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So. This guy named Stubes. I’ve mentioned him before, right? I’ve mentioned the fact that he has expressed some interest in me. He is fascinated with my nickname Hurricane Dana and has even gone as far as to insert it into songs he has sung at karaoke, including “Honkeytonk Badonkadonk (and if this is spelled wrong I could care less because it is, quite possibly one of the most annoying songs ever sang. Not quite as bad as “Picture” but close enough. Why would anyone think a song about slapping your grandmother because some woman has a nice ass would be romantic? Why?) which is, to quote Beth, the country version of “Baby Got Back.”

Now no one really calls me Hurricane Dana that often. It has morphed into Slurricane Dana or just Slurricane since the night I got really, really drunk. But Stubes doesn’t know that. Because he just sort of hangs around our table and makes annoying off color remarks and you know that someone is really starting to tick me off when I am more excited to see Craig (not hot Craig either. Suspenders Craig). Honestly, I would rather go on a date with Pete…okay, wait, no, that’s not even close to true. Stubes at least seems to have a personality, I just don’t like it all that much.

Anyway. So last Thursday, James was sitting across the table from me. Stubes was up singing the Bar Buttocks song.

DM (to James): If I leap across the table and kiss you, don’t take it personally.
James: Okay.
DM: He (indicating Stubes) is not getting the hint.
James: Says something but I couldn’t hear him over the Saloon Ass song.
Beth: Listen to the song. He’ll insert her name into it at least once.

Which, of course, he didn’t. The one time I want him to sing my name in the stupid song, he doesn’t. And no, I didn’t leap over the table to kiss James. I am not that coordinated. I would fall over and it would be embarrassing.

I’ve posted about this last Sunday and how Stubes was irritating both Beth and myself. Well, now he has completely clinched that he is not the man for me and never will be (okay, I didn’t really have any problems figuring this out already but it is a nice segue).

Beth and I arrive at the Chalet last night. The parking lot is surprisingly empty. Hmm. Thursday nights are usually quite crowded. We walk in. The place is jam pack full of people.

B: There must have been a caravan or something.
DM: Yeah, I guess so.
B: We have two options. Sit at that table (closest to the wall nearest the stage) or sit at the bar.
DM: Do you want to sit at the table?
B: No. Let’s sit at the bar.
DM: Okay.

We go and sit at the bar, in the back. It is somewhat quiet there. I use the word somewhat in this case to mean “really freakin’ loud but not the chaos that is the actual bar.” We are sitting next to the cigarette machine. One thing to know about the cigarette machine is that you need to have the bartender turn it on in order to get your cigarettes out of the machine. I do not know why there isn’t a sign posted on the machine about this but Beth and I were more than happy to tell the many people who tried to buy smokes this fact.

Stubes walks into the bar.

B: There’s Stubes.
DM: Oh, God.
B: Maybe he won’t see us.
DM: This might work.

I take my purse and hold it in front of my face. This way, if he looks in our direction, he will see Beth and my purse. It is a subtle disguise. No, I do not spend the evening holding my purse in front of my face. That would just be silly. I do try ducking behind the bar for a little bit. It doesn’t work overly well. Not very comfortable.

Stubes does eventually find us. Oh, joy. He comes over and says hello. He has this guy with him. The guy is somewhat cute.

Stubes: This is Dan. Dan, this is Beth and Dana.
Dan: Beth.

Shakes Beth’s hand.

Dan: Dana.

Shakes my hand.

Stubes: Hurricane Dana.
Dan: Hurricane Dana? That’s a cold-hearted nickname.

Later, Dan comes over to buy a pack of cigarettes. He, of course, can’t get the cigarettes because he didn’t ask Annie to turn on the machine. We let him know this.

Stubes comes over again.

Dan: Who do you need to fuck around here to get a pack of cigarettes?

Classy. Wow. You know how I said he was kind of cute? Yeah. Take it back.

Stubes: Dana.

Uh, excuse me? Beth and I exchange a look. You may be familliar with this look. It is the look that says “Oh my God! Could this guy be anymore of an ass?”

Not that he ever had a chance of succeeding with me but that was the last straw. The really drunk guy that asked me for an ice cube and then told me he loved me, twice, had a better chance of experiencing the chaotic joy that is Hurricane Dana, Class 5 Love Hurricane that she is (I’m not sure why I decided to refer to myself in the 3rd person there but what the heck). Tom Cruise Crazy has a better chance with me. Hell, Tom Cruise himself has a better chance and I HATE Tom Cruise.

I am not sure what I’m going to say to Stubes when I see him again. I may ask Matt to be my fake boyfriend again. Any suggestions? I am leaning towards hitting him over the head with a chair. That might get the point across.

Oh, to add to the excitement of the evening, there’s a fight about something going on in the main part of the bar. Something to do with some guy not being pleased that another guy has looked in the direction of his “baby’s mama.” Yes. He actually used those words. Personally, I would dump him. To add to the tension, he may be a member of the Black Hat Mafia (to change things up, they are back wearing the black hats. Perhaps they are in disguise as well) and the person he is angry with is black. Because we can’t just fight about karaoke all the time. Sometimes we have to add racial tension to the mix.

Liz was there and we talked a little bit about James’ party and how we should get him cream cheese squares. Apparently, when he was younger, his friends would buy candy and he would get cream cheese. I am both confused and amused by this.

The evening ended with a whole bunch of people in the parking lot screaming at each other while Bryan and Andrew tried to reason with them or at least make sure that no one killed each other.

DM: You know, sometimes I just want to say to these people Hey, there’s a big lake right across the street. Why don’t you try to drown each other and stay away from the Chalet?
B: Sometimes I just want to say to them that they should grow up and is it really worth this?

While Beth’s answer is the more mature one, I like to imagine the rumble escalating into a splashing fight. It makes me giggle.

Hope you all have a great weekend. I am going to Beth’s tomorrow to scrapbook and then to James’ for the party (yay!) and I have Monday off so I am very excited about this!

So a whole new year starts in a few hours. I thought it would be fun to go back through time and take a look at some of the things I’ve done in the past year.

In January, I:

Made a New Year’s Resolution to not kill anyone (and kept it! Yay me!). I’m going to have to come up with a good one for 2006. Hmm. Any suggestions?
Got hit on by a woman at the Chalet.
Had my heart broken (no, not really. Just found out that Bobby had a girlfriend. He was my eye candy at the bar).
Spent time with Beth while she was on drugs (codeine and Beth is a very fun combination) at her apartment and at karaoke.
Was thrilled when Liz sat at our table. We got our first experience of sitting at the cool table. I’m pretty sure this is also the day that we met James and Barry officially.
Struck mass fear in the hearts of others by saying things I don’t normally say.
Climbed onto my soapbox to regarding the stupidity of boycotting cartoons because the characters may or may not be gay. Who cares? Seriously. If you have nothing better to do than worry about SpongeBob SquarePants holding hands with Patrick, you really need a life.
Met the Weary Hag for the first time. Yay! Have you checked her out yet? You really need to, she is brilliant.

In February, I:

Went back on Effexor. And was really happy when it kicked in.
Wrote about a love affair that went horribly awry (Part one, two and three).
Told the hot bartender Bobby that I dreamt about the gun (drink dispenser). Why am I allowed to talk to men?
Was accused of being vain.

In March, I:

Found out I have sleep apnea (not really a surprise. Ask anyone who has ever had to share an apartment with me).
Wrote about obscene phone calls I had received in the past (1 sick, 3 funny).
Went to karaoke and discovered I have the mind of a teenage boy.
Celebrated my birthday (also got my passport).

In April, I:

Experienced super weird karaoke experiences (Karaoke Gone Wild!).
Confessed to playing Strip Magic.
Got an iPod shuffle for my birthday.
Dreamt that George Clooney invited me to dinner and I was the main course (in the food sense). Went to Portugal and met the beauteous Johnny in person.

