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I’m pretty excited about this new book because it’s pretty and it’s set in space and it’s YA (Young Adult) AND a romance/struggle sort of thing. Anyway, if you like YA as much as I do, enter the contest. Plus, did I mention the cover was pretty?

Take a look for yourselves!


So on Friday, I had to pay a visit to the doctor. I’m trying to get FMLA at work. Not so much because I need it but I’ve been out of work before due to illness and written up. You can only miss so many days before there’s the possibility of being fired.

I was asked if I was doing anything fun with my day off and I said “I’m going to the doctor to get poked and yelled at, not my idea of a fun time.” Also, while I didn’t realize it, I was suffering from depression. Every year, like clockwork, my normal, regular depression starts pressing in more and goes from lower case to upper case Depression. Last year, I ended up screaming and crying at Kari and Kim about how they hated me and I was all alone and blah, blah, life sucks, blah, pity me, blah. Long story short (too late), Kim pointed out what time of year it was. I am not only bipolar but I have what a former therapist referred to as “milestone triggers.” So my birthday is a huge trigger for me. I’m sure I’ve written about my former “friend” that used to, every year on March 1st, say “Dana, your birthday is on March 11th and you’re going to be how old? What have you accomplished with your life?” Then I would sit there and try to defend myself and he would shoot down every response I made to prove that, once again, I was nothing. Obviously I know I am not nothing now but it was hard to realize it back then.

Anyway, this is the first time ever that I’ve been able to realize what was going on. I’ve got some major stress things going on right now (including the fact that I’m torn between loving and hating my job) and I caught myself on Friday morning thinking “What good am I? What purpose does my life serve? Have I accomplished anything?”

Whoa. What purpose does my life serve? Former “friend’s” specter (and I can never say that without the quotation marks, I even make air quotes when I mention him) was rearing his ugly head. He used to say that my purpose in life was to make people laugh. Which doesn’t sound so bad until you tie it in with what he meant – I wasn’t supposed to make people laugh with me, I was supposed to make them laugh at me because I was so ridiculous and fat and stupid and whatever thing he wanted to say to bring me down.

So, I talked to Deb, I brought up how I’ve been feeling lately, and we discussed treatment. We can’t up my meds because I’m at the highest FDA approved dosage of Effexor (or faux Effexor since I’m on the generic version of it). But since I’ve realized what’s happened and talked about it, I feel better. I feel almost euphoric. It’s important that I’ve figured out what was going on.

What was this about? Oh, yes, things I’m loving.

  1. Pinterest. I am so freaking addicted, it’s not even funny. The ideas, the thoughts, the crafts! I’ve found so many things that I’m going to try and, even better, am now looking at Anthropologie and Pottery Barn and instead of thinking, oh, I’ll never be able to afford that, am thinking “Hey, I bet I could make that.” Also, if you happen to have a couple extra thousands lying around, I’d really like this bike. It’s pretty.
  2. Reading. I’ve always loved to read and being able to go to the library is awesome. I also got a Kindle for Christmas and do you have any idea how many free books are out there? I may look into self-publishing someday. You know, if I ever finish a book. This year I resolved to actually keep track of what I read and have been faithful about using Good Reads to do so. Which reminds me, got to track Catherine McKenzie’s Arranged, finished it last night. I liked it.
  3. Getting (slowly) back into blogging. I’m going to try to post once or twice a week month. Let’s be honest here. I’m not good at the blogging thing.
  4. Recognizing that I was depressed. It’s weird to realize that I love that but I do.

I bring you this Literary Meme, provided to us by Ms. Stinkypaw.  She hails from Canada and can read books in French (which is terribly exciting, don’t you think?)!  As always, I don’t expect anyone to do this but if you do, please leave a comment.  I love to know what other books people are reading.

 What author do you own the most books by?
Nora Roberts.  She is my favorite author.  There are very few authors who can do descriptions, dialogue and character development (I am only good at dialogue, unfortunately) and she does it every time.  I’ve been reading her for years and really like her later books, once she broke away from Silhouette.  Her books are still considered romantic but they’re also suspenseful and I love that!  After that, I’d say Dean Koontz but he’s usually hit or miss (example – Tick Tock?  Awesome.  Your Heart Belongs to Me?  Lame).

2. What book do you own the most copies of?
The Stand by Stephen King.  It’s one of my favorite books.  If I see it at a garage sale, I always end up buying it.  I think I have 5.  For those of you that have seen Conspiracy Theory, think of it as being my Catcher in the Rye.  Except I’m not sure how the black helicopters are going to find me since I don’t buy it at book stores.  But they’re tricky, those black helicopter pilots.

3. Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Yes, sort of but that’s not something I completely obsess over.  I do love my grammar and will try to not end sentences in prepositions but sometimes you can’t help it.

