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It’s 9:45 CT and right now the mood is cheerful in my apartment. I am watching the crowds in Chicago cheering at Senator Obama’s election headquarters. There are thousands of people there. It looks good right now with 206 electoral votes in Obama’s favor. I’m also hoping to see something about the race for Senator. I am hoping very much that I do not have to deal with Norm Coleman anymore. Apparently the television is listening to me and just flashed that it is Norm 41% and Al Franken 42%.

Anyway, to kill some time and to help me keep on the path to finishing NaBloPoMo, here are some pictures from the last few days. Of course, I must show you pictures of my adorable babies, Kalli and Eddy.

Kalli finds everything in the kitchen absolutely fascinating.

Apparently Kalli needs a bath

So she was quite excited when I started unloading the dishwasher the other day.

A sharp blade?

The fact that this is a sharp blade doesn’t faze her at all. I did move it away from her quickly.

Kalli looks at Icanhascheezburger

I have been spending some time at I Can Has Cheezburger. Makes me laugh. Kalli is fascinated by the pictures. I tried to angle her so I could show the picture she was looking at as well but she would not have it.

Eddy enjoys a moment of peace

Here Eddy enjoys a moment of peace before Kalli attacks him. He’s taking to hiding in the tube when she is on her rampages throughout the apartment.

Laser kitty attempts to destroy interloper

And now she has found him. He tries to destroy her with his laser eyes but it is not working.

Now for some pictures of me in all my beauteous glory.

Do not cut your own hair

Remember when I said I would post a picture of when I cut my hair and everyone was laughing hysterically about it at work? Well, here it is.

Hello Kitty

This was my Halloween costume. I was the cheap, white trash version of Hello Kitty. I may start wearing my hair this way more often.

I voted!

And then this one is my favorite. Even though my hair looks like crap and my face is incredibly shiny.

I voted. Thumbs up, America!

And to update at 10:02 PM CT. He won! He won! Obama won! I am so happy!

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Hello! My name is Kalli and this is my big brother Eddy. I adore him and like to cuddle and spend lots of time with him because I am just the sweetest kitten in the world. Don’t you just want to pick me up and kiss me over and over again? Of course you do.

Thirsty kitten

Here I am delicately licking my paw. When I drink water, sometimes I drink it in a normal manner by applying my tongue directly to the water itself. But other times, to increase my absolute cuteness, I will dip my paw in the water and then lick it off. Aren’t I angelic in nature? Yes, yes, I am.

Bubbles!

Do you know why I do that? Because I am fascinated with water. I know I should be afraid of it like other cats. But I’m not like other cats. I’m different. I’m special. Sometimes I like to hop into the shower with Keem. It’s fun.

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I really like to snuggle with the humans. Humans are also fascinating. Like really large beings that I can walk all over and they don’t even care.

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They say “Oh, Kalli, please stop biting your brother.”

Must eat feet!  Feet are the enemy!

Or “Kalli, please, for the love of God, leave my toes alone.” But they don’t do anything about it.

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Do you know why? It is because I am their Kitten Overlord. They must obey. Resistance is futile.

Note from Dana:

So yesterday I was home sick (again. Enough with the cold already). Remember those episodes of the Road Runner when Wile E. Coyote would chase after the Road Runner and end up running off the side of the road? I heard this scrabbling noise yesterday and turned to see Kalli’s head suspended over the counter, her paws flailing frantically. Then there is a crash and I run to the kitchen expecting to see my poor wounded baby bleeding and broken from the butter dish she managed to pull down with her. But she’s not. Instead she’s batting around the broken glass. Great. And when I try to sweep it up, she thinks that I’m playing with her. She is such a dork.

I ended up calling Kalli kitten of the corn because of the butter dish and then she tore the springy thing on the door off (what are those springy things on the door called? Door stops?) and batted it around the apartment for awhile. Plus there was the constant attacking of Eddy. How do you persuade a kitten that everything in the apartment is not a toy? The spray bottle works a little bit but I can’t use it when she attacks Eddy. It’s not fair to spray him as well.