In May, I:

Participated in a plot to drive Johnny insane by encouraging people to click on my Google adsense links so that Beth and I could get her to come to America for the state fair. Ah, the insanity. Plus! Met the lovely and talented Diana!
Was excited about Spring and posted a mini photo essay.
Started doing a photo assignment that I never finished. Perhaps I will soon.
Wished my mother a happy Mother’s Day
Had my first kiss in seven years. Thank goodness for Andrew – I can’t believe I found this. I’ve been trying to figure out when this happened.
Received horrible news from my doctor – easily resolved but I was NOT pleased.
Wrote about two funerals I went to that resulted in laughter instead of tears.
Was told that I am delightfully and refreshingly mad by Johnny.
Proved Johnny right – because my God, I am a freak.
Discovered that my personality matched Captain Kirk (who’s surprised by this?)
Wrote about how to win Gil’s love and affection by using tips from Oprah.
Celebrated my one year blogversary.
Wrote a post inspired by Diana about the first time I ever heard/used certain swear words.
Met Quagna, my South American boyfriend and love of my life. Oh, Quagna. Move me.
Came out of the blogger closet – revealed my true last name and set up an Amazon wish list.

Wow. May was a busy month.

In June, I:

Posted a photo essay of balloons. I like balloons.
Posted a photo essay of Eddy and his problem with ornament addiction.
Became a femme fatale and also first decided I wanted to lick Gil’s ear (well, admitted it out loud).
Wrote about the time that my fear of heights, elevators and spiral staircases almost resulted in my committing homicide.
Went to Tomah to meet Mark (part one and two) and eat really good Chinese food.
Wrote about why I’m not allowed to play with power tools.
Posted a photo essay about going to the park with Josh – for my sister’s birthday.
Wrote a poem based on one I found on Diana’s site.
Posted the prolouge to a novel that has been stuck in my brain for years.

In July, I:

Heard about the bombing in London – And panicked that Betty was one of the injured or lost but fortunately she was not.
Wrote about one of my old nicknames – Edmund Waynde the 2nd
Was handed an article by a co-worker about a tree molester.
Watched James take off his pants at karaoke – also said goodbye to Tom because he left us to move to Texas.
Realized that the smell of beer turns me on. If it’s the right guy.
Did that meme, you know the one where you look back at where you were in your life so many years ago.

In August, I:

Decided that there is a Cosmic Joker who is messing with my mind and trying to convince me to tell Gil how I feel about him – Like telling him that I lick like him is going to accomplish anything.
Got really, really, really drunk on Buttery Nipples – And wrote a post about why I was never ever drinking again (because I’ll stick to that promise. Yeah. Right).
Posted a photo essay about Eddy – because I have no life and what could be more exciting than seeing pictures of my cat, right? Right?
Said goodbye to Char – And cried. A lot. I miss her. This is the weekend that Beth decided to paint my nose and arm with ice cream. She’s a freak.
My Introduction to Comic Books – My first boyfriend was a geek. I like geeks.
Post about turning my skin different colors – Hey, I look good in blue. But hot pink? That’s really my color.
Broke the touch barrier with Gil – And that worked out so well. Look how far we’ve come since August. ARGH!
Posted about one of my pet peeves of repeating the same words over and over and over again in the same sentence or two – Unless it’s used for comedic value over and over and over again by me. Then it’s okay.

In September, I:

Wanted to kill Keem for sending me the most annoying email ever – Tied to my pet peeve post.
Became known as Hurricane Dana
Participated in the first ever New Sex Song Sunday at karaoke – Other stuff happened, of course, but this is an exciting day.
Celebrated National Talk Like a Pirate Day by winning Pirate Porn – With a picture of Jesus.
Celebrated Keem’s birthday – Although she wouldn’t let me pet the El Camino so she is very mean and doesn’t deserve to have a birthday.
Found links to sites about Jesus that were, well, horribly wrong but yet funny – Yes, Mom, I’m going to hell. I know.
Went to see the best movie ever made – My God, I love Joss Whedon.

In October, I:

Try to disguise my love for Gil by saying it was really Neal Patrick Harris that I adore – I’m not sure it worked.
Became somewhat jealous when this woman was touching Gil – And Beth had sugar and went insane.
Posted about two horribly awful boyfriends that I had in the past – What was I thinking?
Annoyed Keem in a store, watched tons of Lost episodes with Beth, went to karaoke – my, what a social whirlwind I call my Life.
Made declarations as to what I would do when I became the Official Queen of the Universe
Faked being hypnotized
Celebrated Beth’s birthday
Was the only person that dressed up for Halloween karaoke – But I was adorable so who cares, right? Right?

In November, I:

Confused Ginger and Molasses cookies for one another and was very disappointed – and also received weird spam
Posted a story about my pet rock running away
Vowed to never drink again when I decided to tell James and Dean about my piercings – I seem to make these vows fairly often. Nothing seems to come of them.
Went to the Children’s Museum with my nephew, the most brilliant child in the world – Carefully edited photos of said child
Posted the list of reasons as to how to tell you are a karaoke junkie
Got an exciting new banner, thanks to Sheryl of PaperNapkin – Green Duckies are frogs! They’re frogs! In case there was any doubt.
Posted about the time I babysat Damien and gave him a bloody nose
Met Matt for the first time – He works with James at the theater.
Posted what I was thankful for (on Thanksgiving)
Posted about my Thanksgiving
Went to a lot of karaoke – Where I was tortured by New Kids on the Block songs
Went to some more karaoke and flirted! With Gil!

In December, I:

Consoled Becky when she told me that her boyfriend broke up with her by calling him a rat bastard and bald – I am ever so supportive.
Talked to James Kirk
Almost got into a bar fight at karaoke
Sorry, the last post was the prelude to the almost bar fight – This post is the actual post about how I almost got into a bar fight.
Worked for Junior Achievement, got to go through James and Matt’s wallets at karaoke – Have I mentioned what an exciting life I have?
Got invited to Matt’s birthday party – More proof that we are part of the cool table. Oh and I got talked into sing Strokin’. It was my lucky day.
Had my title usurped by the Evil Keem who has now decided that she’s the Queen of the Universe – Which is just completely irrational of her.
Participated in an elaborate scam to get a Creepy Tall Guy to leave the Chalet – Because he was creeping us out. And freakishly tall. I mentioned he was creepy, right?
Received the most unique Christmas present ever – Joe in Vegas sent me Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Thought I was dying – Turned out to just be the flu.
Felt better and decided to share way too much information about myself – And also a semi review about the Pirate Porn movie.

I hope you all have a wonderful time tonight, whatever you might be doing, and a spectacular New Year. Keem and I will be meeting Beth tonight at Fridleykins for the 2nd annual Sheepsheadian New Year’s Eve at Fridleykins (okay, so we don’t have a fancy name for it. It’s still fun. Last year I decided to wear a creamer bowl on my head for a party hat and spent 2 minutes telling Beth, Keem and Matt the plot to one of my favorite Star Trek: TNG episodes). Beth works until 11:30 tonight so it’s a nice way for us to spend time together and not deal with too many drunks. Until they decide that they’re all hungry once the bar closes.

And this cryptic comment is for my lurker – “We miss you. Could you please call or email either Beth or I and let us know that you’re okay?”

Several years ago, if you would have sat me down and said “Dana, you are going to become a complete and total karaoke junkie. You are going to live and sleep and breathe karaoke,” I probably would have laughed at them. But you know, it’s kind of true. Especially when you think that, besides blogging, that’s really my social life. I’m okay with this. I’ve met some great people through both activities.

Last night was dead. Hard to believe after how crazy last week was on Sunday and Thursday. I did do my hair and wore my sparkly shirt and, if I do say myself, looked good. Maybe a little too good. Some of you will remember from last year, my quest for the perfect cleavage enhancing shirt. Well, I found it. Several times during the evening, I would look down and I was spilling out of the shirt (not that bad but both tattoos were on full display through most of the evening). I am not used to this at all because most of the clothes made for larger women fall into two categories – sedate, Grandma clothing and “Hello, I am a whore” clothing. Since I have rules against extremly tight clothing (yeah. Because bulges are sexy) or exposing my midriff (I think it is tacky and have only met one woman who can pull it off without looking tacky, that would be Marion, Reverend James fiance – mainly because she doesn’t combine the midriff bearing shirt with hip hugger jeans), I rarely wear anything that falls into the latter category. I am more into the long, ankle length skirts (don’t have to wear nylons, don’t have to shave above the knee (does any one (women, I mean) remember why it was so taboo to shave above the knee? Flea asked about that recently and I remember my mom telling me not to do it. I don’t care about it being tabboo now, I just don’t do it because it is way too much work)), comfortable jeans, the occasional dressy blouse (or t-shirts). I’ve decided that, since Thursday and Sunday are the only nights I go out, I’m going to start dressing up a little more. Just for fun. NOT because of Gil. Really. You believe me, right?