4. What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Oh, that’s easy.  Roarke from the Eve Dallas books.  He’s her husband and he was a former criminal that reformed when he fell in love with a homicide cop.  However, he’s still got that dangerous side and can be considered a bad boy.

5. What book have you read the most times in your life?
Probably Kane and Able by Jeffrey Archer.  I am pretty sure I read it over 12 times.  The Prodigal Daughter by Jeffrey Archer about 10 times.  These are great books.  I also love to reread Nora Roberts books and just reread the Begariad Series by David Eddings.  I love rereading books; it lets you revisit old friends.

 6. What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
I really don’t know.  This may sound like I’m bragging (I’m not) but in 4th grade, I was reading at a 12th grade level and there was talk of moving me to the 5th grade (however, I was doing horrible in math so no skipping grades for me).  I think I was really into Shakespeare and mythology at that time.  I still adore Shakespeare but prefer to read the translated versions – Old English is HARD!  And above all, I’d rather watch it performed.  It’s like opera; I don’t care that the words are in another language as long as I’m watching it.

 7. What is the worst book you’ve read?
I’d like to say it was Twilight but since I lost the copy lent to me, I can’t honestly say that’s so.  I tried reading it because I felt I couldn’t irrationally hate a book if I haven’t read it (but yet I can irrationally hate Ryan Seacrest and Taylor Swift (and her hair)) but honestly, did not get far.  If I hadn’t lost it, I might still be choking through it right now.

 The worst book I ever read was called Soap Opera by Eileen Fulton.  I don’t know why I thought it would be good (maybe because I enjoyed Soap?) but decided to give it a shot.  It was horrible.  The main character spent most of her time bemoaning the fact that she slept with her fiancé before they got married.  After all, that made her a slut, you know.  Oh, and then he went insane and started stalking her so they never got married.  Good Lord.  I have this curse where I have to finish reading a book once I started it but let me tell you, I was really displeased with it (Twilight doesn’t count because I lost the book). 

8. What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?

You know, I started this list of books that I’ve read this year and I suck at keeping it up.  I would have to say one of my favorites was InkHeart by Cornelia Funke.  I loved it.  If you have ever dreamt about being able to enter your favorite book, you’ll enjoy it as well.  I also really liked the movie and it was exciting to know she created the main character based on Brendan Fraser.  I adore him.

 Speaking of being able to enter your favorite books, you may enjoy Jasper Fforde Thursday Next books.  They are hilarious.  I’m also rereading the Hitchhiker Guide to the Universe series again by Douglas Adams.   I like the funny!

9. If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
I’m not a tagger, sorry.  Keem is constantly calling me a book pusher because I get excited about books and then tell her she should read them.  Also, I really think what I like is not going to be the same thing that someone else likes.  Now, if you want recommendations, I’m happy to give them.  Give me a genre and I’m sure I’ve got a book for you.  And this does include paranormal romance, by the way.

10. Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for literature?
Again, what I like is not the same as what everyone else likes.  Nobel Prize literature books are typically too dark and depressing for me.  I love to read but it is for amusement mainly.  It’s kind of like movies – I’m not a drama person, I prefer comedies and action (best movies are ones that make me laugh and things blow up in them).  Beth will typically make me watch dramas with her and I’ll enjoy them but they’re not something I seek out on my own.

11. What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
This is hard.  I know most people don’t like the movie versions of their favorite books but I’m usually able to suspend disbelief and accept the changes (example – Harry Potter Goblet of Fire.  Much as I love Quidditch, I knew it wasn’t possible to have the giant Quidditch match they had, the movie would be three times as long).  I loved InkHeart the movie even though there were changes to it.  I loved Ella Enchanted (but I saw the movie first before I read the book). 

Uh, let’s go with the Eve Dallas books.  I know there was talk they were going to be made into a movie at one point.  I want to see who they get to play Roarke.

12. What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
How about Soap Opera?  Since it was the dumbest book in the world, it would probably be the worst movie ever.  Although that Sally Field/Kevin Kline soap movie was pretty funny.  Not that I can remember the name.

13. Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
Not a clue.  Well, let’s rephrase that, I have a clue but I’m not sharing.  Let’s just say that it involved my crush on Snape and Oliver Wood from the Harry Potter books.

14. What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

Stinkypaw said it best – “I read for my pleasure, not to please others.”  I don’t care if you don’t like my choice in literature.  I read what makes me happy.  I love books about vampires.  I love young adult books.  I like fantasy novels.  I love chick lit (but only if it is well written).  I love Shakespeare.  I love Douglas Adams and Neil Gaiman and Stephen King.

