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So I apologize for not being around lately.  I have been very very busy at work and running around at lunch, which is the easiest time for me to read blogs and also dazzle you with the excitement that is my life.

About that excitement, yeah, nothing much going on around here.  Although I did go see the BEST MOVIE EVER (Star Trek) with Beth and had a scrapbook weekend with her as well.  We also went to the Minneapolis Farmer’s Market where I was impressed and pleased with the bounty presented to us.  There will be pictures, once I figure out what I did with my cord thingy that lets me upload the pictures to my computer.

Got back last night from La Crosse.  Was amused by the cute kid story I was told by Eric.  Apparently he and Josh were wandering through the skyway this weekend.

Josh:  I’m hungry.
Eric:  I don’t have any money.  Sorry.
Josh:  Don’t worry, Daddy.  I’ll pay.

With that, he whips out Eric’s bank card.  Um, yeah.  Apparently he also has a habit of taking Eric’s driver’s license as well.  I am imagining a time when Eric gets pulled over and has to explain he doesn’t have his license, his kid is playing with it.

I expect to get caught up with blogs this week.  I hope.  I also hope you are all well and have had an exciting Memorial Day as well.  Now go see Star Trek.  This movie made me fall even more in love with Captain Kirk.  And gain a new appreciation for Spock.  Plus, the guy that plays Bones?  Hot.


This weekend marked an official scrapbooking extravaganza of the year at Beth’s house.  If you are wondering what makes it an extravaganza, that would be if I have an additional day off (Monday).

As always, spending time with Beth is filled with silliness and laughter.  We watched South Park, Lost and the most recent episode of CSI:  It was a Hodges episode.  Those of you who are not familiar with CSI: do not know what you are missing out.  Hodges is played by Wallace Langham and I love him (the character.  While I am fond of Wallace Langham as an actor, I don’t actually know him).  In fact, as I told Christy this morning, my love for Hodges transcends my love for Data from Star Trek:  TNG.  That is strong loo0ve, people (I did not actually mean to spell love with three o’s but one of my fingers is bandaged and it is making typing rather difficult).

This episode, Hodges is at a Sci Fi convention.  There are Star Trek references left and right and at one point Hodges utters “He’s dead, Jim.”  It was AWESOME!  Also, there are several fantasy sequences where Hodges imagines himself as the captain on this show called AstroQuest while he’s falling more and more for the charms of Wendy.  Did I mention it was awesome? 

On Sunday we went to Beth’s Dad’s house where we watched quite possibly one of the best shows ever (no.  I never ever exaggerate.  What do you mean?) – Mythbusters.  I’ve seen the show before but this was the Demolition Derby special.  Things blew up, cars were crashed and helicopters and rockets were involved.  In other words, things went BOOM!  I like it when things go boom.

Monday it was off to see Beth’s mom Laurie and her boyfriend Scott.  We met the newest addition to the family, the sweet Corgi puppy Annie James (okay, she’s six but all dogs are puppys to me).  Like all of Laurie’s pets, Annie is a rescue dog.  She is seriously adorable and I wanted to take her home.  We went to try a new restaurant (to us) in Eden Prairie – Baker’s Ribs.  If you like barbeque (and, you know, are in Minnesota), you should check it out.  YUM!  We also watched Heroes where I drooled over the gorgeous Sylar.  We also watched two Star Trek previews and complained over the lack of Spock in them both.  This is how powerful my attraction to Zachary Quinto is – I want more Spock.  Spock is my least favorite Star Trek character.

Much scrapbooking was completed and I arrived home last night, to be greeted by starving kittens.  I also returned home injured.  I tried to scratch a hole in my neck because of the itching caused by the seat belt, I have a paper cut and a hang nail that got infected (hence the problem typing).  It’s quite horrible.  I admit it, I am a complete baby when it comes to pain.

I hope you allo had a great weekend as welol.

Other than having the plague and managing to pass it on to Keem (which she was completely thrilled about, let me tell you), I did have a great weekend.