When Holiday Cheer Attacks

There was a group of four people that sat in the back. One of them, a woman wearing a sequinned Santa hat and also a shirt that appeared to have a lit fireplace on it, had one of those voices that really annoys me. You know the type. It is the high pitched, baby voice that some women have. The only reason I can see for this is to drive me insane. Now, I’m not talking about Marilyn Monroe in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” No, think Victoria Jackson (former SNL member, “Casual Sex?” star) but raise the pitch and decibel level about five hundred degrees (I don’t know if decibels and pitch is measured in decibels. Just work with me here).

Bryan was standing at our table, talking to Beth, Angie-Ang and Steve (Angie’s boyfriend (Or Steve 1, as we started referring to him once Steve 2 (Beth’s team lead) arrived)), Amy and Craig (I do not know what Craig’s relationship to our little karaoke dynamic is. He appears to be a friend of Amy. He is kind of hot and also amuses me so I welcome him to our table)). Woman with the Annoying Voice comes up to the table. She stands right behind me at my left, touching me with her body. Look, let me put it this way, WAV. The only person I want standing this close to me is Gil, okay?

WAV (to Bryan): Are you the karaoke man?
Bryan: No. I’m the karaoke boy.

We all laugh appreciatively. Except for WAV. She stares at him blankly. You can almost hear the word “Huh?” forming in her brain.

WAV: You should sing Hark the Herald Angels Sing.
Bryan: That’s not going to happen.

Bryan is an athiest minister (I think I’ve mentioned that before). Bryan is the man who, if I ever get married, will perform the ceremony. While he and I have completely different spiritual beliefs, he is an intelligent and respectful man who would never discount someone else’s beliefs. We’ve had good discussions about the Bible, religion, whether or not Jesus is a vampire or a zombie, etc. Instead of telling this woman that there is no way he’s going to sing a Christmas hymn, he says a very simple “Sorry, I’m not interested.”

WAV wanders off and we resume our conversation. Later on, she returns. She is drunk(er) and, as hard as this might be to believe, even more annoying. And again, she is standing right next to me, her body pressing up against my shoulder. Woman! Just back off already.

WAV: C’mon guys, you have to get him to sing Hark the Herald Angels sing!
DM, Beth, Amy: That’s not going to happen.
WAV: But I really want to hear it.
Angie: I don’t think we have it.
WAV: But…but…I want him to sing it.
Amy: No. You should ask him to sing this great Christmas song. It’s called Purple Rain.
WAV: That’s not a Christmas song.
Amy: Sure it is.
WAV: He should stop being such a Scrooge.

She nudges me with her body.

WAV: Don’t you want him to sing a Christmas song?
DM: Look. He’s not going to sing it. He’s Jewish.

Beth later said she couldn’t believe I chose to say Jewish over Athiest but my reasoning was that I was not going to watch her try to convert Bryan. That would just be annoying.

WAV: He’s a Scrooge.
Amy: No. He’s Jewish. He’s not singing the Christmas song. Okay?

WAV finally wanders away. Bryan walks by. I tell him that he’s now Jewish. He nods. It doesn’t phase him at all. Later she shows up again when this guy is on stage singing something, she stands in front of him and starts shouting “Blame my Dad! It’s my Dad’s fault!” I think it had something to do with the song but I’m not positive because I can’t remember what he was singing.

Nicknames Du Jour

Later on, we realize that WAV and her group are gone.

DM: My God, she annoyed me.
Bryan: Yes. And unlike Dana, she needed batteries to make her shirt sparkly.
DM: I have a much better use for my batteries.

Bryan is speechless momentarily.

Bryan: When did Dana become evil?
Beth: She’s always been evil. You gave her the nickname Evil Dana.
DM: It comes from dating the Devil (long story short, Randall Flagg is my fake boyfriend).
Steve: *Says something about cloven hooves and a tail (can’t remember exactly what it was)*
DM: Once you’ve gone cloven, you never go back.

Somehow I get talked into singing Strokin’ by Clarence Carter. Both Angie and Beth turn the puppy dog eyes on me and convince me this is a good idea. It is not a good idea but our rotation is down to Angie, Amy, Beth and myself so what the hell – it’s new song Sunday again. I end up alternating between singing Strokin’ and Vibratin’ which is what Beth and Angie would yell up at me (Lisa Jo had sang it one night as Vibratin’ and it cracked us all up. We are so mature). I get to the part where Clarence Carter says how he knows how his woman is “sati’fied”( because she starts calling his name) and I substitute “Hurricane Dana.” Steve is pleased because he is the one that gave me the nickname Hurricane Dana in the first place.

Considering that I complained about not having a good nickname when I gave Keem her new name (Kim with drawn out “ee’s.” I like “ee’s”), I am fond of both of these and glad they were given to me. Even though they seem to indicate that I am destructive and evil and everyone knows that I am so sweet and wondrous and everyone loves me. Right? Right?! Why are you all cowering in the corner?

Men are stupid. Except for the Steves. Oh. Sorry about that, Craig.

I’m not really sure how we got on that subject or why who said it (Angie?) but it brings up another topic. After I don’t know how long, the boy shows up at karaoke, along with Pete and Guru and some other guy (not Mullet Man). They stay up at the bar (yay about Pete and Guru, boo about the boy) and do not approach or acknowledge us. Beth had invited Steve 2 (her team lead) up to karaoke and I was really hoping that he would show up while the boy was still there. And he did. I did a subtle chair switch with Steve 2 so that he could sit across from Beth (subtle because I was sitting in the middle and there was an open chair next to me and if Steve 2 sat there, Gil couldn’t sit next to me (which didn’t work)) and I was hoping that the boy would notice that a) Steve 2 is very cute and b) attentive to Beth (disclaimer – in a non-romantic way because they are friends and she is his boss but hey, the boy doesn’t know that, right?) and then would c) gnash and grind his teeth in frustration because he is slow like molasses and never asked Beth out.

Hey, I never said I couldn’t be petty at times. I don’t think it worked anyway. The boy and entourage left later. The boy said goodbye to Beth and I but that was it. Stupid boy. Does he not realize how great Beth is? Dang him. He doesn’t deserve her. Pete and Guru said nothing. We think that P&G may be afraid of Beth. Sweet.

For some reason, I decided it would be fun to play with Steve 2’s sideburn. I’m not sure why. But it was kind of fun, sort of like touching a crew cut but not. Beth, who is extremely ticklish, started giggling. She will giggle if you pretend to tickle her.

Gil was there but did not sit next to me. It was very sad.

More evidence that we are part of the cool table

Matt and James arrived and so did Liz. I gave Bryan and Liz their Christmas presents. They collect globes and maps and I found an ostrich egg that was decoupaged into a globe on eBay. It is very cool looking. I also got Theo (their dog) a lacrosse like scoop thing that you can use to throw a tennis ball. It is the perfect gift because Theo loves to play fetch but the ball is always slimy when he brings it back. I told them that the scoop thing was from Eddy in an effort to foster good cat/dog relations.

Matt invited both Beth and I to his birthday party in a few weeks. We are very excited about this. The oddness that we are excited about hanging out with a bunch of comic book geeks and refer to them as the cool group has not escaped us.

Um, is there more? I’m not sure. Beth? Am I missing anything? I’m sure I am.

Oh, forgot something.

Football season. Yay.

So I got to overhear two arguments about football (or hockey. Maybe one was about hockey) on Sunday. One was while I was in the bathroom working on my makeup and I could hear people yelling and telling one of the people that they were going to drive him home because of his horrible comment (don’t remember what it was but it was about FOOTBALL! Who cares?) and someone might have left but then came back.

The other one was this guy that was sitting at the bar and talking to Bobby. I had gone up to pay the tab and he was babbling about football and I could have cared less. Liz had said something about him and I said “Yeah, he’s talking about football. How exciting.”