15. What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

What Came Before He Shot Her – Elizabeth George.  Remember when I said that once I’ve started a book, I have to finish it?  This was horrible.  It’s described as the anatomy of a murder and involves these three kids who are abandoned by their grandmother (mom’s in an insane asylum) and dumped with their aunt who really tries to help them but is completely overwhelmed.  It was the most depressing book I have ever read.  I would not recommend it to anyone – not because it was a bad book but it made me so sad and horrified and appalled.  I wanted to gather up these children and save them.  And unfortunately, I could not.

Other than that, I would say The Shining by Stephen King.  It took me 3 years to read this book.  I would start it, get freaked out and stop reading it.  I’d return a couple of months later; get freaked out again and stop reading it. 

16. What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean.  I think you either love Shakespeare or don’t.  Either way, it’s not a big deal.  The community college I went to would put on Shakespeare plays during the summer and I adored going to them when I was younger.  It was awesome.  Although I much prefer the comedies.

17. Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Why do I need to have a preference?  This strikes me as book snobbery because I know this is referring to “The Classics” and what I consider a classic is not the same as everyone else.  For example, I loved Jane Eyre but hated Wuthering Heights.  I’ve never read any Voltaire that I remember and I certainly have no desire to read War and Peace.

18. Roth or Updike?
Wow.  How absolutely descriptive.  Again with the book snobbery.  I know Updike is John Updike but who is Roth?  Phillip Roth?  I believe I read a short story by him once and didn’t care for it.  Also, just for the record, I don’t like Ernest Hemingway either.

19. David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?

I love David Sedaris.  Beth purchased the audio books and listening to him read his stories makes me laugh hysterically.  I also found Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim in my laundry room and found that reading Six to Eight Black Men and Nuit of the Living Dead is just as funny as listening to him read it (but for some reason I always call it “Louie of the Living Dead.”).  Dave Eggers?  Who is that?

20. Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?

Shakespeare is my favorite.  Milton irritates me.  Chaucer is impossible to read but if you have the translations from Old English, it is pretty funny.

21. Austen or Eliot?

Okay, again, book snob that created this meme, I understand you’re referring to Jane Austen but which Eliot?  I’m assuming you mean George Eliot.  Honestly?  Haven’t really read either.  I would assume I like Jane Austen.

22. What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Wow.  I wasn’t aware that I had any gaps in my reading but since you think so, I must throw myself off of the nearest bridge.  Good freakin’ Lord.   If anything, it would probably be that I taught myself how to read and so I pronounce things incorrectly.  And it’s not so much embarrassing as funny, thanks so much.

As for gaps, well, you may think I’m missing out because I don’t like Hemingway but have you ever read anything by Carol Goodman?  The Lake of Dead Languages was fascinating. 

23. What is your favorite novel?
How much time do you have?  The aforementioned Kane and Able and The Prodigal Daughter by Jeffrey Archer.  Most of Nora Roberts’s novels.  A few things by Meg Cabot.  David Eddings – The Belgariad, The Mallorean and the Elenium series.  Oh and the Tamuli series as well.  Douglas Adams – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe.  Dave Barry – Big Trouble.  Charlotte Bronte – Jane Eyre.  Jasper Fforde – The Eyre Affair (and other Thursday Next books).  Mil Millington – Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About (but I also liked A Certain Chemistry).  I also enjoy movie novelisations and transcripts of television shows.  I’ve also been known to read the back of cereal boxes and upside down newspapers when my mom wouldn’t let me read at the table.  In other words, I love to read.  So very much.

24. Play?
Shakespeare – The Tempest.  Oscar Wilde – The Importance of Being Earnest.  Goldsmith – She Stoops to Conquer. 

Favorite Play I’ve Been In?  I’m torn between You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown (I played Snoopy and believe me when I tell you I was awesome), Stout-Hearted Men (the man-hating Miss Hatchett, again, I was awesome) and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (was in it twice, fairly small parts.  Not the best soloist, this girl).

25. Poem?
I like some poetry, not all.  I was in Speech one year in High School and was the Extemperaneous Poetry person (which means that I got to draw a poem out of a hat and then get a half hour to interpret it.  Then I would read it and was scored on how well I read it.  Yeah, makes no sense to me either but it was close enough to being on stage to make sure I did pretty well. 

These are some of my favorites from the poetry book they had us read from:

 Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost
This Is Just to Say by William Carlos Williams
I Am Not Yours by Sara Teasdale

They are short but all three are beautiful.  Plus, they don’t really rhyme.  I am not a fan of the rhyming poem. 

26. Essay?
See question on David Sedaris for answer.

 27. Short story?
Hands down, it is Word Processor of the Gods by Stephen King but I love short stories.  I really love Regency Christmas short romantic stories (again, don’t know why, I guess it is just how I roll).

28. Work of non-fiction?
Mythology.  Technically it is in the Non-Fiction section of the library/bookstore.  I think my favorite biography was the one about Meat Loaf but I also enjoyed The Rock’s as well. 