On my way down to the lobby to meet Beth, I got onto the elevator to see a somewhat punkish but polite young man.  We exchanged nods.  Two floors later, this group of annoying preppy people pile onto the elevator.  There’s seven of them.  Five are on the elevator and two say they will take the next one down.  Someone on the elevator says “Oh, c’mon, we can make it.”

So I smush into the corner as much as possible while they debate back and forth about whether the two will get on the elevator.  Finally the two get on when one of the five says “We’re holding up the elevator for other people.”

Which, hey, nice that they acknowledged us, right?

So Mr. Drunky McDrunkerson gets on the elevator (did I mention they were all wearing green?  And that it wasn’t even 7 PM? And he was carrying a beer?) along with the 5th member of the “Oh, gosh, we’re so pretty and blonde and shined and buffed to the nines and let us giggle incessantly on everything Mr. McDrunkerson does…because he’s so hot and gosh, I like him” girls.

McDrunkerson waits for the elevator door to start closing and then makes this weird little sound and sticks his leg out.  This makes the automatic eye stop the elevator door. 

OH!  You’re so funny!  HAHAHAHA!

He does this FOUR times!  Four. 

I was about ready to kill him.

Finally, one of the girls tells him to knock it off (I don’t think the other guy spoke one word) and he listens.  The other one whines about how he never calls her.  What?  Why would you want him to call you?  He’s an ass.  A drunken ass.

When I got into Beth’s car, I gave her permission to run him down.  She did not.  Sadness.

Beth and I scrapbooked Saturday night until about 4 on Sunday morning.  Sunday we went to pick up Char and meet Keem in Minneapolis where we went to see the Gilbert and Sullivan Very Light Opera Company present Ruddigore.  This is Beth’s favorite of the Gilbert and Sullivan plays (operas?  Operettas?  Whatever) and I was able to see why.  It was hilarious and skewed society even more than G&S usually did. 

After the operetta let out, we journeyed through Minneapolis to Fogo de Chao which is a Brazillian steakhouse.  Neither Keem and I have been there before but we plan on coming back many, many times.  It was fantastic.  As Char put it “There’s all this meat walking by and they keep bringing us beef.”  What’s not to love?  Handsome men with accents, great food and creme brulee for dessert.  Creme brulee is my favorite dessert ever.  I had gone to the bathroom and there was a conspiracy with the attractive waiter to surprise me.  Yay! 

It was time for me to make a wish and I closed my eyes.  I was drawing a blank.

DM:  I don’t know what to wish for!  I have everything!*
Beth:  Do you have an android boyfriend?
DM:  Oh!  No, I don’t!
Char:  Dana wants an android boyfriend?  What?

*This is the miracle of happy pills.  Just four days ago, I was completely miserable.  Once the chemical balance is dealt with, I can recognize how great my life is (well, except for bills.  They suck).

After dinner, Keem went home and I journeyed with Beth to drop Char off and then go scrapbook for a few more hours.  I’m getting further with my Portugal album.  I might even finish it before the 5th anniversary of our trip there.

I hope you all had a great weekend!

My weekend was, well, there. Keem and I did laundry which is always a laugh riot (although, actually sometimes it is, especially if you find kitty toys hidden in with your clothes. Or the weird, creepy guy trys to hold a conversation with you). We also went to Catherine’s where I bought cute and cheap clothes by attacking the clearance rack. And also bought jeans that fit and do not try to slither down my body whenever I walk down a flight of stairs or do anything more strenuous than standing completely still. This is an important thing to check jeans for. If you do not have to unbutton them to get them on, they are probably too big. And we made a trip to the Big Book Store in the Sky (that would be Barnes and Noble. I’m not sure why we call it that. Perhaps it is because this store is what I picture Heaven to be like. Comfy chairs and books as far as the eye can see) where I bought the new JD Robb book. Yay for futuristic homicide detectives with hot husbands!

Kalli is going to the vet tomorrow. We cannot feed her after 8 PM tonight. This is not going to go well because Kalli likes her treats. And she will wake us up at 6:30 to let us know that she believes we are slacking in the parenting department and must feed her now. She is usually in Keem’s room at 6:30 and mine about 6:45 and then will alternate between us. Usually Keem gets the brunt of it with Kalli jumping on top of her, meowing piteously and then something will freak her out so she will go “EEP!” and run away. And then repeat until we finally get up at 7:30 or so.