When suddenly he said “And then she gave him a lap dance” very loudly.

DM: Huh. Maybe they are not talking about football anymore.
Liz: Well, they could be. You know (referring to the whole Vikings controversy about the sex ship, etc).
DM: True. It would certainly make football games a little more interesting.

Okay, I’m tired. Need to go to bed. Only 3 more days and then I have a three day weekend. Thank God. I am going to love being able to sleep in Monday morning after going to karaoke on Sunday. Because, yes, where else would you go after your family festivities on Christmas? The Chalet, of course!

I know, I know. I am way behind on the karaoke posts. Please see Beth’s blog for her post on the last couple of times, it’s mainly pictures. I swear she is just waiting for me to post so she can correct me on what I was wrong about. For example, Shawn? Yeah, he’s not the drunkest man in the world, he’s the drunkest man in puppet land (we had a minor disagreement about this and she had Bryan come over and tell me this. And then Marion & Reverend James both told me that this was right). Which, hello, what the hell does that mean? That makes about as much sense as, well, um, my being called Hurricane Dana. I’m actually quite glad that she corrects me. My hearing is not the greatest & sometimes I have to have people repeat things once or twice (or sometimes three times) before I get what they are saying. There have been times that I still don’t know what was said but will nod and smile (usually these times are when Gil is in the vicinity & I am distracted by him).

Anyway, the last post about karaoke is here, this was Thursday night karaoke, November 17, 2005. On the following Sunday, November 20, we got there and saw Angie-Ang and Sarah. They had already pulled a table together and we laughed about how, even if it was dead, we’d probably have random strangers sitting with us. I was hungry and decided to order a taco salad. Seriously, if you’re not a big karaoke fan, you should just come to the Chalet for the taco salad. It was delicious. Amy came in a little later.

It was New Song Sunday, always fun. In the spirit of the evening, some weird things were said to Bryan. In one case, Sarah was going up to sing and called Bryan “Big Papa Pump.” We are just as confused as you. The other situation was when Bryan was supposed to be singing a new song and quit, claiming that it was too hard or that he didn’t know it well enough or something lame like that. Angie yelled out “You booger!” Feeling that wasn’t enough, she decided to add “You fucking fornicator.”

Jason was there with some other people. I recognize one of them but can’t think of what his name is. Jason owns a car that is modeled after the car in Ghost Busters. Because of this, Angie sang the theme song. Jason also got into the spirit of New Song Sunday and told us what he would like to do next week (tomorrow) is have us do a Weird Al Yankovich tribute. He said he would print the lyrics up and we would sing the songs from the lyrics. It would be fun to try so we’ll see if he is there. It would be nice, he is very funny and not hard on the eyes.

For some reason, probably just to torture me, it was decided that “Hey, there’s five New Kids on the Block songs. We should sing them all!” To say that I was less than pleased is a slight understatement. But this is what I get for being friends with people who from a different generation than me. I think I was about twenty or so when New Kids came out, the beginning of the horror known as the boy bands and I could never stand them. Rather listen to the Beatles, thanks.

Liz and James soon joined us. I think Matt might have been there but I’m not really sure. It was a great evening. Beth drove me home and we made plans for the third annual night before Thanksgiving karaoke to take place at Wild Tymes. This is the bar we had originally met Bryan and Dean at. I was given much crap over the fact that I missed last year’s event by setting my alarm for 11 AM instead of 11 PM so Beth was waiting for me outside for quite a lot of time. I feel incredibly guilty about this. So I knew I had to make sure that I showed up.

We walked into the place and it was packed. Wild Tymes is set up where the karaoke area is in one part of the bar, the other area is mainly for food and drinking. The first person we saw was Denean (sp?), I hadn’t seen her in two years so it was nice to see her. Although she called me Deanna. Oh, well. The next person we saw was Dean.

People I haven’t seen since I left the main NABABNA center came up. There was Luke, Craig, his wife Carleen, Shawn and Patrick. When Beth and I found a table, I noticed a man and thought he looked familiar. My exact words were “I know him. Why do I know him? I know his name is Ramon. Where do I know him from?” Beth’s response was “I don’t know. Are you stalking him?”

When I went up to sing, he looked at me and waved. So obviously I wasn’t hallucinating. I did know him. But where? Finally, Beth got frustrated with my asking myself outloud where I knew him from and waved him over. Turns out he used to work at NABABNA with me. As soon as he mentioned his supervisor, I placed him immediately. But what was even cooler was that he said, “Oh, yeah, Tiri’s here.” And Tiri turned around. Beth and I were both excited to see him as well. Ramon had worked days so Beth had never met him but Tiri worked a mid-shift so we both knew him.

It was very crowded and busy but we had a lot of fun singing. We only got to sing two songs each but you expect that when you are in a busy place. Neither Beth or I are prima donnas and are quite easy-going. You would be surprised at how many people in the karaoke world are high maintence and get mad at the host for imagined slights. It is kind of interesting listening to Angie and Bryan exchange horror stories.

But it is 5 PM and I need to take a brief nap and get ready for tonight. I will try to update more tomorrow if it is slow. Have a good evening!

Went to karaoke last night with Beth and had a great time, as usual. Since I am somewhat broken (how I refer to being without money), Beth came to pick me up. When she called to wake me up, I answered the phone before I turned off the CPAP machine (I did take it off my face first).

DM: Hello.
B: Hi. What is that noise?
DM: Oh! I forgot to turn off the CPAP machine.
B: I just heard this (makes whoosing sound) noise.
DM: Well, they do call me Hurricane Dana.

Since Beth worked until 11:00 PM, we got up to the Chalet at about midnight? I think. I wasn’t paying that much attention, having too much fun catching up with Beth on what happened in our week. It was dead.

We asked Joe Funko and the people at his table if there was anyone sitting at the table behind them. They said no and so we quickly cleared off the table in preparation to sit down. Alas, someone had been sitting there and I may have thrown away a beer that was about half full. Oh, well. I don’t like beer. We moved to another table.

The rotation was very small. There was a woman there that Joe refers to as 12 Tooth, the woman that I referred to once as “Scary Anorexic Woman.” She was butchering “Nobody” by Sylvia, a song I sometimes sing as my warm-up song. I, being a Bad Dana, wanted to sing it directly after her just to show her how it should be sung. I did not because that would be mean and I may be a Bad Dana but I am not an Evil Dana. I sung “Change The World” instead, as usual. Some guy with a mullet (the one whose beer I threw away (oops)) sang “Bed of Roses.” It was, well, horrible.

Steve came up and we were exchanging stories while waiting for our turns to sing. He and Beth also talked about work (Steve is her team lead) and it is fun to watch how they interact with each other. They are both very excited about their team and it shows. I think they must be a fantastic supervisor and team lead to work for. Not that I could because they are my friends but still. Steve sang “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash and he rocked.

Beth and I proved to Steve that “Take On Me” by A-Ha is the hardest song in the book. He didn’t believe us and decided to try singing it. We did not laugh at him when he struggled with the high notes. Much.

Joe was very amusing last night. When Mullet Man was singing, he started conducting an imaginary orchestra. It was hilarious. He was also attacked by a woman who could be 12 Tooth’s mother but we’re not sure. She heard Joe mention Neil Diamond (or I did, not sure) and she gravitated to Joe’s table and wouldn’t leave him alone. Finally, I called over to him and told him I needed to ask him a question. When he came over, I told him that I was rescuing him. He was quite grateful and ended up sitting by us for most of the night.

Liz came up and joined us for awhile. Keem had asked me why Beth and I were going to karaoke so late because we wouldn’t have much time to sing. I explained to her that the most important part of karaoke isn’t karaoke but the “After Karaoke.” When we sit and talk about life and love and friendship and weird things that might have happened to us in our lives.

Which is where the title comes from. Somehow, I am not sure, we were talking and I mentioned something that has bothered me since I was a youngster. It was tragic.