Sigh. I love her. She’s a sweet, sweet kitty when she wants to be. But I am really beginning to think she might be a tiny little bit evil.

I am really, really sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Blowing my nose has become an exercise in grossness because the force is so strong, I have managed to get mucus all over myself at least once a day this week. That’s fantastic. Makes me feel really special.

My co-workers think I am nuts because I am draping a Puffs tissue with Vicks over my nose and (well, as much as I can) inhaling deeply. I’m used to them thinking I’m nuts. And I really love the smell.

A few minutes ago, a bull elephant mistook me for his mate. Or it could have been a gander. I’m so sick, I can’t tell the difference.

I was supposed to go to a volunteer event tonight to “Feed My Children.” We would have been putting together boxes of food to ship overseas to starving children. I will not be doing that because I really don’t want to send my putrid, disease causing germs to them as well. Or infect anyone else.

I was looking forward to karaoke again tonight but will instead be doing the same thing I’ve done every night this week, curled up in bed, trying to breathe and cursing the rat bastard that got me sick.

Okay, enough whining. Here’s a picture of absolute cuteness to make me feel better.

Kalli and Eddy

Kalli needs to be by Eddy. All the time. And this is not as cute as you would think. Typically she is trying to eat him. Poor Eddy. Hopefully she’ll calm down soon.

Sheryl from Paper Napkin is awesome because she posted a meme and that made me be able to breathe a sigh of relief that I will be able to post something besides an essay of what my cats have been doing this week. Seriously. I was sitting there thinking “Don’t I have anything else to say besides ‘Kalli is cute and Eddy is adorable’?” Apparently not. Well, there is the fact that I am seriously starting to think about investing in a suit of armor. Kalli’s teeth and claws are very sharp and she likes to use them. We also changed her middle name to Jean so now she is named after Jean Grey from the X-Men. She also has a new nickname – Calamity Jean.

Anyway, here is the meme.

Things I love:

Song you love: I love a ton of music but my absolutely favorite one ever (this week) is “Pieces on the Ground” by The Nadas. Awesome.

Word you love: Besides Awesome? Thwart. I love the way it sounds.

Academic subject you love: Greek Mythology

Hobby you love: Scrapbooking, Blogging

Type of baked good you love: The one thing I can never resist – 7 Layer Bars

Type of sky you love: Blue with big puffy clouds

Beverage you love: Mountain Dew. I am weak.

Vacation you love: I am quite fond of the road trip.

Restaurant you love: Manny’s. Mmm. Steak.

Way of getting around that you love: I think I would really enjoy using a Segway. Other than that, it would be in a car with a friend with the tunes blasting and the windows open.

Person you love: Kari

Room in your home (or ideal home) you love: The living room. My shiny computer is there.

Movie you love: The Imposters is my favorite movie of all time.

Book you love: Please. Like I can settle for just one. Anything by Nora Roberts. I read a brilliant one this summer called The Bright Side of Disaster by Katherine Center. Kane and Abel & The Prodigal Daughter by Jeffrey Archer.

City you love: Lisbon

Future plan you love: Moving to Lisbon

Form of communication you love: Email. I’m not fond of talking on the phone.

Junk food you love: Cheez-its. Even better – Cheez-its and Cream Cheese covered with Jalapeno Jelly. Yum.

To do this yourself, just copy and paste into your own blog!

Song you love:
Word you love:
Academic subject you love:
Hobby you love:
Type of baked good you love:
Type of sky you love:
Beverage you love:
Vacation you love:
Restaurant you love:
Way of getting around that you love:
Person you love:
Room in your home (or ideal home) you love:
Movie you love:
Book you love:
City you love:
Future plan you love:
Form of communication you love:
Junk food you love:

I do not know why I’ve had so much difficulty coming up with a topic for E. I thought about Exes but that’s just way too depressing to think about my past love life. I was going to write about a past employer that truly ticked me off but I found myself getting incredibly long-winded. And then it hit me. It’s not like there isn’t a 5 pound* squirming orange annoying pest cat named Eddy that is constantly under foot.*

*He may be closer to 10 pounds now. He’s getting a pretty big belly.

