Because Beth had Veteran’s Day off, we decided to go to a movie. We have been avidly looking forward to seeing the newest George Clooney movie, "The Men Who Stare at Goats."

Beth picked me up and we drove to Carmike Oakdale 20. As always, we proved that I should not be in charge of directions because I told her to take 694 instead of 494. This was not correct. Apparently that number in front of the highway name is fairly important. Fortunately, we were able to turn around fairly quickly and made it to the theater in time to see the advertisements and previews.

The first preview was for a new Mel Gibson movie (snore). At first I thought it was going to be the sequel to "What Women Want" (which, if you ask me, is not Mel Gibson (or, for that matter, Helen Hunt (she annoys me)) but it turns out that Mr. Gibson is a cop and his daughter is killed. I’m not giving away the plot here because that’s revealed in the first 10 seconds of the trailer. Mr. Hard-Nosed Cop decides to find out why his daughter was killed and meets Mysterious Guy. They exchange some vaguely hard-nosed and mysterious sentences and then Mel is on the run, trying to get to the bottom of things. He’s being attacked, things are blowing up, etc. Then he says it:

Mel: You had better decide whether you’re hangin’ on the cross… or bangin’ in the nails.

Beth and I both burst into laughter because that’s just the most ridiculous line ever. There was also a group of men in the front of the theater that started laughing as well. I am thinking that the writers of this movie were probably not expecting that reaction. But hello, every line in this trailer was pure cliché. Especially when Mel’s using his grating, "I am a macho, embittered man who has nothing to lose (which he says at one point as well) because my daughter is dead" voice. Later, when we were still laughing over this, Beth said the movie should be called "The Cliché" instead of "Edge of Darkness."

The previews for "2012" and "Avatar" play. Beth and I agree that they both seem stupid but John Cusack is still pretty cute. Not cute enough to see 2012 for, unfortunately.

The next preview plays. In this small town, people seem to be getting sick. They start staring off into space and then start killing people for no apparent reason. Beth and I are trying to figure out if this is a zombie movie. It seems zombie like. There’s this woman strapped to a cot and some weird looking guy is dragging a pitchfork or something forked and is just about to slam it into her head. Obviously it’s a scary movie. No, don’t need to see this, thanks much.

Then the name of the movie flashed onto the screen. Obviously it’ll be something edgy and dark and scary, right? Uh, no.

It’s called "The Crazies."

Yet again, Beth and I start laughing. Seriously, what? This is the most menacing title you could come up with? Why not call it "The Mondays" while you’re at it (as in "Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays)?

Soon later, we were able to watch the movie we came for. "The Men Who Stare at Goats" is actually quite funny. It is not the best movie ever but it was amusing and fun and that’s what I like in a movie. Plus I do enjoy the occasional conspiracy theory (despite my feelings about Mel Gibson, I do love the movie "Conspiracy Theory"). George Clooney is amazing and I love him. I would recommend going to see it but you could probably save yourself a couple bucks and go to the matinee. Why are movies $10 now? That’s just crazy talk.

Other movies I have seen lately were "Couples Retreat" which was cute and "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" which was phenomenal! "Cloudy" was one of the best movies I’ve seen this year. That honor also belongs to "Star Trek" and "The Proposal".

My desktop at work is four scenes from Star Trek. The crew staring at Spock. Spock strangling Kirk. Kirk climbing out of the shuttle craft on the ice planet. Kirk sitting in Spock’s chair while Bones and Spock look wise. I loved that movie. Every day I announce to my co-workers how many days it is until the DVD is out (today it is 5). They have not yet killed me for this. I’m thinking it could happen soon.

Have you seen any good movies lately?

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