DM: I had a pet rock.
B: Wait. Did you just say you had a pet rock?
DM: Yes. He ran away.
B (silently laughing at my pain): Did you set him on a hill?
DM: Yes. And there were a bunch of other rocks so I couldn’t find him.
B: You didn’t think of just picking up another rock?
DM: That wouldn’t be the same. And it would be weird calling his name because it’s not like he could answer me.
B: You so need to blog this.
DM: Yes. And I could say that this is why I need Effexor. Because of tragedies like this. Such as the time my pet Super Ball ran away.

I do not remember what my pet rock’s name was. I bought him at a garage sale for a dollar. The Super Ball’s name was Herman (this may have been after Herman Munster but I’m not sure). He ran away twice. The first time I was able to catch him but the 2nd time he bounced away into a storm train. Tragic.

Steve told us a story about how he was stalked by a white van when he was kid and it really freaked him out. It turned out that it was a newspaper reporter who saw Steve riding his bike to the baby-sitter’s with a bunch of BALLOONS! tied to his bike and they took his picture and wanted to get his name.

Do you have any stories about weird/comic tragic events in your childhood? Please share.

Today is Halloween. I have mentioned before that this is my 2nd favorite holiday of the year. I will use any excuse to make a spectacle of myself so Halloween is a great day for me to embrace my inner dork. So I used this as an excuse to dress up for karaoke last night. Since last year’s appearance as the Queen of the Universe went over well at karaoke, I decided to repeat the costume.

After an exhausting day of scrapbooking on Saturday with Keem at our friend Julie’s house (where I was exposed to not one but two babies and was tempted to run through the streets begging for someone to impregnate me, the cuteness was so much more than I could bear) in Wisconsin, I spent Sunday doing absolutely nothing. I woke up, played online for a little bit, went back to bed, woke up again, played online a little bit, went back to bed to nap so I was prepared for the evening ahead of me. At approximately 6:30, I swear I heard Keem call my name using her authoritative voice. I jumped out of bed and walked to her room and asked her why she called me. Apparently, she did not call me. I had been dreaming. However, since I was up, this was the perfect time to dye my hair (the roots were driving me insane).

While I was waiting for the hair dye to set, I decided to put my plastic shower cap on. I was standing in front of the mirror, admiring the shower cap (which was only purchased because it has frogs on it) and had a thought. How about wearing my Queen of the Universe outfit but pair it up with the shower cap and my frog slippers? I could be the Queen of the Universe on her day off! At that time, I would have been thrilled to have some of those pink velcro curlers but do not own any.

Beth called and let me know she was on her way. She also told me she forgot to dress up. I had a moment’s hesitation. There was a chance that I may be the only person dressed up for the holiday. Did I want to take that chance? Well, of course, I did. Surely someone would be filled with the Halloween spirit.

We were on our way to the Chalet when something weird happened. We had pulled up to our exit onto Rice Street off of 36. There was a red light. No big deal, right? Yeah. You would think that, wouldn’t you? But then you wouldn’t be sitting at the light for 9 minutes. The light on Rice Street stayed green the entire time. The only concession to the fact that the light might change was the flashing of the don’t walk sign. But don’t get too excited by that. Because it turns to don’t walk for all of 30 seconds and then turns back to walk. Can you say really, really annoying? I knew you could!

Finally Beth made a decision that will probably haunt her for the rest of her life. She ran the red light. So we decided her costume was that she’s a criminal (she looked very cute in her black jacket, flared jeans, salmon pink overshirt and light pink t-shirt but still – she’s a law BREAKER! Bad Beth (I would have probably run it about 5 minutes before she did so I really shouldn’t talk)), possibly on her way to a disco.

We arrived at karaoke and walked in and, yes, you guessed it, not a soul was dressed up. So I did garner a few glances. I did get asked by several people what I was supposed to be and one woman said that she might have to steal the idea. I was accompanied by Frug (large frog wearing a Santa hat and scarf. He was my date, the Frog Prince, dressed as Santa).

I asked Beth to call Angie and ask her to at least wear a angel halo or something so I wouldn’t feel like a complete idiot. Unfortunately, they had both just pulled up into the parking lot. Angie did call Steve and ask him to bring his boas up with him so she could wear them (she’s such a nice girl (Steve was Hulk Hogan for Halloween)).

Bryan walked in, looked at me in puzzlement and then said “Oh. Yeah, it’s Halloween. Okay.”

Nate and Becky came up as well. They had just returned from a trip to Texas. It was nice to see them again. Nate lives in Wisconsin and we don’t get to see him that often.

Okay, now for pictures. Now you’ll finally be able to put faces with names! Isn’t that exciting?

Here I am, singing “Change The World.” It is my warm up song. Notice the shower cap? You can’t tell but the frogs are wearing crowns and big lips. There are also lips and the words “Kiss Me” printed on the cap. Did anyone take the freakin’ hint? No. Well, Nate did kiss me on the cheek but he doesn’t count.

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Here is Beth. I believe she is singing “She Drives Me Crazy” but she sings it as “He Drives Me Crazy.” Because that is more fun.

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This is Nate and his girlfriend Becky. He is planning on proposing to her soon. I would say it was a secret but she’s pretty much figured it out because we keep staring at her ring finger every time we see her. I have no idea what they are laughing about but it’s probably Nate being silly again.

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Nate is singing…um, something? I think it might be “3 Days” but I’m not sure. I’m not even sure if that’s even the name of the song.

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This is Amy. She just had her hair done and it is fantastic. She has one of the most clear and pure voices that I have ever heard. She did not sing last night or stay for very long. This made us sad.

DM: I am the Queen of the Universe. I command you to sing.
Amy: It’s your day off. You can’t command me.
DM: Damn it!
B: Good one, Amy.

There was a weird guy sitting behind Amy and I that asked Amy to introduce him to Nate. Amy turned to him and said “Well, I would, if I knew who you were.” She is so very clever and I adore her.

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Here is another picture of Becky. Nate and Becky went to see some guy named Pat Green perform in Texas, the reason for the whole trip. While I was taking this picture, Nate leaned over.

N: She’s very pretty, isn’t she?
DM: Yes. She’s gorgeous.
N: You should see her naked.
DM: Uh, no. That’s okay.

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Here is Angie. She also has a spectacular voice. She just recently became a karaoke host as well. She also works as a technician in a vet’s office so Johnny, when you do come to America, you’ll have lots to talk about with her. She keeps using weird vet terms when we do the game (there are starting to be a lot of games at karaoke but this one is where Bryan thinks of a random word and we list random words. The person who is closest to his word gets to sing first. Angie’s word this week was prepuce. Apparently that was closest to parachute pants. Because they’re both scary, according to Bryan.

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I was trying to get a picture of her facing me. It didn’t work.

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This is Steve. He is a really good friend of Amy’s and she had the brainstorm about two months ago to introduce him to Angie. They hit it off really well and are so cute together. Steve is the one that gave me my nickname “Hurricane Dana” and said last night that he was so proud of himself for that nickname because it has stuck.

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Here Frug and I are dancing together. Beth, do you remember what song it was? He is a very good date. Doesn’t cause a lot of trouble, doesn’t get mad when other men hit on me (HAHAHAHA) and is a very good dancer. Frug is stroking my hair.

Behind us is the creepy guy that Amy brushed off. He walked behind me and rubbed my shoulders/back and kind of freaked me out. He did that to all of the women at the table. Dude. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch my friends. Don’t even breathe in our direction, okay?

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Beth is singing “All That Jazz.” Angie said she had to wear the boas for this song. Apparently the boas are itchy.

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We started picking out songs for each other, the prelude to Suicide Karaoke. I’m not sure who decided that Nate should sing “Strokin'” but he gave it his all. He started changing the words and Becky almost crawled under the table from embarrassment as Nate began exposing more and more details of their love life. It was hilarious.

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We soon started letting Bryan pick out our songs for us. This was a little interesting. He would flip to a page and then choose a song. It was actually a lot of fun.

This picture is from me singing “Superstar”. I had asked Gil last week what songs I should sing and he suggested “Rainy Days and Mondays” or “Superstar” from The Carpenters. I was somewhat familiar with the first song but not the second (or so I thought) but didn’t have time to sing the song. Not that I’m obsessive or anything but I did download both songs and have spent some time singing along with iTunes.

