More semi-excuses for my absence

Okay, busy, busy, busy, life is weird and frustrating and funny and odd and oh, my GOD my head hurts (work is kind of crazy right now). I’m a horrible person because I’m only managed to catch up with 3 people so far but hey, that’s much better than it was on the 16th, when I hadn’t read any of your blogs, because, did I mention that I’m horrible?

Fun news! Or, depending on your eco-leanings, yes, Keem has become one of those people

Keem bought a new car. Technically, you would call this new car an SUV. It’s a Kia Sportage and it’s Electric Blue in color (and am I the only person that thinks "It’s Electric!" when I say that? Damn you, creators of the Electric Slide!). See picture below (if it works). Anyway, I know that it’s an SUV and SUVs are technically evil but it’s really pretty and Car (the previous car (which she would not allow me to name and so I just started calling it Car and it stuck)) started making really horrible noises that sounded like it was going to die any minute. Plus, the windows didn’t work very well (Keem has not been able to roll her window completely up for over 3 years. When it snows or rains, there’s a gap that precipitation just loves to come through) and the windshield fluid holding thingy had a hole in it that couldn’t be fixed without taking the entire engine apart. And the horn hasn’t worked in over 3 years.

So two weeks ago today, Keem went to the Barnett Kia dealership in White Bear Lake (if you are in the area and need a new car, apparently they are awesome) and got the new car. The new car has not yet been named and, although I am completely awesome when it comes to naming things, am not allowed to pick the name. I am seething internally about this, just so you know. She’s waiting until she gets her new plates to make a decision. Grr.

How to drive my roommate absolutely insane

So Saturday, Keem and I went to see some movies. We went to see Cop Out and also Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. Both movies had their different redeeming features. I would not say that they were the Best! Movies! Ever! but both were enjoyable. I’d have to say I liked The Lightning Thief just a tad better but hello, Greek Mythology is awesome. Plus, I’m not sure who this Tracy Morgan guy is that was co-starring with Bruce Willis (who is still yummy in so many ways) but I had the worst time understanding half the stuff he was saying because he seemed to be shouting a lot. I would perhaps like the movie better if there had been sub-titles.

Anyway, after the movie, she hands me her cell phone and tells me to put it in her purse. I do so.

DM: I put it away correctly (I once did not put it away correctly and heard about it for quite sometime).
Keem: Did you put it in the pocket (there’s a special pocket for the phone. Don’t forget! She gets cranky!)?
DM: I did put it in the pocket.

Pause. I must state for the record that I have no idea where this came from. I am not on any drugs that I am aware of (You never know, movie people could scatter drugs over the popcorn just for the fun of it).

DM: I put it into the POCKETAH!
Keem: The what?
DM: The POCKETAH!

POCKETAH is the word pocket with ah at the end but you say it in a funny sounding intense voice. It’s seriously fun to say. Try it.

POCK! EH! TAH!

Wasn’t that fun? Anyway, for the rest of the evening, I would randomly say this to her when she wasn’t expecting it. After the 10th or 15th time, she got a little annoyed and told me I wasn’t allowed to say that word anymore. Especially if I ever want to go to the library again. So I say it my head and then giggle.

POCKETAH!

Sheldon Cooper has his BAZINGA. I have my POCKETAH!

Robot. Robot Dance.

So last night, Beth and I headed to Sonic on Robert Street in West Saint Paul (long story short, it was not a good experience and we won’t be going back. The food was horrible and, when we complained about it, we were treated like we were idiots). After leaving Sonic, we went to Wal-Mart because they’re open to 11 PM and we needed something to do after we drove out of Sonic’s lot, vowing to never come back (to that one, anyway, I’m sure all the other Sonics are lovely). We are wandering around the scrapbooking aisles and then come across the buttons.

In case you did not know, buttons can be used to scrapbook with. Pretty much anything can be used for scrapbooking. It’s pretty awesome. Anyway, I found this button with a robot on it. Cheesy looking red and blue robot with his arms raised. It looks like a 5 year old drew the robot and someone decided to make a button out of it.

DM: Look. It’s a robot. Doing a robot dance.

At the exact same time, Beth and I say "Robot. Robot dance" while doing a robot dance. We realize that we are in the middle of Wal-Mart and stop the dance. We can’t believe we did this but decided that the fact that we both said and did the same thing at the exact same time and stopped dancing at the same time needs to be memorialized. Beth bought the buttons. Yes. We’re going to scrapbook about something we did while shopping for scrapbooking supplies. We are that dorky.

I’m being Facebook stalked

So there’s this guy who keeps leaving these random comments on my Facebook statuses and it’s a bit confusing. I’m not exactly how we became "Facebook friends" but I’m sure it was for Mafia Wars or something like that. I’m "friends" with over 1,500 people. From his picture, I can tell he’s Arabic and I’m pretty sure English isn’t his first language.

Anyway, he leaves a comment about how I should send him my phone number because I am his flower and "I sickness you". What the hell does that mean?

I make the mistake of going "online" instead of hiding in my "offline" status (long story short, there’s this crazy woman I used to go to school with who told me one of my high school friends is now a hooker in Vegas. She’s not a hooker, in Vegas or anywhere else. Anytime I go online, she’s there and wants to chat). I receive a chat message that says "I sickness you." Again. Dude. I have no idea what that means.

I had my high school yearbook picture up for awhile and a few days ago, I did a "Robot. Robot Dance" status update. Just for the heck of it. He left a message that said "I do not like robot. I like your face which is beautiful."

Okay. Right. I changed the picture to a more recent picture of me. How do you like me now? My status update is now about how I managed to set myself on fire again on Sunday (I have no clue how I do this. Perhaps I need to relearn how to smoke). He leaves another comment. "Why you…fat…great change." Again, what the hell does that mean? Are you telling me I’m fat? I know that already. Are you saying I look better now than I did in high school? You’re insane. While I recognize that I am quite adorable, I was seriously cute in that picture.

So I’m telling co-worker Jessica A about this today (she’s my very newest co-worker and is not to be confused with co-worker Jessica R) and two of the tech guys are listening to my story. I mention that he’s been leaving this comment that says "I sickness you." Both of them pause and look at each other. One of them says "I know what it means. It’s Internet geek talk and it’s not something I can tell you here." Now I am even more confused. Is it dirty? Is it insulting? I tried Googling it but nothing really came up for it.

I’m thinking I’m going to remove him as a friend, though. While the chances of us ever meeting up are slim, really, I don’t need the confusion.

Plus, seriously, who doesn’t like robots? Robots are awesome!

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