29. Who is your favorite writer?
Nora Roberts.  But I love a lot of different authors.

30. Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Dan Brown.  The research is good, the idea of the plots are intriguing but I’m sorry, two page chapters that keep ending in cliff hangers?  Really?  Not very convincing.  Or James Patterson.

31. What is your desert island book?
Uh, the complete works of Shakespeare?  If I only get one book, I’m not going.  I don’t know how the people on Lost handle it.

32. And … what are you reading right now?
I am re-reading “An Ice Cold Grave” by Charlaine Harris (better know for the Southern Vampire novels that True Blood are based on).  I am also reading a book Beth’s mom picked up for me – it was free since Harlequin is celebrating their 60th anniversary.  Fortunately it is one of the Intrigue novels (their mystery series) but it is sort of annoying.  It’s called Crime Scene at Cardwell Ranch and I have no idea what’s going on.  Well, okay, there was a skeleton found in a well but the Ranch is being sold and there’s all this tension between the heroine and the hero and she’s also ticked off at her folks but the author hasn’t bothered to let us know why.  That is irritating.  I’m only on page 60 so I hope it’ll get better.

Why one should be careful when they read Stephen King

So Beth and I are at karaoke last night and she turns to me.

Beth:  You know how you always get sick when you read The Stand?
DM:  Yes.

 If you have never read The Stand, this may not make sense to you.  Short synopsis – The Government is conducting secret germ warfare testing and something goes wrong.  The fail safe way of making sure that the germs don’t get out fails when one soldier realizes there’s a problem and the gate doesn’t shut.  Soldier escapes and runs across country with his family.  Spreading the germs on the way.  A short time later, 99% of America’s population is dead.  Long story short (too late), there is this epic battle between good and evil (led by my fake boyfriend Randall Flagg).

Every single time I read this book, I get a cold.  And then I am absolutely convinced that the book is becoming true to life and we’re all going to die.  A little paranoid, yes, but this is also the same man that instilled in me my fear of clowns.

Beth:  I read it and the Swine Flu pandemic hit.  
DM:  Oh.  Yeah.  That’s not good at all.
Beth:  The Government keeps saying everything is okay and I’m thinking “I don’t believe you!”

In the book, there was a huge conspiracy to keep everything undercover and oh,hey, it’s just the flu.  No big deal, folks.  Which is a huge stinking lie!

Beth:  If this did happen, I wouldn’t head out to try and find other people.  If there were say 4 people left, I’d say “C’mon and hang out at my place.”
DM:  OOH!  We could scrapbook!
Beth:  We could scrapbook.
DM:  And then we’d take pictures of dead people and stuff.  Okay.  That’s just weird. 

Only Beth and I would decide to use the end of the world to our scrapbooking advantage.  A sure sign that we’re addicted.

I was talking to Co-Worker Rykken about this today and we discussed our plans about what we would do if the book became true to life.  Rykken has a plan to go and read tons of books and learn how to fix things so he’d have a good life.  He came up with this after watching “I Am Legend.”  I told him he could come hang out with Beth, Keem and I.  

DM:  We wouldn’t make you scrapbook.
Rykken:  I’d probably enjoy it for one day and then say no thanks.
DM:  We do other things.  We could watch movies and stuff.  We could have you pose for us with the dead bodies.
Rykken:  Would you make me pose the dead bodies?
DM:  Well, I’m not going to touch them.  Ew.

There’s a brief pause.

DM:  This is kind of creepy, huh?
Rykken:  Uh, yeah.
DM:  Okay, I’m going back to work now.

I just want to state for the record that I am not completely sick and disturbed.  It was just the lack of sleep and this book has been haunting me for years.

In which the Swedish people conspire against me to drive me insane

So Beth went to IKEA and bought this laptop table that is named Dave.  Keem and I really like Dave and decided we wanted him as our own as well.  So we could say “This is Dave and this is his brother Dave.”

The last time Keem and I went to IKEA, Dave was not in stock.  It was very sad.  Kari had part of last week off because Eric was in the Caribbean for his sister’s wedding.  She was taking Josh to the Mall of America for a trip to Lego Land (Or Lego World or Lego Paradise or something like that.  All I really know is that there are tons of Legos and the kid loves the place) and they would stop at IKEA.  She said she would pick up Dave for Keem and I.

Friday  night she called me to tell me she had the two Daves in her car and would be stopping over to drop them off.  YAY!

I manage to drag the Daves up to our apartment and Keem and I start putting them together.  Keem offers to put my Dave together if I pay for hers.  Looking back, you would think I would say “Sure.”  Dave was only $17 – not going to break me.

But noooooo.  Not me.  No, I have to say “I can do it.”