When I walked up onto the stage and “Superstar” came up, I was, naturally, somewhat stunned. How did Bryan choose this one song out of all of the songs in the book? It was not until after I sang the song that Beth told me she had asked Bryan to put in The Carpenters for me but not which song. Fortunately, although Gil was there, he was up at the bar at the time and not at our table. If he had been, I may have had some problems singing the song, especially the chorus, which pretty much has a lot of baby, baby, babies and I love you’s in them. Not going to sing that while looking at him, thanks. That would be bad.

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Dean was there! He is clapping for me.

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Dean ended up having to sing “It’s Raining Men” because he had quit the first song that Bryan choose for him. He was quite the good sport about it.

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Bryan was sort of singing along with Dean. Or mocking him. Not sure which exactly.

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It was a great night. Liz and James were there as well, sorry, no pictures. Since they weren’t singing, I forgot to take pictures of them. Maybe another night.

Suicide Karaoke is much fun, if a little scary. Our rotation consisted of 4 people for the majority of the night.

The highlight of the evening (and the most confusing part because, hello, what the hell do you mean by this?) is when Gil said, as he was leaving, “Great costume. Sorry I didn’t get to see you glow in the dark.” ARGH! What does that mean? Probably nothing.

Beth and I had a fairly uneventful ride home, except for the idiot that was on the wrong side of the road and was headed head on for us (fortunately he turned). Perhaps he thought he was in London instead of Saint Paul? There were no possessed traffic lights, just laughter and music as we talked about the night.

My Mom should be up here in a few weeks. Looking forward to dragging her up to karaoke and taking pictures of that.

Hope you all had a spooktacular Halloween!

So my memory? Not the greatest. Beth picked me up last night for karaoke and I had mentioned the post about going to Manny’s (that no one commented on except for myself (it looked lonely)) and she said “Yeah, I read it. You’re not really good at quoting me. Or yourself.” And I said “Really? Did I quote you wrong?” And she said “Yes, considering I’m the one that pointed out the supermarket.” And I’m pretty sure I said “Oops.” But I don’t remember. You could ask Beth. She remembers these things much better than me.

We went to a new restaurant last night (new to us) called Potbelly. The name of the place struck us a little odd. Beth thought it was indicating that they made people fat, I thought it was referring to potbelly pigs. Turns out that it is named for potbelly stoves. Which strikes me as odd but probably not as odd as a restaurant that is saying “hey, come eat some food and get fat like a pig.”

Beth should be posting a conversation with her mother that she had while we were at the restaurant. I will not say much about it other than, at one point, listening to Beth’s side of the conversation, I ended up covering my mouth with a napkin and trying very hard not to laugh hysterically. There may have been tears of laughter.

We avoided the evil temptations of Barnes & Noble and Michael’s (books and scrapbooking supplies. We are very strong women) and headed off to karaoke. We got there fairly early and it was remarked on by both Jamie (bartender) and Bryan (karaoke host (like I don’t talk about him all the time)). Beth had 5 days off this week so we thought it would be fun to go up early.

Karaoke got started (yay!) and we were amused to see a semi-regular singer come in. This is the man that I mentioned back when I wrote about Quagna and how my true love was from South Africa and may or may not be gay. He is quite a character and I want so much to give you his nickname but I am worried that someday he might Google it and find my blog and then I would feel evil and that would just be wrong.

I called Steve, Beth’s team lead and told him that he should come up because a) this guy (let’s call him Walking Wally) is hilarious when he sings (imagine a short, rotund man, balding, with suspenders on stage and bouncing around with the actions to the songs. Imagine that said man is using a microphone stand and starts singing Pinball Wizard. Imagine he acts that he is playing a pinball machine. It is so very funny) and b) Beth really wanted to know what was happening at work because she is very odd and dedicated to her job and quite possibly the best manager ever (not that I’m biased or anything) but she didn’t want to call him and ask him about work (when we were in Portugal, she kept hoping that Andy (her former boss) would email her about the team).

Unfortunately, Walking Wally only sang one song and left. We felt horrible about getting Steve there under somewhat false circumstances but it was still nice to see him and he and Beth had a good talk and caught up on everything. She will not see him again until November.

At one point, after Steve had left (or maybe before, I’m not so good with the memory thing), I have a burning question that I must ask Beth.

DM: What should I sing next?
B: Chicken (said loudly and in a somewhat comical voice)!
DM: I don’t know that song.
B: You could just sing ‘Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!’ And then they would put you in the looney bin.

Great. One of my best friends ever wants me to be committed.

Bryan was doing something with the microphone stand when he called Joe Funko up to sing. It moved when he wasn’t expecting it and he sort of leaned/jumped back from the mic.

Bryan: I’m like a mime.
B: That talks.
Bryan: Yeah (He then starts doing the classic “mime caught in a box” routine). This is the biggest box I have ever seen.

When we started getting towards the end of the night, Bryan decided we would play a new game. It would be like Match Game (I am assuming this was a game show of some sort) and the person singing would choose 3 celebrities (that would be us from the audience) to give them a song to sing. Then the singer would choose which of those songs they were going to sing.

Shawn decided to sing “Beth”, much to Beth’s dismay. She is not overly fond of this song (double our reaction to “Picture” and you’ve got a good idea of her dislike)

I have been trying to get Bryan to sing “Candy Man” for, well, ever since the last time he sang it. He does an imitation of Sammy Davis Jr that is just hilarious and I love it. So every time someone asked me what they should sing I would yell out “Candy Man!” After I did this twice, Bryan said “Don’t ask Dana. You know what she is going to say.”

Mr. Dimsdale (I have no idea what his first name is. Bryan refers to him this way and to Mr. Dimsdale’s wife as Bopocito. I suppose that isn’t so odd, considering that I now go by Hurricane Dana) was called up and the game was explained to him.

Mr. D: How about that lovely lady there (points at me).
Bryan: Don’t ask Dana! She’s going to say ‘Candy Man!’
DM: ‘Candy Man!’

Mr. Dimsdale asks two other people and decides that “Candy Man” is the lesser of the 3 evils. He does a pretty good job of it. Not like Bryan’s version but still, it made me happy. And that is what is important, right?

Later on, when Bopocito was called up, she asked me what she should sing. I drew a complete blank.

Bryan: Ha! Don’t know what to say now that someone sang ‘Candy Man,’ do you?

I ended up suggesting “Purple Rain.”

The closer we got to closing time, the less time we had to sing. Instead of just having one or two people sing full songs, Bryan decided to continue with the game and limit us to one minute. This is how I ended up singing “Saturday In the Park” and Beth ended up singing “Playing With the Queen of Hearts.” This game is a lot of fun and really exposes us to a lot of different songs, especially songs we probably would not have tried before.

Liz came over and we had a good time talking to her. As if it would be possible to not have a good time. She has never been to Manny’s and Beth and I decided that when she and Bryan get married, we will take them there.

In other news, I am going to try making some changes to my blog. I found a couple of websites that have free templates for Blogger and I think I need a new look. Of course I forgot to email the ones I had narrowed it down to (only five or six to choose from) to myself from work and I may wait until Monday. Or not.

Tomorrow Keem and I are going to go scrapbook/stamp (haven’t decided yet) at a work friend’s house. That should be fun. And Sunday is karaoke. Even better than being karaoke? It’s the Sunday before Halloween. Rock on. You know I will be dressing up.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

So my memory? Not the greatest. Beth picked me up last night for karaoke and I had mentioned the post about going to Manny’s (that no one commented on except for myself (it looked lonely)) and she said “Yeah, I read it. You’re not really good at quoting me. Or yourself.” And I said “Really? Did I quote you wrong?” And she said “Yes, considering I’m the one that pointed out the supermarket.” And I’m pretty sure I said “Oops.” But I don’t remember. You could ask Beth. She remembers these things much better than me.

We went to a new restaurant last night (new to us) called Potbelly. The name of the place struck us a little odd. Beth thought it was indicating that they made people fat, I thought it was referring to potbelly pigs. Turns out that it is named for potbelly stoves. Which strikes me as odd but probably not as odd as a restaurant that is saying “hey, come eat some food and get fat like a pig.”