Eddy and Kalli are playing together more and more each day. Kalli follows him everywhere which is incredibly cute. The other day she climbed into his cat bed with him and instead of initiating a play fight, she started giving him a bath. Eddy reciprocated while Keem and I watched and said “Aww” a lot. No pictures of it because we knew perfectly well that they would both run away if I got up to get the camera.

Got a reprimand today for working overtime and not putting it on my time card. Apparently that is wrong. I cannot do it again because I’d be placed on a performance plan if I do. However, I finally said something to everyone about having too much work to do and I need help. Help finally arrived and so I’m not as panicked about everything.

Kari, Eric and Josh came over this weekend. Josh is in love with my roommate. It’s quite cute actually, he follows her everywhere and calls her “My Kimmy” except he can’t say K’s and so it sounds like “My Timmy.” We watched Spy Kids 3 last night and Josh liked the movie and wants to watch the other ones now. Which is cool, I love the movies as well. They’re a little silly but fun to watch with kids.

Hope you all had a good weekend. Dana out.

I did lots and lots of things including:

  • Getting bit by a table (I hit my elbow on it.  It was very painful and it took some of my skin.  Sob).
  • Forgot to leave my keys for my sister so she could actually feed my cats (fortunately she has a key to the apartment, she just doesn’t have the key fob so she can get into the building.  The security guards let her in so the cats didn’t starve).  Oops. 
  • Was lectured by my mother for not leaving the keys for my sister.  I do not need her guilt trips but she keeps giving them to me.  Grr.
  • Got caught up on some blogs but am still behind on others.  I’m working on it!
  • Agreed to go on vacation with my mother and sister in August.  Even though every time I do go on vacation with them, I get sick and/or the ocean tries to kill me.  We’re going to Wisconsin again, near the House on the Rock and the awesome, awesome Mustard Museum!  Also a possibility, going to Milwaukee to the zoo and maybe the Planetarium!  Woo-hoo!  I am dragging Keem along with me.
  • Became an ordained minister.  Yes.  Seriously.  I have a certificate and everything.  I can now perform weddings, start my own church and absolve sins.  Okay, I may actually have to go a little bit further and register with the state to do the weddings.  Also, the absolving sins idea makes me feel a little weird.  Although now I can say “Go with peace” all the time!  But the church idea, well, I think this sums it up best – Mwahahahaha!  Thanks to NPW for pointing me in the right direction.  I cannot wait to tell my mother this and listen to her have a conniption fit.  I am trying to come up with a good church name but since “Church of the Angry Frankenstein Monsters” is already taken, I’m at a loss.  Maybe “Church of the Queen of the Universe”?  Or is that too sacrelgious?  Perhaps “Church of the Angry Queens of the Universe?”
  • Please think good bloggy mojo thoughts for NPW, by the way.  She is a school librarian and may have her job cut which just irritates me right the bad word out.  Teachers and librarians should not have to worry about losing their jobs.
  • Complained about my knees because I walked up and down stairs all last weekend (Great scrapbooking-a-thon at Beth’s) and then this weekend.  My knees do not like me right now.
  • Read one of the funniest posts ever by Miss Melissa.  I can seriously see her becoming an internet sensation now.

I think that’s it.  And even if it isn’t it, I have to go work now.  Dang it.

Disturbing Injury

Went to my chiropractor today and we talked about how my range of motion has seriously increased since I’ve been visiting him.  In fact, when I tripped over my laptop cord a few weeks ago, it hardly had any impact on me (I had some muscle spasms but they went away after the adjustment).  A year ago, that fall could have kept me in serious pain for weeks, if not months.

We started talking about the fact that the only consistent pain that I have now is in my left arm.  While that has improved greatly (since I can actually raise it over my head now instead of cradling it to my body hoping no one would touch it), there is still some pain.  I asked him about it today (I know.  You’d think I would have said something when I first started seeing him instead of, oh, three months later.  But I think it was because I was so excited that there was less pain everywhere and I kind of forgot).

