would probably be that I taught myself how to read and so I pronounce things incorrectly.  And it’s not so much embarrassing as funny, thanks so much.

As for gaps, well, you may think I’m missing out because I don’t like Hemingway but have you ever read anything by Carol Goodman?  The Lake of Dead Languages was fascinating. 

23. What is your favorite novel?
How much time do you have?  The aforementioned Kane and Able and The Prodigal Daughter by Jeffrey Archer.  Most of Nora Roberts’s novels.  A few things by Meg Cabot.  David Eddings – The Belgariad, The Mallorean and the Elenium series.  Oh and the Tamuli series as well.  Douglas Adams – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe.  Dave Barry – Big Trouble.  Charlotte Bronte – Jane Eyre.  Jasper Fforde – The Eyre Affair (and other Thursday Next books).  Mil Millington – Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About (but I also liked A Certain Chemistry).  I also enjoy movie novelisations and transcripts of television shows.  I’ve also been known to read the back of cereal boxes and upside down newspapers when my mom wouldn’t let me read at the table.  In other words, I love to read.  So very much.

24. Play?
Shakespeare – The Tempest.  Oscar Wilde – The Importance of Being Earnest.  Goldsmith – She Stoops to Conquer. 

Favorite Play I’ve Been In?  I’m torn between You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown (I played Snoopy and believe me when I tell you I was awesome), Stout-Hearted Men (the man-hating Miss Hatchett, again, I was awesome) and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (was in it twice, fairly small parts.  Not the best soloist, this girl).

25. Poem?
I like some poetry, not all.  I was in Speech one year in High School and was the Extemperaneous Poetry person (which means that I got to draw a poem out of a hat and then get a half hour to interpret it.  Then I would read it and was scored on how well I read it.  Yeah, makes no sense to me either but it was close enough to being on stage to make sure I did pretty well. 

These are some of my favorites from the poetry book they had us read from:

 Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost
This Is Just to Say by William Carlos Williams
I Am Not Yours by Sara Teasdale

They are short but all three are beautiful.  Plus, they don’t really rhyme.  I am not a fan of the rhyming poem. 

26. Essay?
See question on David Sedaris for answer.

 27. Short story?
Hands down, it is Word Processor of the Gods by Stephen King but I love short stories.  I really love Regency Christmas short romantic stories (again, don’t know why, I guess it is just how I roll).

28. Work of non-fiction?
Mythology.  Technically it is in the Non-Fiction section of the library/bookstore.  I think my favorite biography was the one about Meat Loaf but I also enjoyed The Rock’s as well. 

29. Who is your favorite writer?
Nora Roberts.  But I love a lot of different authors.

30. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Dan Brown.  The research is good, the idea of the plots are intriguing but I’m sorry, two page chapters that keep ending in cliff hangers?  Really?  Not very convincing.  Or James Patterson.

31. What is your desert island book?
Uh, the complete works of Shakespeare?  If I only get one book, I’m not going.  I don’t know how the people on Lost handle it.

32. And … what are you reading right now?
I am re-reading “An Ice Cold Grave” by Charlaine Harris (better know for the Southern Vampire novels that True Blood are based on).  I am also reading a book Beth’s mom picked up for me – it was free since Harlequin is celebrating their 60th anniversary.  Fortunately it is one of the Intrigue novels (their mystery series) but it is sort of annoying.  It’s called Crime Scene at Cardwell Ranch and I have no idea what’s going on.  Well, okay, there was a skeleton found in a well but the Ranch is being sold and there’s all this tension between the heroine and the hero and she’s also ticked off at her folks but the author hasn’t bothered to let us know why.  That is irritating.  I’m only on page 60 so I hope it’ll get better.

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