E is for Eddy

Eddy entered my life many years ago. Anywhere between 1995-1998. Probably 1998 but I don’t really remember (yet another reason not to have kids. “Mom, when was I born? How old am I?” “How the hell should I know? Ask your Aunt Kari”). My roommate at the time brought him home to add to her growing cat collection. Here was this tiny bundle of orange fur that fit into the palm of my hand and who had a tail that was so long, you could wrap it around him 3 times. I fell in complete and total love.

My roommate was going to name him Peaches and I rebelled. First of all, I hate peaches. They are a disgusting fruit and completely gross me out. In fact, I refuse to even say things are “just peachy” and will instead say “just orangy.” Because I am weird. And also, he obviously wasn’t a Peaches. He was an Edmund Orange.

Edmund Gray was the name of one of the characters on All My Children, a soap that my roommate watched and one that I had started watching with her (I am flexible that way. I don’t particularly have a soap that I watch but will watch whatever my roommates are addicted to. Right now it’s Guiding Light and As the World Turns). He was my favorite so I named Eddy after him.

Also, in high school, my nickname was Edmund Wayde the 2nd.* Or Eddy. So it was only natural that I name my cat after Edmund Gray and myself. Or natural in my world.

*Edmund Wayde the 1st was one of the 4 parrots in my stuffed animal collection. Edmund after my favorite song at the time “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” and Wayde after the really hot guy who worked at Donatelle’s where my friends and I would hang out on the weekends.

Eddy was curious and intrigued by anything. His favorite things to do were to “help” Anya or myself with things. One of these times was when Anya was putting up Christmas lights. Eddy was absolutely fascinated with this. He would watch her put the light cord into the suction cup holder and stick it to the window. And then he would bat at it until it fell down. He could repeat this for hours. Even when she put him in another room so she could hang them, it was normal to find the lights hanging askew the next morning. It was hilarious. Anya wasn’t as amused as I was but hey, to each their own.

As you can see, he still has a fascination with lights. This was taken about 3 years ago.

Let there be light strings

This was my Christmas card. Apparently I’m not the only one with Bright Shiny Object syndrome.

Ooh, pretty

Another time, I had fallen asleep on the couch. It was summer and my bedroom was incredibly hot since the air conditioning didn’t reach much past the kitchen, let alone down the hallway. I woke up at about 3 AM by this strange ringing, jingling noise. What was it? Where was it coming from?

It was my cat. Anya had turned off the air and opened the patio door to allow fresh air to come in through the screen door. Since Eddy still had his claws, he had managed to open the door. Excited with his newfound freedom, he decided to run back and forth on the patio. Jingle, jingle. Jingle, jingle, jingle. Jingle. Smart enough to open the door, not smart enough to actually take off.

At the same time I discovered Eddy was outside, Nala had run into Anya’s room and started meowing loudly to wake her up.* Anya came wandering into the living room and we then realized that not only had Eddy made a run for the border, so had Prowler and Swayze (yes, named after Patrick, because the cat was fairly graceful and the ladies loved him), a cat we were watching for a friend.

*We decided she was telling on the boys. It sounded exactly like a little girl running to her mother to tattle tale.

Thus began the Cat Wrangling event. I finally coaxed Eddy inside and Anya and I started looking through the parking lot, hoping to find the errant boys. I found Swayze, crouched underneath a neighbor’s car. He wouldn’t come to me so I had to lie on the ground and squirm under the car until I was able to grab him. I was just waiting for someone to ask me just what the hell I was doing with their car but managed to not completely embarrass myself. I did, however, have a ton of gravel embedded in my knees. Not fun.