Flash forward.  I have managed to put together the majority of the table.  But there is this one piece that is thwarting me.  All I have to do is attach it to the bottom of the table and that’s about it.  But I cannot get it no matter how hard I try.

Twenty minutes later, I am just about in tears.  My back hurts, my head is starting to throb and my hands are shaking from the attempt to squeeze this piece together enough to get it to snap into place.

DM:  I can’t do it!  I can’t.  How did you get it to work?
Keem:  It was a little hard but not that bad.
DM:  KEEM!  Make it work!
Keem:  I offered to put Dave together for you.

I give her the pathetic puppy dog eyes.

Keem:  Oh, no.  I’m not doing it now.

There is more cursing on my end.

Keem:  Did you look at the diagram?

I glare at her.  

DM:  OF COURSE I looked at the diagram!  I’m NOT STUPID!
Keem:  Okay.  Well, I don’t know why you’re having so much trouble with it.

I glance at the diagram.  Huh.  Look at that.  

DM:  I just spent 25 minutes trying to put this damn thing in upside down.

She spends an equal amount of time laughing at me that I spent cursing the stupid table.  But Dave is put together and I love him so much more than the stupid TV tray I was using. 

The keeten is a freak

So we know Kalli is a piglet because she constantly wants to eat.  We know she’s annoying because we’re constantly telling her to shut up or stop chewing on her brother or no, it is 6 AM, you are not being fed right now or get off the counter.  We knew she was a freak because she is obsessed by ice cubes and wants to get into the freezer so she can play with said ice cubes.

What we didn’t know is that she is a) a circus animal and b) impervious to pain.

To entertain Kalli and make sure she gets some exercise, I’ve taken to tossing her dry treats for her so she has to work for them.  I’ve also managed to train her to do the meerkat pose when I say “Up” (usually only when she knows I have food.  And it takes forever).  Or, I’ll skid some treats to the end of the table where she can pop up and scrape them onto the floor.  I am assuming she is doing this to keep her hunting skills sharpened.  You never know when a bug might get into the apartment.

The other night, she is sitting by the bookshelf and she realizes there’s a treat on the coffee table that she hadn’t seen before.  Oh my GOD!  A treat!  Yay!  She throws herself at the table and does a somersault in the air.  Unfortunately, she doesn’t keep in mind what goes up must come down and the somersault is interrupted by her smashing her head and back onto the table.  Keem and I are horrified.  Is she okay?  Did she break her back or smash her head too hard?

Apparently not.  She stands up, shakes herself and is pawing the treat onto the floor.  Two seconds later, she’s begging for more.  Either she’s Wolverine’s cat and can heal quickly or the extra pounds she’s put on is working as a cushion.

So how are all you guys doing?

In other words, a post of things that irritate me, make me say WTF and have made me giggle.

Let’s the start with the irritants, shall we?  Did I mention there would be bullet points?  Bullet points are fun!

  • Kalli has started urinating in non-approved areas.  After doing some research, it appears that this is due to the fact that she is going through the cat version of puberty.  Which would explain the general bitchiness and the “Don’t touch me, I hate you” cries that we get on occasion.  The accusations of neglect (because, you know, we’re mean and cruel and don’t feed her), the sulking, the hair styles we can’t figure out…all explained.  Kalli’s a teenager.
  • We need to get her spayed.  While the chances of her running into a non-neutered cat in our apartment is slim to none, I, like Bob Barker, believe that your pets should be spayed and/or neutered.  But do you have any idea how much it costs to do this?  We’re looking at $355 so far being the cheapest (she needs shots as well).  We are debating getting her declawed but the more I read about it, the more I think I don’t like the idea.  Granted, apparently they use a laser nowadays which is just kind of awesome (because lasers are cool) but still, she’s not much on the scratching of furniture.
  • Humans are another story.  I don’t know if I ever mentioned that she likes to knead.  So she’ll climb up on to either Kim’s or my arm and start kneading like crazy, tiny little claws puncturing your skin.  And then she licks you while she’s kneading.  And apparently I may have a slight allergy to her saliva because my arm is one inflamed mass of scabs and general ouch.  And last night, when Kari was putting a couch cover on our couch, Kalli thought this was a game and hid about halfway up the back of the couch and removed a nice chunk of Kari’s skin.
  • I am sick.  Again.  I am so sick of it (pun intended).  I really didn’t want to come to work today but I told myself to not be a wimp.  Mainly I’m just coughing on occasion and feel a little dizzy but other than that, I’m okay.  The one good thing about this?  Walgreens  has cough drops that are flavored like Dad’s Root Beer.  You would not think that Root Beer and Menthol are a good flavor combination but they work.
  • I am sure I am irritated by other things because, hello, it is Monday and I am always cranky on Monday but I can’t think of anything else yet.