He did a brief examination in which he touched my arm in various muscle group areas and where I yelled “Ow, ow, ow.  Please stop touching me!”  That typically makes him laugh because it’s pretty difficult to adjust someone if you can’t touch them.  Turns out that every single muscle group is inflamed.  And that my rotator cuff is doing something it isn’t supposed to do (I’m not exactly sure what that is – something about it is impinged?  And out of alignment?).  He asked me if I had ever heard of the rotator cuff and my immediate thought was of baseball pitchers and how you’re always hearing about how they did something to their rotator cuff and were on the bench because of it.

It leads to the question how exactly did this happen to me?  I’m right handed.  I have not pitched a baseball (or softball or any other type of ball) in years (at least 23).  How is it possible that my left arm has decided to pretty much separate from my dang body?  Okay, yes, I am exaggerating but seriously, when have you ever known me not to exaggerate?  Am I lurking around baseball fields in my sleep?

It pretty much means that I have to stop sleeping on my left side.  That could be part of the problem.   Next week I’ll be learning exciting new exercises because, while he can treat the arm, it makes it difficult to have any improvement while it is so inflamed.

Still Pretty in Pink but ticking me off a little

In other news, I am still loving my new iPod and discovering new music.  Beth gave me iTunes gift cards for Christmas and they made me so very happy.  I have purchased a ton of music, mainly stuff I haven’t listened to in years (Like Dan Seals Greatest Hits (I was quite fond of Country during the 80’s and saw him in concert.  It was awesome)) and some new music (more Country.  George Strait River of Love (really, really good) and SHeDAISY Don’t Worry About a Thing (makes me happy even though I am still worried about things) plus Pink’s Who Knew which makes me sad but it is still really pretty.  There are other songs but those are sticking out in my mind right now).  But the question I have to ask, now that I have loaded all these new songs on to my iPod, does she insist on playing Merle Haggard and the Eagles?  And Chicago.  I am so sick of Chicago.

For example, I just hit the next button and it was Merle Haggard, Herman’s Hermits (oh shut up), The Eagles, Neil Diamond, Neil Diamond, Merle Haggard, The Doors, The Doors.  Where is my new music?  And yes, I have to create a new playlist but that is not the point.  Read my mind, iPod.  Your cousin manages to read Beth’s.

On a happier note, I did load the South Park Christmas Album and was just reminded of how much I love It’s Christmas Time in Hell.  Awesome.

Sucked into Mindless Consumerism

Keem and I went shopping this weekend and joined Sam’s Club.  Yeah, like I really needed 45 peanut butter and cheese crackers (but I did get the sequel to Inkheart and am loving it.  Bless you, Cornelia Funke).  We also went to Target where I forgot to pick up my prescription for Happy Pills (been out for about a month.  Surprised I haven’t killed anyone yet) but did buy a rice cooker.  I fell in love with Beth’s during the great Scrapbooking Extravaganza.  Her’s is through Pampered Chef and is microwavable.  Mine is not, it is by Rival but I can steam vegetables and rice together and that is awfully exciting.  I look forward to breaking it out tonight.

I am trying something Sheryl from Paper Napkin is doing.  Instead of dieting, she’s making substitutions.  I am trying this and instead of Mountain Dew last week, I had Diet Coke.  I am beginning to like the taste of Diet Coke which is just freakin’ wrong.  I also picked up a 12 pack of Tab yesterday (and just realized that I am right, there is a difference in the taste, they replaced the Sacharin with NutraSweet.  Huh.  Do I like it?  Maybe.  Would I be happier if it was Mountain Dew?  Yes.  But I’m being strong.  Damn it.

Of course, substitution does not work in your favor if you decide to eat all 45 packets of the crackers instead of your lean fire roasted vegetables/three cheese ravioli from Market Pantry (okay, not 45 packets.  I am exaggerating again).  Or my weight in cookies instead of rice and broccoli.  But dang it, Joe sent them to me and they were yummy.

