Why I hate Spock but love Data

There’s this guy. I know him only vaguely but he intrigues me. And I don’t get it.

I don’t know if I’m attracted to him or not. Keem and Beth will laugh because I have said I wanted to lick him and that obviously means I’m attracted but I don’t know that it does.

I don’t know if I like him or not.

He intrigues me. I think he may be an android. So I will, from now on, call him Data. Because I was oddly fascinated with Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. I’m not sure why, especially when you think about how much Spock annoys me with all of his buzz harshing (believe me when I say you will not understand what I mean unless you read the post. I wouldn’t lie about this).

Data was cool (STNG Data, not guy who I may or may not like). He wasn’t human but he didn’t let that stop him. He tried very hard to get in touch with his feelings, unlike most men. He was a good friend, even when he didn’t understand the concept of friendship. He liked cats!

The non-STNG Data does not appear to have any feelings. Even when I looked up and found him staring at me. Several times. And there is a witness to this, I am not hallucinating. Seriously. I do not make stuff up. Okay, I make up a lot of stuff but not this.

And why am I giving him a fake name when I have blatantly announced my lust for Bobby’s bar-tending skills? And where Bobby works? And how seductively he pours Diet Coke and water? Not that I am expecting Bobby to find my blog any time soon but he could and then I would have to explain that I am not a freak and will not be jumping over the bar anytime soon to attack him.

Anyway, there’s this guy and I don’t know if I like him or not. I sometimes think about licking his neck but that may be because I want to find out if he’s an android or not. Not that I actually know what an android tastes like.

Am I the weirdest person you know? You can tell me.

Previous Comments:

At 4:33 PM, The Lioness said…
I so SO SOOOOOOOO like you!!! :DDDDD
At 7:22 PM, angelia said…
Dana, you are definately not the wierdest person I know, however, perhaps the most entertaining
At 7:33 PM, Firebear said…
Should i be worried that you compare a guy to two non-emotional characters?[I don’t know if I’m attracted to him or not.]Sounds like yes, but conditional, maybe on whether he likes you.[jumping over the bar anytime soon to attack him.]i would have said bar hopping. Why? cause that is the way I think. And it sounds funny. [I sometimes think about licking his neck ]in a mother cat type of lick, like hey let me clean your neck. or a OMG I want to move my tongue up and down at the base of your skull, moving slowly to the front, brushing my lips across the skin, feeling your heart beat and biting just enough to cause a quick intake of breath or just a friendly, how are you doing lick of his neckthere is a difference. and if he is an android, he probaly would not do the intake of breath thing.[Am I the weirdest person you know?]no, you seem quite normal to me. I am glad to have meet you.
At 11:42 PM, Matt said…

Father,
Maybe it is because in a past life you were a deer, and he reminds you of your favorite salt lick in the middle of a forest, that you want to lick him, I am not sure. You are not the weirdest person I kn……ok yes you are one of them, but I do know someone weirder than you, and yes I will eventually blog about him. You will enjoy him, oh yes, you will enjoy him……Matt, aka Fester,aka Son, aka thewindowlickingcat, aka Whatever you feel like calling me
At 12:06 AM, brooksba said…
Dana, Dana, Dana,I think you do like him. You’re at least intriqued and that’s the beginning. You’re not THE weirdest person I know. But then, remember where I used to hang out. Maybe I’m not a good judge about weird.Beth
At 11:49 AM, DeAnn said…
I do NOT think you’re the weirdest person ever. In fact, I think you’re kind of normal (although this is in comparison to me and I’ve been told I’m VERY weird, so take that as you will).

I was bad

So I went to karaoke on Sunday night, even knowing that I had not enough sleep and was not feeling particularly good (this is from the lack of sleep), because, hello, it is karaoke and it was for Beth’s birthday and that is enough for me. Who needs sleep?

I had a good time. I always have a good time at karaoke because there is Beth and Bryan, our host, and Troy and Katie were there as well.

I also formulated a plan to kill the guy that touched Beth, if he would have come over and touched her again. The first time it happened, my reaction time was a little slow. Fortunately, he did get into a fight with his sister and left. After butchering Queen and Meat Loaf. For which he should also die. And why, why, why would you sing Paradise By the Dashboard Lights with your mother? Oh, my God. That is horrific.

Bobby was there and, as always, he poured the Diet Coke with a slice of lime and the Water with his manly hands. It was beautiful. Both Katie and Beth have seen the water and agree with me that it is quite sexy. I also must say that I was devastated that there was only one lime slice in my Diet Coke, this obviously means that Bobby no longer loves me. Sob. I am heartbroken (for the record, I am not pining away for Bobby. It amuses me to pretend that I have a thing for him. Which I do, a little, but not in the “Oh, he’s the one” kind of way. More in the “Oh, my God, would you look at those hands” kind of way. Is that wrong?).

Then I went home and tossed and turned for four hours. My alarm went off and I stared at it and wept. Well, okay, I didn’t actually cry but I wanted to. I told Keem I was not going to go to work, called my boss and then crawled back into bed. And did not get out of it until 2 PM. So, obviously, I needed the sleep. I felt like crap all day but today, I am feeling better.

And, for the record again, I did tell my boss that I went out on Sunday but that I hadn’t been feeling good before that and that I also do not drink so he doesn’t think it was a hangover. And he does not hate me, so that’s good.

Beth, if you even think about feeling guilty that I didn’t go to work, I will be forced to slap you. And then run screaming away when you, rightly, kick my ass. I am a slacker and I know it. I could have gone to work but I was just so tired and the sleeping felt so good. And there was another issue but we’re not going there.

Previous Comments:

At 2:22 PM, Firebear said…
this is a great post on friendship. and a good “day in the life…” Maybe that’s what I will do, a day in the life of Bear. I wonder if I can have it end with a fantasy cat fight like this one did!
At 2:50 PM, brooksba said…
DM,I’m sorry you didn’t feel well. I do feel bad about you not going to work, even if it was your choice.Hey! You didn’t go to work and you didn’t BLOG!!!Did Keem go to work?Okay, bye!Beth
At 3:42 PM, CarpeDM said…
No, I slept all day. And then I was allowed a little time online where I got to look at maybe one or two blogs and then my sister called and I got kicked off and then I was not allowed to play anymore because it was dinner time and then I ate and then we watched tv and then I went to bed and slept some more and now I am all better. Keem went to work. She is not a slacker.
At 3:51 PM, brooksba said…
DM,Okay. I was just trying to determine how long you blogged yesterday. I want lots of posts!!!I can’t believe I took days off of work. I’m going insane. Bye!
At 4:07 PM, The Lioness said…
I have categories!!!!!!! Easy to do but v time consuming AND aggravating bcs some of the links appear not to exist though everything is fine. ARGH! But I have categories!!! Hope you’re rested. (Would you kill me if I said you look cute? *OUCH* And dimples are great!!!)
At 11:45 PM, Matt said…
Now I know where my slacker gene comes from…thank you for the post Father, it was great. Matt