I decided to continue the search for Prowler a block over at our old apartment building because he had loved to go outside and stare at the ducks that lived in the pool (the pool had been closed for years but had filled up with rain water). While looking for him, our old neighbor nearly gave me a heart attack by standing in the shadows. Since there were no lights in the parking lot, I didn’t see him until he smiled and his gleaming teeth said hello. Freaked the heck out of me. Prowler was not to be found, not that an almost completely black cat would be easy to spot. Finally, at about 4:00, I headed for home, only to find out Prowler had returned about 15 minutes after I had brought Swayze back.

Eddy will no longer wear a collar and he really hates it when I try to put hats on him (but it’s fun and I’m really mean so I’ll keep trying) but he still loves to try and escape. There has been many times that I am chasing him down the hallway, hissing for him to stop running. He has walked into someone else’s apartment before. That was fun, having to knock on their door and say “Hey, uh, my cat is in your apartment” wanting to say “Um, dude, why is your door open? Do you not understand the whole cats and curiosity thing?”

Here are some more recent pictures of Eddy and also the Demon Cat, Sebastian. I will be getting the Demon Cat again in May while Kari and Eric go to Las Vegas for Rob (Eric’s Dad) and Betty’s (Rob’s long time girlfriend) wedding. I apparently will also be watching gerbils or hamsters…some sort of rodent. That should be fun.

This picture is when Eddy and Sebastian started playing together but before Sebastian decided to try and make Eddy his bitch.

Eddy and Sebastian

Eddy in a box. This is normal. The other day, Keem and I heard this strange thumping noise and discovered the cat with his head inside of the box her cell phone came in. The box barely came to his shoulders but he was trying like crazy to get all of himself inside of it. He’s just slightly insane.

Box Kitty

Okay, when I said recent pictures, I meant around Christmas. It takes me a little time to load pictures. As you can see, Eddy’s already trying to get rid of the hat.

Apparently Eddy doesn't understand what "Kitty!  Look here!" means

Here Eddy poses by the Christmas tree. The pink beaded ornament was created by yours truly. Enjoy my mad beading skills. It’s amazing at how creative I am (wow! I can make a semi-spiral! Woo-hoo!).

Eddy and tree

Eddy is trying to attack the garland I am making for the tree. Shocking, isn’t it, that a cat would try to attack a string?

Okay, now he's making his move

Eddy makes love to the camera. Well, actually it’s the tripod but still…

Eddy makes love to the camera

Okay, that’s it for now. Any suggestions for F? This encyclopedia thing is harder than I thought. I have no clue how Sass did it!

You know how I said in my last post about how Enchanted was a great movie if you believed in fairy tales & that people should burst into song and dance at any provocation?

Last night that happened to me. Not exactly people but suddenly there was a production of West Side Story taking place in my living room. Starring cats (in case the title didn’t give it away). Eddy defending his turf, taking the role of the Jets. And Sebastian (my sister Kari’s cat who is staying with us while she, Eric & Josh are visiting our mother in San Diego) aptly playing the Sharks.

It could be that I was very tired, having been dropped off by Beth at 3 AM this morning. It could be because I ran out of Seroquel on Friday night and Saturday night (technically Sunday morning at 7 AM) I relied on Tylenol PM which meant that I was up at 1:30 PM on Sunday. It could be because that I’m slightly insane.

But there was Eddy, lying in the middle of the living room, allowing me to pet him until he stalked off through his brown tuby thing (with pink trim (I’ve mentioned that I’m really fond of the brown/pink combinations, right?)). Maybe he was trying to hide but the tuby thing also makes a lot of crackling noise and Sebastian came into the living room. Eddy’s movements became more dramatic as he stalked through the tube. I seriously thought he was going to start doing the dance to the Jet song.

Eddy and Sebastian circled around each other. There was some hissing. There was spitting. There was the flailing of paws in each other’s directions (they didn’t actually touch each other). I was waiting for Sebastian to start singing “Keem!!! I just met a girl named Keem!!!” but then I remembered that Sebastian was supposed to be the Sharks and so he couldn’t be Tony.