Hope you all had a good weekend!

It is hard to believe that it is 2009.  It just doesn’t seem possible.  I spent the remaining few hours of the New Year at work.  I was finally done with all my monitorings at 8:45 or thereabouts.  I rang in the New Year at Beth’s, watching the ball drop and trying so desperately hard (and failing) to not laugh at Dick Clark.  I think it is so sweet that he’s still doing this and Beth and I agree, he does look like he’s in his 50’s still but the first thought I had was that they animated a wax dummy.  I know.  I’m going to hell.  I would also like to know why the network thought “Hey!  Let’s replace him with Ryan Seacrest!  What better way to say Happy New Year than dealing with a No Talent Hack?”

I have very strong feelings about Ryan Seacrest.  I hate him.  I also am not fond of Taylor Swift.  Or her hair.  I am hoping that this is not an inkling of 2009 for me.  Can it bode well that I spent the early moments of it filled with hatred towards Ryan Seacrest and Taylor Swift?  Probably not.

The rest of the weekend was spent at Beth’s for the 2009 Scrapbooking Extravaganza!  I finished Evora and the Chapel of Bone for Portugal.  Only almost 4 years from the date of the trip.  Sigh.  Next is Belem and the monastery.  We did not make snowmen but I am not really surprised by this.  We have an aversion to the cold and snow is typically cold and wet.

I came home early Monday morning, hoping to collect my keys from the security guard and get to bed.  Instead my keys were not there and my sister, brother-in-law and nephew were still in my apartment (they watch the cats when Keem and I are not there).  Apparently they decided to spend another night.  I was greeted by Kalli, Eddy and Sebastian (Kari didn’t want to leave the Demon Cat by himself while they were enjoying Hotel Keem and Dana) who followed me around for a good hour and all ended up in my bed.  It made me feel welcome and missed, having 3 cats pawing and meowing at me.  Kari thinks Kalli might be in heat to which I say “Oh, dear God, no. ”  She was following Sebastian around a lot and flaunting herself, the little floozy.  But I did catch her trying to search for milk on him, something he didn’t seem to care much for so that might be what she wanted.

I hope you all had a great weekend and a safe New Year celebration.  I’m looking forward to catching up with all of your shenanigans!

·        Keem and I were supposed to go to LaCrosse this weekend and go shopping with Keem’s mom Kathy and bake cookies.  We did not because of the prediction of horrible driving conditions.

·        Instead, we went shopping on Saturday because Keem had Christmas presents to purchase

·        One of the presents she bought was for her niece Kylie.  I know I should be against encouraging girls to only think about their hair and makeup and maybe a good book would be better but this is seriously the coolest thing ever and Keem and I both want it.  Maybe Kylie will let us play with it the next time we go to LaCrosse. 

·        I should also hate it because it is called Stylin’ Studio and is also encouraging girls to drop the g but I am really bad at this when it comes to things as well (case in point – my insistence on referring to things as “rockin’.”  Because it’s not bad enough that I drop the g, I also have to date myself as being one from the 80’s.  But seriously.  You can take your picture with the built in digital camera and then change your hair style!  I could see what I would look like with pink streaks in my hair and then forward the picture to my mom and freak her out.  My mom is against the idea of pink streaks and also not overly fond that I am dying my hair a burgundy color.  Kari once told me “That is not a color you can find in nature” and I believe my intelligent response was “What’s your point?”

·        Keem bought her nephew Drake this really cool space rocket thing that makes noises and has an alien space ship.  We kind of want to play with that as well.

·        I am incredibly grateful to Super America for coming up with their Speedy Rewards Points redemption thing.  Because of this, I was able to exchange points for a $25 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble and thus was able to purchase two books.  JD Robb’s Salvation in Death and a new Charlaine Harris book about a completely different heroine than Sookie Stackhouse called Grave Sight.  Why do my favorite authors insist on doing this to me?  Do they not understand my book shelf is already packed?  Of course, if they didn’t, I would be complaining a lot about not having anything to read.