Things that make you go WTF?

  • How did NickelBack get on my iPod?  In what universe would I actually download something by NickelBack?  I hate them so very much.
  • Speaking of  iPods, Kari’s iPod is being given to my mother and so I ended up with some of Kari’s purchased music.  It’s Raffi and some annoying bunch of children singing nursery rhymes.  So you’ll be jamming out to some music and all of a sudden some kid is saying “Five Little Speckled Frogs” and it’s kind of creepy.  Usually I skip past this quickly but there’s this one Raffi song that I kind of enjoy.  Okay, that’s a lie.  I like it a lot.  It’s “This Old Man” and it’s funny and bouncy and I listened to it this morning and then listened to it again.  What the heck is happening to me?
  • I’m in the bathroom at work this morning and glance over at the stall wall (which rhymes!).  There is something on the wall.  It appears that someone has decided to pick their nose and wipe it on the wall.  Who does this kind of thing?  I mean, really, right? 
  • And this makes me think of a former “friend” of mine who actually did this and then thought it was hilarious that I accidently bumped up against the wall and then got his “boogers” all over my “fat ass.”  Yeah.  Apparently he was 30 going on five.  Surprisingly enough, we haven’t been friends in years. 
  • I am muttering to myself in indignation and taking a piece of toilet paper to remove this obscenity when I realize it’s a feather.  I think there’s a moral to this somewhere but don’t know what it is.

And that which made me giggle incessently:

  • Keem and I rented “Mama Mia” last night on Comcast.  SO VERY CUTE!  I love musicals, of course, and also adore ABBA so we were having a great time singing along.
  • Kalli’s sudden change in her way of expressing her affection to Eddy.  Before it was “Hello!  Let me climb all over you and steal your treats and attempt to eat your head because I want to PLAY!”  Now it is “Hello, sailor.  Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?  Do you know how to whistle, Eddy (my cat has turned into Mae West)?”  She’s making these little purring noises at him and taking his face into her paws and rubbing her cheeks up against him.  Eddy is backing away in horror, of course, with a look that says “Listen Lady, I don’t know what you want but you’re not getting from me!”
  • Miss Melissa sent this to me the other day and I absolutely love it.


Save the llamas, people!

And in other news:

It’s Tuesday now.  I’m at home because Keem got the flu.  In other words,  I couldn’t get a hold of anyone this morning to get a ride into work and unfortunately our shiny new building is not on a bus line.  It’s probably just as well that I was home, I was able to fetch water and Sierra Mist for the sickee and also feed the cats so they would stop harrassing her (Kalli gets loud when she feels she hasn’t had enough to eat.  It’s a wonder that she doesn’t weigh 400 pounds).  The thing that sucks about this is I have Friday off but have to give back the time because I have way too much to do this month and I’m behind.  While we’re working on making my job easier, it is a work in progress.

The dentist does not accepts felines as payment but a) did not yell at me and b) was seriously and totally hot.  Also very young and was probably still in high school the last time I went to a dentist.  But oh well, still, he looks like Greg from CSI: and even made me laugh a couple of times.  I have a dentist appointment on the 17th, let me rephrase that, I have two appointments on the 17th, one at 10 and the other at 4 because apparently I have a pretty small mouth (my mother would be surprised to hear that) and he’s worried about filling my 6 or 7 cavities in one appointment.  So we’re splitting it up but because I have to take the entire day off just to go to the dentist, we’re going to do it in one day.  And then, because I am so very lucky, I get to go to a specialist and talk about the peridontal disease I have or am in the first stages about.  And then I get to have the ultrasonic scaler!  The joy!  The rapture!  The absolute pain.  I may ask for nitrous oxide for that.

In two days, I had to explain why my personal email address  is greenduckiesgirl AT comcast DOT net.  The first time was at the dentist office and the second time was when Kari and I wandered into Northwestern Book Store.

Kari:  Why are we here?
DM:  Because there are books.
Kari:  So?
DM:  I need to find a book.  I can not leave a book store without buying a book, Kari.  That’s unheard of.

I did find a book, a joint effort by Frank Perretti (I really like the couple of books I’ve read by him and named a cactus Mr. Perretti after him) and Ted Dekker, both writers of paranormal suspense and horror that just happens to also be religion based.  It was called “House” and it creeped the hell out of me.  I had to flip to the back of the book to find out what happened before I could read any more.  Long story short, demons and a serial killer trap this couple in an abandoned house and they have to find their way out.  Will they survive?  It took me a long time to be able to sleep Sunday night.

Anyway, the woman asked me to sign up for their email newsletter and said she loved how creative people are with their email addresses.

Kari:  My email address is my name.  I’m not very creative.
DM:  I think we’ve established who the creative one in this family is.  And by creative, I mean insane.