I mentioned that I was really tired, right? I would try to sleep and then there would be a crash or a hiss or something. And Keem kept sleeping through it. I’d get up, go and lecture them. Tell them that they were cousins and needed to start getting along. Pet them an equal amount of time so they didn’t get jealous of each other (please. Like that worked). So it’s not that weird that I would start imagining a bunch of orange cats singing “Gee, Officer Krupke.” Right?

At about 5 AM, I probably had been asleep for about 15 minutes (only because I put a blanket over my head) when Keem called my name.

Keem: Dana! Go deal with Sebastian!
DM: What’s he doing?
Keem: Jumping on my bed, meowing piteously and then jumping off and walking away.
DM: Oh, yeah. He does that apparently. I told you he was a talker.
Keem: That’s fine but I need to sleep!
DM: Please. You completely missed Cat Side Story.

I then demostrated Eddy’s odd ballet like stalking motions. Keem told me I was insane. Sebastian finally shut up at about 6 AM when he found his way into Keem’s closet. He likes closets.

I talked to Kari today (after I realized I let my entire immediate family go off to San Diego without finding out where they were staying. Fortunately they all have cell phones) and she said that Josh is already saying he doesn’t have a kitty anymore. Kari told him that no, that wasn’t true. Eddy and Sebastian are cousins and so they’re just having a sleep over. I think it is very amusing that we both refer to the cats as being cousins (and Mom loves it when I refer to Eddy as her grandcat (not that she acknowledges him in any way. He is bereft of grandmotherly love)).

I mentioned I was tired, right? This post may have not made any sense.

A month or so, Keem and I were in Target. Super Target to be exact (cooler than regular Target, less evil than Wal-I don’t get what happened to them, they used to be a decent company when I worked for them but then, apparently they became incredibly greedy-Mart (kind of a long name)). As we are wandering down the cat aisle (well, actually, I wander. Keem usually has a very specific agenda in mind. 8:15 PM Enter Target. 8:17 PM Drag Dana out of the scrapbook section. 8:19 PM Tell Dana that, no, she cannot buy a book. 8:20 PM Enter cat food aisle), something catches my eye.

DM: Keem! Keeeeeeem! Look!
Keem (long suffering tone): What?
DM: Look! It’s a tie!

And it is. It’s the most adorable collar ever, fashioned into the share of a tie.

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Keem: Cute.

She is intrigued and decides to investigate the other great things in the cat aisle, the things that she misses because she’s always in a hurry.

She finds the hat. It’s fashioned like a lion’s head. The perfect thing to make your cat wear on Halloween.

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Yes, we bought them. What is the purpose of having a pet (or a small child for that matter) if you can’t dress them up in stuff that they will hate?

We debate whether we should work up to the full torture (hat and tie on at the same time) slowly or do it all at once. After much decision (5 seconds), the unveiling ceremony takes place. This is done by convincing the cat to come and investigate the newest toy that has been bought for him (he is spoiled. But that could be because I can’t actually walk down the cat aisle without buying him a new toy).

And then I grab him. Notice the laundry in the background of this picture. It was there for about a week.

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First the hat must be applied.

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Then the tie.

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There! Doesn’t he look absolutely adorable?

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Video number 1. Keem is supposed to be taking his picture.


And now, the releasing of the lion kitty into the wild.


And the picture of how his collar and hat got completly reversed.

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If you’re wondering why my eyebrows are red and blue, it was because it was red and blue day during customer service week. Hey. There were prizes involved. I have no shame.

In other news, I found out my Uncle Jerry died on Monday morning. He was my mother’s brother and I credit him for being partially responsible for my sense of humor. Between him and my father, I learned to really appreciate sarcasm. Rest in piece, Uncle Jerry. You were an awesome, awesome man and I’ll always be thankful for knowing you. Apparently my Aunt Rita is not doing very well, she is ill and also just lost her husband of 53 years. Keem also has a friend of the family that was diagnosed with cancer recently. Any prayers or thoughts for them would be greatly appreciated.

I tried. I really, really did. But what it all comes down to is that I started running out of things to say. And then the things that I were saying just weren’t funny. And since my purpose in life is to be funny, I had to let it go.