·        We also went to Pier One where we did not purchase anything and drove by Bath and Body Works and lusted after the glorious scents and lotions and yummy smelling body wash.  Unfortunately BBW is NOT in the budget.  But God, how I really want the Midnight Pomegranate body wash.

·        We also went to Jo-Ann’s because our department was having a contest called Operation Snowman.  We have a Fun Committee (apparently to stimulate morale) and this was their idea.  The whole idea is that you make a snowman out of any material other than snow. 

·        Keem and I decided we needed to do this.  I thought about cross stitching some snowmen but we had about a week to do it and I am not that quick of a cross stitcher.  Instead Keem came up with the idea to create a group of tiny snowmen and base them on our teams (she’s on the Help Desk; my team is the monitoring team).  We were going to try to make snowmen for the other people on our side of the call center but realized this would soon get expensive.  As it was, our supplies from Jo-Ann’s ended up being about $32.  This is not in my budget but Keem paid for them.

·        Here are some pictures of the awesome little snowpeoples.  Keem and I made these on Sunday night during “Craft Hour.”  I decided we needed to be more creative and this gave us something to do while we were exercising (or to be more exact, bouncing on yoga balls.  Not the most energetic but it’s a start, right?).



As you can see, the snow storm isn’t that evenly dispersed.  I was on one side, Keem was on the other when the picture was being snapped.



Close up on the faces.  I am quite proud of them but want to state for the record that this was just a tad difficult.  Tiny beads want to disappear into the Styrofoam.  Also, quite fond of the snowman with the snowball on his head. 


The snow flakes are made from corn starch and are eco-friendly instead of being from polyester.  The snowballs are tiny little pom poms.  We thought about stringing some on a clear beading filament so it looked like the snowballs were flying but decided that was too much work.

·        Kalli was quite fond of the snowpeoples and tried to eat them.  Multiple times.  Tiny little heads were rolling.  Plus Eddy decided to start playing with the beading wire.  Craft Hour only really works if you don’t have cats.

·        Also Sunday night, I had a lovely experience.  I had placed my laptop on the coffee table so I could use the TV Tray for Craft Hour (someday I’m going to get Dave from IKEA (Dave is a laptop desk and Beth has him and I love him and want one for my very own.  TV Trays do not work well as laptop desks).  Anyway, I got up after dinner to bring our plates back into the kitchen and get Keem some more water.

·        And my toe caught on the laptop cord because hey, let’s leave the thing plugged in and let the cord stretch across the ground.  That’s brilliant!

·        So I went falling face forward, in what seemed to be slow motion.  I managed to put my arm out and twist my body enough that I didn’t smash into the coffee table (which is glass so that could be quite painful) or break the dishes.

·        Keem asked me if I was okay and I promptly burst into tears.  And told her I was broken.

·        I am not broken.  But I sure am bruised.  And can laugh about it now but gosh darnit, that freakin’ hurt!  I blame the laptop.  Which I still have not named.  Odd.  Zoe (the camera) received her name in 2 days top.

·        Also, we found out that Keem’s dad, Gary, is in the hospital because he was feeling weak and didn’t bother to tell anyone about it until Saturday when he asked Keem’s mom, Kathy, to bring him in.  He had to have a transfusion of 5 pints of blood so they thought there might be internal bleeding.  Keem talked to him last night and he is mightily bored and hungry (they haven’t let him eat yet) but they can’t figure out was wrong.

·        He got to have a colonoscopy and they didn’t find anything.  So I guess he gets to swallow a camera today.  Gosh, that sounds like fun.

·        Your prayers and positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

·        I have a gigantic zit on my cheek.  It looks like an alien is trying to burrow itself out of my face.  Blech.

·        I bought a hat because it is colder than heck outside.  Negative 9 degrees Fahrenheit.  What the heck is this?  That is just wrong.  Wrong!  My mom is complaining because it’s below 60 degrees in Arizona.  Boo bad word hoo.

·        Break is over.  Back to work.  See ya!