The woman told us a story about her son who is home schooled and somewhat bizarre (not because he’s home schooled, just one of those creative types that are never understood (Which I understand)).  Anyway, she picked him up from a study group and he came out to the car with pink and yellow post it notes up and down his arms.

Woman:  Why?
Son:  I’m a bird.

And then he began flapping his arms.  I burst out laughing and said I’ll have to try that someday.  I then shared the story of how I was trying to convince Beth to let me use her hedge trimmer (failed) and then gathered the small hedge trimmings.  I held up a few by my face and said “Look!  I’m a bush!”

Kari:  Sometimes I wonder how we’re related.

Hope you all had a good weekend and that you are not sick.  Sick is bad.

Sheryl from Paper napkin has been doing this and I’ve really enjoyed reading it.  She has been posting about the things that make her happy, something about 365 days of Grace or something like that.  Anyway, since it’s the close to the end of the year 2008 (how is this possible?  I once thought I wouldn’t make it to be 30 and now I’m living in the 21st century and am 41?  And where the heck is my flying car?)

I kind of did something like this yesterday and figured what the heck, why not again?  I doubt I could do this every day but it helps to think of pleasant things, especially when my old “friend” Depression is nipping at my heels.  She’s such a bitch.

  1. Comments!  I am a comment whore and I admit it freely.
  2. Friends, both IRL and on the interwebs.
  3. Books.  I love books so very much.  I love them with the passion of a thousand burning suns (the same passion for which I hate Nickelback (funny story (or sentence actually) my credit card has a contest going on where I could win the opportunity to follow Nickelback on tour for five days.  If I was to win, I think I’d have to decline because you would all wake up one morning to news stories about how I bludgeoned them to death with their instruments shouting “You should not be famous!  You are no-talent hacks!”).
  4. Um, I think I was talking about books, right?  Calming down now.  Hoping that no one actually budgeons Nickelback to death because I could be in big trouble.
  5. Anyway, books.  I love to read so very much.  I try to have a book with me at all times because you never know when you might have to wait for something.  Especially in the break room at work.  4 minutes waiting for your lunch to heat up just flies by when you have a book.
  6. Food days at work.  Someone brought in spiral hams and I was able to have ham sandwiches.  Plus there were ham pieces that were overly cooked and those are my favorite.  Mmm.  Ham.  Maybe I want a 3rd sandwich.
  7. The fact that my mom loves me enough to think about buying me an iPod for Christmas.  I have, however, squashed that idea by suggesting she visit my wish list on Amazon and choose something from that. 
  8. Joss Whedon.  Neil Patrick Harris.  Nathan Fillion.  The fact they have combined to create Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog makes me incredibly happy.  One of my suggestions on the Mom list.
  9. Discovering Charlaine Harris not only writes the Sookie Stackhouse books but has other series.  Found Grave Sight at Barnes and Noble the other day and have been devouring it.  This is a series about a woman who was struck by lightning when she was younger and can now find dead people.  I love paranormal mysteries.  Book 2 and 3 from the series are also on the Mom list.
  10. Knowing that Keem, Kari and I are going to make cookies this weekend with the nephew.  Should be seriously, seriously fun.  Or drive me insane.  One or the other.  And we need 20 pounds of flour.  This scares me.  That’s a lot of flour.
  11. Daily Dose of Imagery.  He’s in Canada somewhere and takes pictures.  Lots and lots of pictures.  Today is a yellow tram and it is very cute.
  12. Music.  I love having my iPod at work and whenever this particular song comes on, it makes me want to sing and dance along. It’s happy and funny and the video is really cute.  I’ll have to check out her other music.  Thank you iTunes for free music on Tuesdays.
  13. I mentioned my fondness for the LOL cats, right?  At first I resisted them (it was the grammar and the spelling.  It made me hurt) but I learned resistance is futile and gave in.  Really, I should be pleased the cats can type instead of expecting them to spell correctly.  And look!  I have figured out how to insert the pictures properly!  YAY!


I found this a long time ago and might as well post it now. It still counts.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
The wily bird, however, leads them only to their deaths, flashing its wings enticingly until they fall into a bottomless racine. – About the Alicanto, a strange bird monster. From the book “The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures” by John and Caitlin Matthews. It was a Christmas gift from my mom and is seriously cool.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Okay. My elbow cracked. That was painful. Thanks a lot.

What was the last thing you watched on TV?
Journey to the Center of the Earth. Actually much better than I thought it would be. And Brendan Fraser is seriously hot. Now I’m watching National Treasure 2. Nicholas Cage is also hot.

Without looking, guess what time it is.
8:30 PM

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:20 PM

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Dramatic music from the movie. Callie trying to attack Eddy in the cat tube.

Before you took this survey, what were you looking at?
CDW’s blog on Word Press. Thinking about moving mine. Might have to do a test run.