And speaking of funny, here is a conversation had with Keem this weekend.

Scene: Laundry Room
Characters: Keem, Dana and Janitor Lady (JL)

Keem: Dana!
DM: Yes?
Keem: The random cat toys in my laundry cart have to stop!
JL: Bwahahaha!
DM: What? You’re kidding.
Keem: No. No, I am not.
DM: But how does he get it into the laundry cart?
Keem: I have no idea.
DM: Weird.
Keem: Last time it was the white fluffy one that he loves. I found it after I washed the clothes so I had to throw it away.
DM: You threw away the white fluffy one? How could you? No wonder he’s been so forlorn lately.

Yes. Apparently the cat toys are not clean enough for his majesty, Edmund. It’s bad enough that he demands the fresh ice water and the cat treats mixed properly but now the toys have a specific cleanliness standard.

Oh, and this morning? He was so trying to scam extra wet food from Keem by looking all sad and neglected by his dish (I feed him the wet food in the morning, Keem feeds him when we come home). Plus, he eats better than us because he gets Fancy Feast Elegant Medleys. Dang Cat.

No, I am not leaving NABABNA. I interviewed for another position within the company, one that works more directly with the companies that we are agent for. There’s research involved & working with other departments. It’s the other spectrum of what I do now.

Yesterday Keem and I had off of work so the day was spent lounging around the apartment doing nothing. Well, okay, we did more than nothing. I actually did clean the kitchen (I know! Amazing! But Keem bribed me with computer time) and made supper (corn dogs. Very complicated. Although I was amused by the label. Apparently what we ate last night was a batter covered hot dog on a stick made from pork and turkey. Here I always thought the stick was made out of wood. Silly me). I also watched several episodes of “What Not To Wear” and played with beads (I’ve been making necklaces and anklets. I haven’t worn any yet, of course, because I keep forgetting about them or none of the necklaces match what I want to wear that day. I really want to learn more about this because I would love to try and create a necklace I saw years ago, a replica of a flapper’s necklace that was multi-colored beads on a long strand. It was only 20 dollars and I still keep kicking myself for not buying it).

The fireworks started going off around 10:15 and the lovely thing about our apartment is that, because we’re on the 27th floor, we can see the fireworks for approximately 7-10 cities. They were quite pretty and I wish I would have been able to get a good picture of them, it would have been a lovely panoramic view. Eddy was seated on his cat tower, staring out the window at the fireworks. It’s quite funny to watch his reactions to certain things. For example, he loves the spiders that hang out on our window* (which is completely gross and I wish they would go away) and will paw at them, trying to reach them through the window. He also will watch television with us, sometimes. He’ll be on the couch and stare at the television. Mainly just cooking shows but he did enjoy a nature program about dolphins and whales once.

*The spiders are all on all of the floors. The 3rd floor laundry room windows will be covered completely with their webs. It is so disgusting. But the other day, the coolest thing happened. I was on the computer and I caught this fluttering out of the corner of my eye. Here this bird had swooped down and was treading air until he grabbed one of the spiders. It was awesome to watch. I wish he’d come back and get the rest of them.

Hope you all had a good 4th. I should know more about the job either tomorrow or next week. If I get it, great, if not, I’ll be okay – I still like what I’m doing now.

So I admit it. I watch American Idol. I actually kind of even like the show. Granted, I think it is a bit of a joke, with Randy interjecting the word “Dawg” into each sentence 40 times and Paula floating on her “oh life is so wonderful and filled with Care Bears and Rainbows and la la la” cloud. The only person who ever says anything remotely interesting is Simon and people boo him the moment he opens his mouth. And no, the fact that I think Simon is hot has absolutely nothing to do with my defense of him. Nothing. Also, for your safety, please do not get me started on Ryan Seacrest and his annoying hair and “oh, aren’t I so funny” and “look at me, I’m just a pretty boy who thinks I am talented but we all know I’m really not but look – I’m pretty” attitude. I don’t like Seacrest. Okay?