Okay, let’s try the snowmen again.  Look to the left.  They are over in my flickr queue thing.  I will work this out.  I think it is because WordPress doesn’t like the fact that I did this in Word first.  Grr.

Last weekend wasn’t overly exciting. Keem and I did make a trip to JoAnn’s where I bought some scrapbooking paper and other crafty things. We were going to do laundry but both of us hate doing laundry and will usually put it off until the very last minute. Because, you know, if you hate doing something, you should just wait until you have a ton of it to do. That makes sense.

Sunday Beth picked me up and we tried to decide what we were going to do. Beth called James and he said he would call us if he and Liz decided they were going to go out. Meanwhile, Beth drove around and we talked. We decided to head to her apartment and scrapbook.

However, once we got there, the plans changed a little bit. Beth was drawn to an area in her apartment. An area so filled with trepidation and danger that I was a bit frightened. Yes, it was the card table and on the card table was a gigantic puzzle that Beth had been working on for awhile. She had made a lot of progress since I had been over the weekend before.

Unable to help herself, Beth took to moving the puzzle pieces around while I decided to go scrapbook. And that’s when things got a little weird.

Beth: I found a piece.
DM: That’s good.


Beth: Do you know how many pieces I’ve found since my last puzzle update?
DM: No.
Beth: One. One piece.


Beth: That’s it. I’ve had it. Pieces, you will arrange yourself. I’m closing my eyes.

I look over. She has her eyes scrunched shut similar to Hiro on Heroes when he is trying to teleport.

DM: If the pieces start flying around in the air, I am going to be really freaked out.
Beth: I am opening my eyes.

The pieces, oddly enough, resisted Beth’s exhortions and just laid there on the table.

Beth: Damn you!

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and many puzzle updates. I believe there may have been a total of 15. There was also the occasional curse.

Beth: So what did you do Sunday night? I worked on a puzzle. Wow.
DM: We have such exciting lives.

Disclaimer: This took place last Sunday and I have a hard enough time remembering what people said 5 minutes ago. I may not have quoted us properly. Sorry about that.

And you know, somehow this post is not as exciting as I thought it was going to be. Maybe you had to be there but the frustration in Beth’s voice was hilarious. You know what else is hilarious? The fact that she organizes her puzzles pieces in little stacks based on color. Instead of just leaving them scatter all about the place like I do. Although that might explain why she actually finished the puzzle and I have yet to finish more than the border of one. Hmm. I may have to try this stacking thing.

You still have an opportunity to hit me up for a present this Holiday season.

Oh, Udge is doing this and I am all about peer pressure and giving things to people so
the first five commenters to sign up for the meme here and post the same promise on their blogs will receive a small present-like thing from me. It will help jumpstart the holiday spirit for me. You will have to provide me with your real name and address but please keep in mind that I don’t drive and so probably would not be able to stalk you. Unless I am able to convince the Greyhound bus driver to circle around your house obsessively. I think that’s unlikely. I have
no idea what the small present-like thing will be but I must warn you, there is the chance you could receive a monkey sitting in a chair. I can be very strange. Just ask Beth.

Leave me a comment. And you know, I think I’m okay if you’ve already done this with someone else. I like to give presents.

Oh, and if you are wondering just exactly a monkey sitting in a chair looks like, click here. I maintain that it was a highly creative, non-boring gift. Beth maintains that I obviously go shopping while indulging in lots and lots of crack.*

*Beth has never said this. I like to exaggerate. I know you are all shocked at this.

Can’t come up with a creative title. This is very sad. I tried to find other creative church signs to use as a title but I kept running into the church sign generator which, while funny, is not what I was looking for.

Day 2 of NoBloPoMo. And the continuation of my weekend o’scrapbooking. I sense your excitement.

Sunday Beth and I went to her Dad’s house for dinner. We enjoyed pizza and cheesecake (her’s was topped with a birthday candle). We also watched several episodes of Law & Order and CSI:.

DM (about some guy (McCoy?) on Law & Order): That guy has very unfortunate eyebrows (they were horrible! They were almost squarish).

After this we met up with Dean and James at Brady’s.