Beth should be posting a conversation with her mother that she had while we were at the restaurant. I will not say much about it other than, at one point, listening to Beth’s side of the conversation, I ended up covering my mouth with a napkin and trying very hard not to laugh hysterically. There may have been tears of laughter.

We avoided the evil temptations of Barnes & Noble and Michael’s (books and scrapbooking supplies. We are very strong women) and headed off to karaoke. We got there fairly early and it was remarked on by both Jamie (bartender) and Bryan (karaoke host (like I don’t talk about him all the time)). Beth had 5 days off this week so we thought it would be fun to go up early.

Karaoke got started (yay!) and we were amused to see a semi-regular singer come in. This is the man that I mentioned back when I wrote about Quagna and how my true love was from South Africa and may or may not be gay. He is quite a character and I want so much to give you his nickname but I am worried that someday he might Google it and find my blog and then I would feel evil and that would just be wrong.

I called Steve, Beth’s team lead and told him that he should come up because a) this guy (let’s call him Walking Wally) is hilarious when he sings (imagine a short, rotund man, balding, with suspenders on stage and bouncing around with the actions to the songs. Imagine that said man is using a microphone stand and starts singing Pinball Wizard. Imagine he acts that he is playing a pinball machine. It is so very funny) and b) Beth really wanted to know what was happening at work because she is very odd and dedicated to her job and quite possibly the best manager ever (not that I’m biased or anything) but she didn’t want to call him and ask him about work (when we were in Portugal, she kept hoping that Andy (her former boss) would email her about the team).

Unfortunately, Walking Wally only sang one song and left. We felt horrible about getting Steve there under somewhat false circumstances but it was still nice to see him and he and Beth had a good talk and caught up on everything. She will not see him again until November.

At one point, after Steve had left (or maybe before, I’m not so good with the memory thing), I have a burning question that I must ask Beth.

DM: What should I sing next?
B: Chicken (said loudly and in a somewhat comical voice)!
DM: I don’t know that song.
B: You could just sing ‘Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!’ And then they would put you in the looney bin.

Great. One of my best friends ever wants me to be committed.

Bryan was doing something with the microphone stand when he called Joe Funko up to sing. It moved when he wasn’t expecting it and he sort of leaned/jumped back from the mic.

Bryan: I’m like a mime.
B: That talks.
Bryan: Yeah (He then starts doing the classic “mime caught in a box” routine). This is the biggest box I have ever seen.

When we started getting towards the end of the night, Bryan decided we would play a new game. It would be like Match Game (I am assuming this was a game show of some sort) and the person singing would choose 3 celebrities (that would be us from the audience) to give them a song to sing. Then the singer would choose which of those songs they were going to sing.

Shawn decided to sing “Beth”, much to Beth’s dismay. She is not overly fond of this song (double our reaction to “Picture” and you’ve got a good idea of her dislike)

I have been trying to get Bryan to sing “Candy Man” for, well, ever since the last time he sang it. He does an imitation of Sammy Davis Jr that is just hilarious and I love it. So every time someone asked me what they should sing I would yell out “Candy Man!” After I did this twice, Bryan said “Don’t ask Dana. You know what she is going to say.”

Mr. Dimsdale (I have no idea what his first name is. Bryan refers to him this way and to Mr. Dimsdale’s wife as Bopocito. I suppose that isn’t so odd, considering that I now go by Hurricane Dana) was called up and the game was explained to him.

Mr. D: How about that lovely lady there (points at me).
Bryan: Don’t ask Dana! She’s going to say ‘Candy Man!’
DM: ‘Candy Man!’

Mr. Dimsdale asks two other people and decides that “Candy Man” is the lesser of the 3 evils. He does a pretty good job of it. Not like Bryan’s version but still, it made me happy. And that is what is important, right?

Later on, when Bopocito was called up, she asked me what she should sing. I drew a complete blank.

Bryan: Ha! Don’t know what to say now that someone sang ‘Candy Man,’ do you?

I ended up suggesting “Purple Rain.”

The closer we got to closing time, the less time we had to sing. Instead of just having one or two people sing full songs, Bryan decided to continue with the game and limit us to one minute. This is how I ended up singing “Saturday In the Park” and Beth ended up singing “Playing With the Queen of Hearts.” This game is a lot of fun and really exposes us to a lot of different songs, especially songs we probably would not have tried before.

Liz came over and we had a good time talking to her. As if it would be possible to not have a good time. She has never been to Manny’s and Beth and I decided that when she and Bryan get married, we will take them there.

In other news, I am going to try making some changes to my blog. I found a couple of websites that have free templates for Blogger and I think I need a new look. Of course I forgot to email the ones I had narrowed it down to (only five or six to choose from) to myself from work and I may wait until Monday. Or not.

Tomorrow Keem and I are going to go scrapbook/stamp (haven’t decided yet) at a work friend’s house. That should be fun. And Sunday is karaoke. Even better than being karaoke? It’s the Sunday before Halloween. Rock on. You know I will be dressing up.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

So my memory? Not the greatest. Beth picked me up last night for karaoke and I had mentioned the post about going to Manny’s (that no one commented on except for myself (it looked lonely)) and she said “Yeah, I read it. You’re not really good at quoting me. Or yourself.” And I said “Really? Did I quote you wrong?” And she said “Yes, considering I’m the one that pointed out the supermarket.” And I’m pretty sure I said “Oops.” But I don’t remember. You could ask Beth. She remembers these things much better than me.

We went to a new restaurant last night (new to us) called Potbelly. The name of the place struck us a little odd. Beth thought it was indicating that they made people fat, I thought it was referring to potbelly pigs. Turns out that it is named for potbelly stoves. Which strikes me as odd but probably not as odd as a restaurant that is saying “hey, come eat some food and get fat like a pig.”

Beth should be posting a conversation with her mother that she had while we were at the restaurant. I will not say much about it other than, at one point, listening to Beth’s side of the conversation, I ended up covering my mouth with a napkin and trying very hard not to laugh hysterically. There may have been tears of laughter.

We avoided the evil temptations of Barnes & Noble and Michael’s (books and scrapbooking supplies. We are very strong women) and headed off to karaoke. We got there fairly early and it was remarked on by both Jamie (bartender) and Bryan (karaoke host (like I don’t talk about him all the time)). Beth had 5 days off this week so we thought it would be fun to go up early.

Karaoke got started (yay!) and we were amused to see a semi-regular singer come in. This is the man that I mentioned back when I wrote about Quagna and how my true love was from South Africa and may or may not be gay. He is quite a character and I want so much to give you his nickname but I am worried that someday he might Google it and find my blog and then I would feel evil and that would just be wrong.

I called Steve, Beth’s team lead and told him that he should come up because a) this guy (let’s call him Walking Wally) is hilarious when he sings (imagine a short, rotund man, balding, with suspenders on stage and bouncing around with the actions to the songs. Imagine that said man is using a microphone stand and starts singing Pinball Wizard. Imagine he acts that he is playing a pinball machine. It is so very funny) and b) Beth really wanted to know what was happening at work because she is very odd and dedicated to her job and quite possibly the best manager ever (not that I’m biased or anything) but she didn’t want to call him and ask him about work (when we were in Portugal, she kept hoping that Andy (her former boss) would email her about the team).

Unfortunately, Walking Wally only sang one song and left. We felt horrible about getting Steve there under somewhat false circumstances but it was still nice to see him and he and Beth had a good talk and caught up on everything. She will not see him again until November.

At one point, after Steve had left (or maybe before, I’m not so good with the memory thing), I have a burning question that I must ask Beth.

DM: What should I sing next?
B: Chicken (said loudly and in a somewhat comical voice)!
DM: I don’t know that song.
B: You could just sing ‘Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!’ And then they would put you in the looney bin.

Great. One of my best friends ever wants me to be committed.

Bryan was doing something with the microphone stand when he called Joe Funko up to sing. It moved when he wasn’t expecting it and he sort of leaned/jumped back from the mic.

Bryan: I’m like a mime.
B: That talks.
Bryan: Yeah (He then starts doing the classic “mime caught in a box” routine). This is the biggest box I have ever seen.