Anyway, Idol is becoming interesting. Sanjaya is finally gone, the top 6 people left are going to become top 4 tonight, we’re getting close to the end.

Last night was (sorry, Beth) Bon Jovi night.

Keem: Are you okay?
DM: Yeah. Why?
Keem: You don’t seem enthused.
DM: Yeah, Bon Jovi is really, really popular at karaoke. I’m a little scared.

By this I mean that anyone who grew up in the 80’s or ever saw Young Guns absolutely has to sing Bon Jovi. At least once. Some of them aren’t bad (Marian sings Bed of Roses and is awesome) and some of them are terrible. Sometimes there is screaming. Not all of the screaming comes from the stage. Some of it is in my head (Shut up! Shut up! For the Love of God, shut up!).

However, last night was pretty good. Jon Bon Jovi was mentoring the Idols and looks much better now that he has short hair (I may love the hair bands of the 80’s but I don’t really like the hair).

The two performances that really stand out for me were from Blake and Melinda. Keem and I have been rooting for Melinda from the beginning and about 3 weeks ago I turned to her and said “I would go see her in concert now.” She sang “Have a Nice Day” and it was fantastic. I don’t know how else to describe it. She was hard rock and flirty with the guitar player and spectacular. I really believe she could win this. I’ve felt that way from the beginning.

But Blake. Oh my God. Blake. Blake with his freshly dyed black hair and his beat boxing and the leather jacket and the cool, kind of robot like moves and then the drumming duel between him and the drummer? He took “You Give Love a Bad Name” and made it fresh and new and Randy was right. Dude. That was hot. Keem and I had to watch it a second time, thanks to the miracle of DVR. I think it is going to be between Melinda and Blake and I am torn right now because I really want them both to win. They both took the songs and made them their own. It was wonderful. It was like watching Bryan sing Prince or Neil Diamond or anything and twisting it around to fit him. Beth might even have liked it. If she didn’t run screaming the minute she saw that I wrote Bon Jovi.

And, in other news, remember my cat? Eddy? The one that loves only Keem? Yeah, I have just realized how spoiled he is. How did I find that out? By sending an email to the concierge in my building, explaining the care and feeding of Eddy. This is the email.

Kristin,

Thanks for getting back to me. Here is a list of Eddy’s demands, I mean regular routine. And yes, I am aware that he is spoiled.

Dry cat food and water dish will be in the kitchen. Dry cat food is kept filled but doesn’t need anything put in on a daily basis, just when it starts to get low. Believe me, he would rather have the wet food on a constant basis.

Wet cat food is usually once in the morning and once in the afternoon but he will not perish if he only gets the wet food once a day. He may act like it but he’ll be fine. If you can stop by twice a day, awesome, if not, that’s completely okay. The wet food is only a small amount, half a teaspoon or so, if he eats too much of it, he has a tendency to throw up and that’s just gross.

He also has a dish on the coffee table that gets filled with a mixture of Pounce & Temptation treats. A layer on the bottom of the dish should be fine. According to my roommate, you’re supposed to stir it up so he gets a nice selection but that’s just ridiculous. It’s already bad enough that the cat eats better than we do, he doesn’t need to be waited on hand and foot.

And then, the water. If you can take the white glass that will be on the coffee table and fill it with ice water each day, that will be perfect. He likes to have a nice selection of water. As I type this, I realize how crazy this sounds but I did say he was spoiled.

The litter box will be in the hallway bathroom and it is clumping. Anything else would be uncivilized.

Thank you so much for doing this, it is so greatly appreciated. He has a nervous breakdown if we’re gone for an entire day and he has to go without treats, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like if you weren’t willing to help us.

Oh my God. Keem actually told me last night to stir the treats up so he had a selection. Is there any reason why he likes her more than me?

Anyway, it is back to work. This will be my last post for awhile. I hope you’ll all be having a great time and I look forward to catching up with you when I return from vacation. Hopefully I will have lots of fun stories to share and not how my cat drove the concierge crazy.

March 2017
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