What are you wearing?
White and pink striped tank top and jeans.

Did you dream last night?
More than likely but I don’t remember.

When did you last laugh?
About 15 minutes ago, watching Kalli run around the room like a crazy furry top.

What is on the walls of the room you’re in?

Seen anything weird lately?
Not really.

What do you think of this quiz?
It’s a quiz. Not the world’s greatest.

What was the last film you saw?
Journey to the Center of the Earth. Were you not paying attention?

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I don’t know. Buy a house. Buy my sister a house. Maybe get an El Camino (and possibly a driver’s license).

Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
Late at night, whenever everyone else is sleeping, I change into a half human, half snow leopard creature. Well, no, but I can’t think of anything that I haven’t told people about.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Gay marriage would be legal.

Do you like to dance?
I like to chair dance.

George Bush
Is going to be out of office soon. Thank the Lord.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what would you name her?
Elizabeth True

Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you name him?
Dmitri Aloyious. Good thing I’m not having kids, huh?

Would you consider living abroad?
I would live in Portugal in a heart beat.

What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Why, yes, Dana, cats and dogs do get to come to Heaven. Muffin, Kitty, Clyde and Maime are all waiting for you.

I don’t tag. But if you happen to do this, let me know and I’ll come read it. I am fond of the memes.

So Miss Melissa posted a bunch of links to people who are writing about the books they loved as a child. I clicked on one of the links randomly and found this meme at My Past in Books (awesome name). I will post every day this stupid November! I will!

What was the last book you bought?
I’m not positive. It may have been Acheron by Sherrilyn Kenyon but that was awhile ago.

Name a book you have read MORE than once.
Anything by Nora Roberts. She’s my favorite author and I’ll usually reread her books while I’m waiting for her new books. Also Kane and Abel and The Prodigal Daughter by Jeffrey Archer. I’ve read Kane and Abel about 13 times and The Prodigal Daughter about 12.

Has a book ever fundamentally changed the way you see life? If yes, what was it?
I don’t think so. I do remember once deciding to model my room on a Laura Ingalls Wilder book and I was going to have a Spartan exhistence. Just my bed and one doll. That didn’t last long.

How do you choose a book? (eg. by cover design and summary, recommendations or reviews)
Authors – I have a few favorite authors and will buy their books automatically. Nora Roberts, Mil Millington, Charlaine Harris, Kim Harrison, etc. Oh, and Christopher Moore. Neil Gaiman. Okay, it used to be a few. I’ve expanded the list apparently because this was only supposed to be one or two. After that, if I’m looking for a new author, I’ll look at the book description – what is it about? If it intrigues me, I’ll usually pick it up. I wish I got to the library more often since I’ve wasted some good money on books that were incredibly annoying. However, this method did lead me to discover the Thursday Next books by Jasper Ffordes and they were fantastic.

Do you prefer Fiction or Non-Fiction?
Definitly fiction. I read fiction to escape into the book. I will read some non-fiction but typically autobiographies. And I really have to like the person. So far I’ve read The Rock’s and Meat Loaf’s autobiographies. I’ve heard Bruce Campbell’s is good and I’d love to read Adam West’s.

What’s more important in a novel – beautiful writing or a gripping plot?
Well, I’d really like it to have both. There are a few authors that can do both – Nora Roberts (her descriptions of Alaska and Wyoming have made me want to move there) and Harlan Coben (he did a description of going to a baseball game with his father that made me want to start following baseball. I hate sports!) both come to mind.

Most loved/memorable character (character/book).
God. How do I choose? Can I pick Buffy? I do like the novels. Um, I think I have to say Shadow from American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I really loved him. I also loved Davey Dempsey in Jennifer Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation and was thrilled when she wrote his own book (Faking It).

Which book or books can be found on your nightstand at the moment?
I don’t read in bed. Unfortunately I have discovered that reading in bed is not conducive to a good night’s sleep. I will sit up until I finish the book.

What was the last book you’ve read, and when was it?
I just finished Sherilyn Kenyon’s Acheron this morning. At 7:30 because Kalli decided she was hungry and thought biting my feet would convince me to get out of bed (she was right). Now I don’t know what I’m going to read. Hopefully Keem and I will be taking a trip to the Big Book Store in the Sky (Barnes and Noble. And no, I have no idea why we call it that. But I call Archiver’s the Mother Ship so I guess it kind of makes sense. That many books feels like I’m in Heaven).

Have you ever given up on a book half way in?
Sometimes. It is very rare because it is difficult for me to put time into a book and not finish. I have finished some absolutely horrible books because of this. Others I will read the last chapter so I can stop reading it (Dean Koontz’s Face scared the crap out of me so I read the last chapter. It was well written but really creepy).

July 2018
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