DM: I don’t think I’ve ever been to Brady’s.
Beth (laughing): Yes, you have.
DM: Oh. Is that where…?
Beth: Yep.
DM: Maybe I’ll have to fake another asthma attack*.

*Background – back a long time ago, Beth and I ended up at Brady’s to meet this guy that she really, really liked. Instead, we found Pete, his annoying friend. Pete makes no mention of the fact that THE BOY had to work early the next morning. He does proceed to hit on Beth all night. Because I hate to see my friend suffer, I decided to fake an asthma attack. Details are here. I still think I should win an Oscar for that performance.

Apparently the boy is there (In case you’re wondering, he has been demoted in Beth’s affections and that is why the font of his fake name has changed. They never did end up going out and Beth realized that he really wasn’t the right guy for her). I do not notice him. I do see Pete later on in the evening and manage to avoid eye contact.

Dean and James arrive (do not refer to them as James and Dean. They hate that) and we spend some time talking about stuff, the usual stuff we always talk about. Which means everything and anything. There is also time spent by my telling James that I did not like him and especially do not like him (I wanted to say “the fact that you are scruffy and that makes me want to bite you” but refrained). I’m not sure why I was mad at him but it’s James and he can be so irritating at times. It was probably when he got upset at me for saying that I thought Halle Berry was a good actress. Beth and Dean decided to hightail it for the bathroom then. This is the problem of being friends with a man who takes movies so seriously. He often gets upset over what I deem a good movie. We occasionally agree but a lot of time is spent with me saying “Oh, I liked that movie” and him saying such things as “No, you did not” or “Really? Really? You did not say that” or “Perhaps you should never talk again.”

Dean brings up the fact that he doesn’t like scary movies and I mentioned that I was frightened by Scary Movie 3. Dean and James are highly amused by this. Beth is already aware of it. We tell them about the time we went to Vegas and stayed at the Luxor and watched this movie. And then I had nightmares. And then, the next morning, there was this scary, scraping noise on the windows.

DM: And it was awful! There was this scraping and then this filmy shadow and I was afraid of opening the window, especially because there was sunlight out there!
James: Why would you be afraid of opening the window?
DM: Because I was worried Beth would burst into flames.
Dean: Hahahahaha! Give me some.

He makes me do that weird bumps thing that I’ve never really understood.

DM: The only reason I know that Beth is not a vampire is because she eats garlic*.

*Well, I’ve never actually see her drain the blood of a human either but you never know…she was enthusiastic about seeing what her blood sugar level was this weekend. And couldn’t believe that it took me forever to get up the nerve to poke myself.

We got to spend quality time in “the kennel.” Since stupid people decided that smoking was bad and you can’t do it indoors anymore, all smoking has to be outside. Dean and Beth were willing to join James and I outside so we could infect them with second hand smoke. They’re cool like that. Brady’s has rigged up this dog cage with heat lamps. It’s actually kind of cool looking and it is comfortable, there are tables and chairs outside (of course they are metal so I imagine this will get pretty cold in a month or so). You can still smoke at casinos but that really could have a negative impact on my wallet so don’t think that’s going to be an option.

Monday, we went back to Beth’s mom’s house where we ate the best sloppy joes ever and watched Heroes. Finally Hiro kissed what’s her name. About time.

While watching, Mohinder’s boss came on the screen. Bob is kind of a schlumpy guy with a receding hairline.

DM: Unfortunately sometimes evil is not hot.
Beth: True.
DM (to Beth’s mom who is looking perplexed): I have a thing for bad guys. Usually they’re the most attractive*.

*Case in point – Sam Rockwell in Charlie’s Angels. When he was the nice, kind of nerdy computer guy, I had absolutely no interest in him. The minute it was revealed that he was the evil mastermind and did that hot little spin while wearing the sunglasses, I was totally intrigued.

Afterwards, Beth drove me home and I tried to sneak into the apartment but Eddy made that very difficult with his trying to climb into the IKEA bag and my suitcase. Keem was not pleased to be woken up.

And that is it. The excitement of my weekend. I know you are all totally thrilled by this.

July 2018
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