When we started getting towards the end of the night, Bryan decided we would play a new game. It would be like Match Game (I am assuming this was a game show of some sort) and the person singing would choose 3 celebrities (that would be us from the audience) to give them a song to sing. Then the singer would choose which of those songs they were going to sing.

Shawn decided to sing “Beth”, much to Beth’s dismay. She is not overly fond of this song (double our reaction to “Picture” and you’ve got a good idea of her dislike)

I have been trying to get Bryan to sing “Candy Man” for, well, ever since the last time he sang it. He does an imitation of Sammy Davis Jr that is just hilarious and I love it. So every time someone asked me what they should sing I would yell out “Candy Man!” After I did this twice, Bryan said “Don’t ask Dana. You know what she is going to say.”

Mr. Dimsdale (I have no idea what his first name is. Bryan refers to him this way and to Mr. Dimsdale’s wife as Bopocito. I suppose that isn’t so odd, considering that I now go by Hurricane Dana) was called up and the game was explained to him.

Mr. D: How about that lovely lady there (points at me).
Bryan: Don’t ask Dana! She’s going to say ‘Candy Man!’
DM: ‘Candy Man!’

Mr. Dimsdale asks two other people and decides that “Candy Man” is the lesser of the 3 evils. He does a pretty good job of it. Not like Bryan’s version but still, it made me happy. And that is what is important, right?

Later on, when Bopocito was called up, she asked me what she should sing. I drew a complete blank.

Bryan: Ha! Don’t know what to say now that someone sang ‘Candy Man,’ do you?

I ended up suggesting “Purple Rain.”

The closer we got to closing time, the less time we had to sing. Instead of just having one or two people sing full songs, Bryan decided to continue with the game and limit us to one minute. This is how I ended up singing “Saturday In the Park” and Beth ended up singing “Playing With the Queen of Hearts.” This game is a lot of fun and really exposes us to a lot of different songs, especially songs we probably would not have tried before.

Liz came over and we had a good time talking to her. As if it would be possible to not have a good time. She has never been to Manny’s and Beth and I decided that when she and Bryan get married, we will take them there.

In other news, I am going to try making some changes to my blog. I found a couple of websites that have free templates for Blogger and I think I need a new look. Of course I forgot to email the ones I had narrowed it down to (only five or six to choose from) to myself from work and I may wait until Monday. Or not.

Tomorrow Keem and I are going to go scrapbook/stamp (haven’t decided yet) at a work friend’s house. That should be fun. And Sunday is karaoke. Even better than being karaoke? It’s the Sunday before Halloween. Rock on. You know I will be dressing up.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

So my memory? Not the greatest. Beth picked me up last night for karaoke and I had mentioned the post about going to Manny’s (that no one commented on except for myself (it looked lonely)) and she said “Yeah, I read it. You’re not really good at quoting me. Or yourself.” And I said “Really? Did I quote you wrong?” And she said “Yes, considering I’m the one that pointed out the supermarket.” And I’m pretty sure I said “Oops.” But I don’t remember. You could ask Beth. She remembers these things much better than me.

We went to a new restaurant last night (new to us) called Potbelly. The name of the place struck us a little odd. Beth thought it was indicating that they made people fat, I thought it was referring to potbelly pigs. Turns out that it is named for potbelly stoves. Which strikes me as odd but probably not as odd as a restaurant that is saying “hey, come eat some food and get fat like a pig.”

Beth should be posting a conversation with her mother that she had while we were at the restaurant. I will not say much about it other than, at one point, listening to Beth’s side of the conversation, I ended up covering my mouth with a napkin and trying very hard not to laugh hysterically. There may have been tears of laughter.

We avoided the evil temptations of Barnes & Noble and Michael’s (books and scrapbooking supplies. We are very strong women) and headed off to karaoke. We got there fairly early and it was remarked on by both Jamie (bartender) and Bryan (karaoke host (like I don’t talk about him all the time)). Beth had 5 days off this week so we thought it would be fun to go up early.

Karaoke got started (yay!) and we were amused to see a semi-regular singer come in. This is the man that I mentioned back when I wrote about Quagna and how my true love was from South Africa and may or may not be gay. He is quite a character and I want so much to give you his nickname but I am worried that someday he might Google it and find my blog and then I would feel evil and that would just be wrong.

I called Steve, Beth’s team lead and told him that he should come up because a) this guy (let’s call him Walking Wally) is hilarious when he sings (imagine a short, rotund man, balding, with suspenders on stage and bouncing around with the actions to the songs. Imagine that said man is using a microphone stand and starts singing Pinball Wizard. Imagine he acts that he is playing a pinball machine. It is so very funny) and b) Beth really wanted to know what was happening at work because she is very odd and dedicated to her job and quite possibly the best manager ever (not that I’m biased or anything) but she didn’t want to call him and ask him about work (when we were in Portugal, she kept hoping that Andy (her former boss) would email her about the team).

Unfortunately, Walking Wally only sang one song and left. We felt horrible about getting Steve there under somewhat false circumstances but it was still nice to see him and he and Beth had a good talk and caught up on everything. She will not see him again until November.

At one point, after Steve had left (or maybe before, I’m not so good with the memory thing), I have a burning question that I must ask Beth.

DM: What should I sing next?
B: Chicken (said loudly and in a somewhat comical voice)!
DM: I don’t know that song.
B: You could just sing ‘Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!’ And then they would put you in the looney bin.

Great. One of my best friends ever wants me to be committed.

Bryan was doing something with the microphone stand when he called Joe Funko up to sing. It moved when he wasn’t expecting it and he sort of leaned/jumped back from the mic.

Bryan: I’m like a mime.
B: That talks.
Bryan: Yeah (He then starts doing the classic “mime caught in a box” routine). This is the biggest box I have ever seen.

When we started getting towards the end of the night, Bryan decided we would play a new game. It would be like Match Game (I am assuming this was a game show of some sort) and the person singing would choose 3 celebrities (that would be us from the audience) to give them a song to sing. Then the singer would choose which of those songs they were going to sing.

Shawn decided to sing “Beth”, much to Beth’s dismay. She is not overly fond of this song (double our reaction to “Picture” and you’ve got a good idea of her dislike)

I have been trying to get Bryan to sing “Candy Man” for, well, ever since the last time he sang it. He does an imitation of Sammy Davis Jr that is just hilarious and I love it. So every time someone asked me what they should sing I would yell out “Candy Man!” After I did this twice, Bryan said “Don’t ask Dana. You know what she is going to say.”

Mr. Dimsdale (I have no idea what his first name is. Bryan refers to him this way and to Mr. Dimsdale’s wife as Bopocito. I suppose that isn’t so odd, considering that I now go by Hurricane Dana) was called up and the game was explained to him.

Mr. D: How about that lovely lady there (points at me).
Bryan: Don’t ask Dana! She’s going to say ‘Candy Man!’
DM: ‘Candy Man!’

Mr. Dimsdale asks two other people and decides that “Candy Man” is the lesser of the 3 evils. He does a pretty good job of it. Not like Bryan’s version but still, it made me happy. And that is what is important, right?

Later on, when Bopocito was called up, she asked me what she should sing. I drew a complete blank.

Bryan: Ha! Don’t know what to say now that someone sang ‘Candy Man,’ do you?

I ended up suggesting “Purple Rain.”

The closer we got to closing time, the less time we had to sing. Instead of just having one or two people sing full songs, Bryan decided to continue with the game and limit us to one minute. This is how I ended up singing “Saturday In the Park” and Beth ended up singing “Playing With the Queen of Hearts.” This game is a lot of fun and really exposes us to a lot of different songs, especially songs we probably would not have tried before.

Liz came over and we had a good time talking to her. As if it would be possible to not have a good time. She has never been to Manny’s and Beth and I decided that when she and Bryan get married, we will take them there.

In other news, I am going to try making some changes to my blog. I found a couple of websites that have free templates for Blogger and I think I need a new look. Of course I forgot to email the ones I had narrowed it down to (only five or six to choose from) to myself from work and I may wait until Monday. Or not.

Tomorrow Keem and I are going to go scrapbook/stamp (haven’t decided yet) at a work friend’s house. That should be fun. And Sunday is karaoke. Even better than being karaoke? It’s the Sunday before Halloween. Rock on. You know I will be dressing up.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

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